Cast

Dearest reader

Thanks for being here! If you haven't read Part 1 (the audition) already I would. This isn't going to make much sense if you don't.

If you have, don't expect more of the same. This chapter is all about character development. I hope that's ok. No worries if that's not your thing. However, regular readers of my stories may be pleased by the return of some familiar faces.

If you're still here, thanks so much. I'm really invested in these characters and it's lovely that you are too.

Happy reading.

Love T x

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Eve and Lucy part 2: cast

Carrie: Sunday

Beep! Beep!

I honk the horn of the GT as I pull into the Parkway car park. If they were on time, then the train got in 12 minutes ago. My unexpected, ahem, layover with Amanda has made me much later than planned.

Ah, yes, I see Cameron waving, and I pull up on the double yellows for a second. Cameron and his younger brother Charlie chuck their bags in the boot, then squeeze behind the passenger door onto the rear bench.

"Urghh," moans Cameron, "we're getting too big for this sis."

"Yeah, I know," I tease, "I'll talk Gran into selling it and buying a Volvo."

"Don't you dare!" They both chorus.

I'm messing with them. I wouldn't. Not only was it my Grandad's pride and joy, but I know both boys are desperate to have a go at driving it. Cameron's 16, so next year. Maybe.

"Thanks Carrie," Mum says as she climbs in the front and leans over to kiss me.

"No problem," I smile back, then check mirrors, indicate and pull out. "Sorry I was late. How was the match, boys?"

"Amazing!"

"Brilliant! So good!"

"Yeah, it was so close at the end and then..."

Over the next few minutes I get a rather disjointed recap of the rugby match between Bristol and Gloucester that they'd been taken to see. Disjointed because they are both trying to tell me the tale and neither wants to be relegated to the role of hype man for the other. I glance at mum as we wait for a red light and see a smile on her face. I'm glad it went well. This was the first time the boys had met Bex and her two sons, Jake and Tom. The long, slow rapprochement between my mum and her former friend was progressing painfully, in stops and starts, but it seems like this family outing had been a success. I knew Jake and Tom were rugby mad, and it looked like Cameron and Charlie, normally all about football, may have caught the bug.

"And Jake and Tom are cool, aren't they?" I prompt.

"Yeah, yeah, they're sound," agrees Charlie.

"Safe, yeah," his brother choruses, "we're gonna all play Fortnite online later."

"Really? You still play Fortnite? Er, 2020 called; they want their game back."

"Nah, sis, allow it!" Charlie yells. I grin, listening to my white boy brother trying to sound all street.

"Uh, Carrie, can I borrow your phone? Mine's dead, and I said I'd call Mum once we were back," Cameron asks.

"Sure," I say, passing it back. I notice Mum wince. He means his stepmum Lisa; he's lived with her since he was nine, so it's no surprise he calls her Mum too. It still hurts her though. Another little reminder of the way she feels she has failed her family. Hurts me too; if only I'd been better at covering for her, she might never have lost custody. "Passcode's 9605."

"Thanks," he says, and I see him dialling in the rearview mirror. "Hi, Mum? It's Cameron.... Yeah, we just left the station like 5 minutes ago... yeah, we had a great time thanks... cool, yeah, see you in a few... love you too." He hangs up. "Cheers Carrie."

"No worries," I say, "hold onto it for me." We're at a roundabout, and I need both hands.

"How was the... the audition?" Mum asks. Drat. I was hoping she wouldn't remember.

"It was good. I was pleased with how I did." Best to let her down quickly though, so I add, "but Amanda's going to get the part. She was amazing."

"Oh... well, I'm sorry to hear that." My Mum sounds genuinely gutted. She does love being able to brag about me. She has pictures of me as Blanche, Viola and the Baker's Wife up at work. "You might... b-b-be wrong though Carrie." Hmmm, time to cut this off.

"Actually, Cameron? Can you check my email? See if there's one from a guy called Baz? The cast list should be out by now."

"Ummm.... Ok...." There's a pause as he fiddles with my phone.

"Don't open anything else please!"

"Nah, trust me sis... yeah, there's one here. Creation of the World cast list? Is that it?"

"Yes," I say, indicating and turning past Blaise Castle. Not far now. "Read it out would you?"

"Ok... Um, dear everyone, thanks so much for your time this morning... Um, it was..."

I interrupt. "You can jump to the cast list. Tell me who Eve is?"

"Ok... oh, cool sis! You got a part!" he whoops.

"What?!" I shout as my Mum yells, "oh, that's wonderful! Well done!"

"No, wait, seriously?" I call back, "I'm Eve? Really?"

"Nah, you're not Eve; you're Lucifer."

"What?! Are you serious?!"

"Yep. Lucifer - Carrie Huntley. That's what it says. Sounds like a devil of a good part sis."

I groan, and not just from the joke.

"Well done Carrie," says Charlie, as my Mum beams and pats my thigh.

"Wait," I almost don't dare to ask, "so... who's playing Eve?"

"Er.... hang on.... Here it is. Amanda Richards... oh, wasn't she the one..."

"Yes, yes," I say, "she was Maria in Twelfth Night." I sincerely hope that's what he was going to say. "Alright, pass my phone to Mum."

"That's wonderful Carrie, you'll get to act with... with Amanda again! You'll love that!"

"Yeah, it'll be great!" I try to sound cheerful. In reality I'm thinking, "Hmmmm. Yeah. Awkward! On so many levels." My Mum thinks that Amanda and I are really close friends; my fault for enthusing about her so much. I can't really admit to needing to avoid her now. Crap, crap, crap. I wish I hadn't had Cameron read that out; if I'd read it privately I could have emailed back to withdraw. If I do that now, I'll have to have a whole conversation with Mum about why and she wouldn't get it, not unless I told her some frankly cruel home truths.

"Here we are," I say, as I pull up outside Jeff and Lisa's house. There's plenty of space to park. I jump out to let Charlie out my side, then pop the boot for them.

"Thanks sis," Charlie calls, "hi Mum!"

"Hi darling," Lisa says as she wraps him in a hug. I like Lisa, but this is a little insensitive. Charlie's Mum - my Mum - is right there.

"Hi," says Cameron, kissing his stepmum on the side of the cheek. He then comes back and hugs me, "thanks for the lifts sis", and then our Mum. "Thanks for the great weekend Mum. It was wicked."

"Yeah, thanks Mum," says Charlie. God, I don't know how they don't get confused.

"Thanks for taking them Georgie," Lisa says, "Jeff's with Evie at Blaise, but I know he'd want to thank you."

"It was a ... a pleasure. They had a great time."

"Yeah it was wicked," Charlie confirms.

"And how are you Carrie?" Lisa asks, "How's Uni?"

"It's good thanks. Not long now."

"Carrie just got cast as the devil Mum," Charlie informs her.

"Oh! Well done!" says Lisa.

"Thanks!"

"Do you want to come in...?" Lisa begins.

"No, no, we'd better get back," I say, "Gran's waiting for us." I see her relief. Lisa's always welcomed me, even invited me to live with them when things were really bad, but she's still uneasy about my Mum. Still, we all observe the forms.

"Ok, then. Are you still ok with babysitting on Wednesday?"

"In theory yes, let me get back to you when I've seen the rehearsal schedule."

"Aw, Mum, I can babysit Evie for you," Cameron says.

Lisa and I raise eyebrows at each other. This is a new development. I wonder what he wants?

"Well, we'll see..."

"Anyway, bye everyone," I call, as I get back into the car, while Mum waves, "I'll see you all soon. If I can't do Wednesday, I'll pop over on another evening?"

"Great, just let us know," Lisa replies. I try to get over there one night a week. There have been times, and there may be again, when Mum has been far from the boys' favourite person. Me maintaining a relationship with them means Mum has too. Plus, I do genuinely like them and my ex-step dad Jeff. God knows both Mum and I owe him for the times he's helped us out. He's one of the good ones. It wasn't his fault they split.

"Give my love to Jeff."

"Bye sis!" the boys call.

With a final wave and toot, we're off.

I pat my Mum's leg. "So, it was a good weekend then?" I know she'll be down now, thinking about her sons in another woman's house, with all the things she can't offer them.

"Yeah, it was." She sounds listless.

"How is Bex?" I ask.

"She's fine. Yeah. On good form. The shop's online... online store is going well, so she's happy."

I wonder if she'll tell me anything else. I don't want to push. But I really want to know where she slept.

"So, were the boys ok sleeping on the floor?" I'm fishing. Bex's house has four bedrooms. If the boys shared with Jake and Tom, then Mum was probably in the spare room; if they were in the spare room, then...

"Yeah, I think it was... was fun for them. They claim they are too... too old for sleepovers now, b-b-but I reckon they... they enjoyed it anyway. I've no idea... what time... they went to sleep. They b-b-both nodded off on the train."

Hmmmm, she's not giving anything away.

Suddenly, she's crying. Great wracking sobs, ugly tears. I pull in, park, switch off, then gather her in and let her bawl it out onto my shoulder. Is it the boys? Bex? Will she tell me?

"It's so... so hard Carrie." I think it's Bex. Her stutter is always worse when she comes back from a visit. "I think she's... she's letting me in... then... then she'll just... just shut me out."

I bite my tongue and don't say anything, just hold her.

"One moment we'll.... we'll b-b-be joking like old times then... then the next, she'll... she'll just go stiff, as... as if we're strangers."

I can't help myself. "Mum, have you thought that maybe it's time to just... let go?" My skin feels itchy.

"No, no," she shakes her head vigorously.

"Come on Mum, it's been over a year. If it's not happening, it's not happening. You need to move on."

She pulls back from me, her face streaked with tears, eyes red-rimmed, pouting and scowling at me like a petulant child. "I don't care Carrie!"

"Ok, ok," there's no point arguing. I don't know... maybe I should speak to Bex myself? But Mum will be so pissed if she finds out I've interfered.

"Sorry Carrie," she sobs, gripping my hand, "I know you're... you're just..." she sniffs, "just looking out for me. Like... like always." She gives me a smile. I know she's punishing herself inside.

"No need to apologise Mum. Come on, let's change the subject."

She nods and I start the car again, checking the mirrors before pulling out. I dredge my brain for another topic. "So, sorry I was late. Amanda twisted her ankle after the audition and I ended up helping her get home."

"Oh no, is she ok?"

"I hope so. We got some ice on it quickly and she took some ibuprofen for the swelling. Hopefully, she won't be out of action for long."

"Oh good." There's a pause. I can feel her looking at me. "And then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what... what happened then?"

"I fixed us some lunch at hers?" I start feeling uncomfortable, "we chatted?"

"Uh huh," Mum says, sounding strangely cheerful, "and then?"

"What do you mean 'and then'?" We're at traffic lights, so I turn to look at her. She can't know! I put on my most innocent face. I've had years of practice lying to my mother -

no, I don't know where your car keys are/your purse is/the bottles of wine you bought yesterday

- so I know I can fake her out now.

She raises her eyebrow at me. "It's b-b-been a few... a few years, b-b-but I remember what... what sex smells like Carrie!"

Oh shit! I thought I'd washed my face well enough!

"What? I haven't had sex!" My voice is high and squeaky.

"Don't try lying to... to a liar, Carrie," my Mum laughs.

I blush and get beeped by a car behind. The lights have changed. Grateful, I wave my hand in apology and pull away.

"And....?" My Mum isn't letting up.

"Ok, ok, yes, Amanda and I had a thing BUT," I raise my voice over her squeal of joy, "it was a one time thing."

"Why?"

"She's.... She was just curious. She's straight really."

"That's what ... what I thought."

"Yeah, whatever," I wave a hand dismissively, "anyway, I don't have time for a relationship."

"Why not?"

I glare at her, and scratch the back of my hand. "Don't start!"

"B-b-but..." she starts.

"I said don't start!" I don't want her bringing up Miriam again and how not everyone will be like her. I don't want to explain that it wasn't Miriam. "Look," I state, pointing emphatically, "I promise not to bug you about Bex, if you promise not to bug me about Amanda? Deal?"

"That's not.."

"Deal?"

She's quiet.

"Mum? Deal?"

She sighs. "Ok."

"Good. Now, not a word of this to Gran." We're pulling into Gran's drive and I ease the GT into the garage.

"I'm not completely... completely stupid!" She sighs.

* * *

Finally, after dinner, I make it up to my room. I had to recount the whole audition process and explain my role to Gran. I left out Amanda's nudity and what Mum guessed happened after. Though part of me wants to shout it from the rooftop. I slept with my crush! I want to replay it all in my head.... But that will be torture.

I don't do one night stands. Or one afternoon stands, for that matter. But I can't, I just can't commit to a relationship now. Not with things so up in the air with Mum and Bex. I'm so worried she'll relapse, my skin feels stretched. Plus there's finals coming up. And I need to fit in visits to the boys and Mike and his family, and keep Gran happy. Argh! That's even assuming Amanda would be up for a relationship, which she probably isn't.

Shit, this is going to be so awkward.

Maybe I should withdraw? I mean, Amanda kind of slept with me on the basis we wouldn't see each other again. How is she feeling about this?

Ok. Let's be mature. Let's work the problem.

We're both adults. Let's talk about it. Hmmmm, except I don't actually have her number.

I'll email her; hers will be on the email Baz sent.

I take a breath, then open my emails.

It takes me about 40 minutes to come up with a draft I'm happy with. I must have rewritten nearly every word bar her name.

Dear Amanda

I'm really sorry for abandoning you earlier. I genuinely did have to pick my Mum and brothers up from the station (they had been in Gloucester for the weekend). In fact I was actually late.

I also didn't want to deal with saying goodbye. Cowardly of me, I know. But there it is.

I want you to know that this afternoon was amazing. You're amazing. If you have no regrets, then neither do I.

If it's going to be too awkward, I'll withdraw from the play. This is your time to shine and I don't want to distract you from that. I don't want you worrying that I'm going to try and hit on you again or be expecting things to happen between us.

There's so much more I'd like to say, to explain, but email is a crappy medium for it.

I hope your ankle is ok.

Let me know what you'd like me to do.

Warmest wishes

Carrie

Her reply comes through barely 5 minutes later. I'm stunned by its brevity.

Hey Carrie

It's all cool. I'll see you at the read through.

Amanda x

OK. Guess I'm doing this.

* * *

I wake up at 5am, gasping and panting, pulled from a deeply erotic dream about Amanda, her face between my legs, her eyes boring into mine.

Shit, this is not going to be easy.

* * *

Monday drags. I only have one lecture and one tutorial, and those are in the afternoon, so I spend most of the morning in the library. My dissertation is nearly done, so I start making and coordinating my notes for finals.

I pop down and cadge lunch off Mike. I always feel mildly guilty, but he always acts pleased to see me. He wasn't around for most of my life - which, to be fair, wasn't really his fault - and I think he feels a little ashamed about that and happy to stand me a free lunch. Monday's quiet, so he's able to come sit with me and catch up. I used to pop round once a week at least, but his new-ish girlfriend Ebony (who, despite the name, is the whitest person I've ever met) clearly feels uncomfortable around me. She's only 5 years older than me and I think she thought I was a potential threat even after he'd explained who I was. So, it's nice he got moved to manage the Cotham branch; it means I can see him without having to deal with her passive aggressive behaviour.

I tell him about my part in the play.

"Sounds like a devil of a part Carrie," is his reply. Well, I suppose he's entitled to make dad jokes.

I promise to let him know the performance dates as soon as I do, so he can make sure he's off rota for at least one of them. Preferably a different night to whichever Mum and Gran come to. Still too awkward.

He offers me a couple of shifts over the Easter holidays, when some of his student staff will be away. Might be a good idea: I never say no to money and I'll still be riding the train in with Mum each day.

I hang out with a couple of coursemates after the tutorial ends at 4. Typically, Oliver still hasn't conducted his research for his dissertation. He's cutting it fine. Dom and I end up basically telling him what to do, which is probably what he wanted all along.

"Ok, Saphir-Whorf right? So how about you find a load of metaphors then devise pictorial flashcards of them? You can compare students' reactions on a positive-negative axis to their linguistic background. English speakers versus non-native speakers."

"Yeah, yeah," agrees Dom, picking up the thread, "like if the metaphors are really idiosyncratic and counterintuitive, like 'purple patch' or 'in clover' hopefully only those who speak English will respond strongly." I'm glad he's getting it, as Oliver is looking blank. He just needs a 2:2; his Mum will no doubt find him a cushty slot at her agency after he graduates.

"Ok, yeah, great, thanks guys! Will you help me conduct it?"

"Yeah sure. If you get your arse in gear, we can do it before the Easter break." That's only 2 weeks away.

I say goodbye and head off to With Her Wheels to meet Mum. Rather than waiting outside, she's still in the pit when I arrive, doing something to a Nissan.

"Hey Nic!" I call to the receptionist. "Is Georgie going to be long?"

"Hey, Carrie sweetheart," she says, coming out from behind the desk to give me a hug, "good to see you. No, she won't be. Just changing the brake pads for this lady." She indicates the customer waiting. "10 minutes tops."

"Ok, cool." I take my book out to read while I wait; should still give us time to make our train, as long as Mum doesn't mind showering at home.

I've barely turned a page, when Mum comes in to say it's all done and hands the keys over.

"B-b-be with you in ... in a sec Carrie, just let me get... get these overalls off."

"Sure Mum, see you out front."

"You know," she says as we stride down to Redland Green station, "you don't have... have to wait for me Carrie."

"Yeah, I know."

"I'm not going... going to just go to... to a pub or... or an offie if you aren't... aren't with me."

Aren't you?

is what I want to ask, but I bite it down and pinch the skin between my thumb and forefinger. "Yeah, I know. It's just nice to have company."

The train is just pulling in as we cross the bridge, so we have to jog to make it. We manage to grab a pair of seats.