The rain is pouring down in sheets, for the third day in a row. I'm so terribly bored, as my only entertainment for the time being is to watch as the fat drops trace their paths down my dorm room window. With all the rain and the hot humid air, I almost feel as if I was back home in Miami, instead of Tallahassee, the state capital. Since the weather is awful outside, I might as well write a story, since I like writing so much. And about what shall I write? Perhaps an interesting adventure… Oh, I know! I'll tell about the very first days I had away at college.
Who am I? My name is Estelle Heywood, a half Jewish girl born into a patriarch of well-to-do real-estate moguls. I'm a 20 year old junior at FAMU, a nearly all black college in Florida. So what is it like as a white girl to live full-time at an historically black college? Well, it's been interesting, to say the least. But enough with the questions, now. Let me get to my story.
I'm a straight-A student, always have been, and hopefully always will be. My father, though he's clueless about some things, has a strict policy about my grades. It's like his anthem or something, that his only child will be everything that he failed--or just didn't have the need-- to be. My grandfather had been so rich when he died that my father doesn't have to work, but still he chooses to. Anyway, I've heard this my entire life, and by now had become so conditioned that I never, ever made a B. Not one. Before my mother passed away when I was nine, she was pretty much in consensus with my father's ideas about my education.
After my mother died, my father had my grandmother move in to help take care of me. She was nearly puritanical in her belief that little girls private places should stay private. I could see where my father got his domineering attitude from. I didn't really like my grandmother too much, partly because she was nothing like my mother, who I missed so much.
When I first told my father that I wanted to go to FAMU, he nearly flipped his lid. I live in a huge house in Weston, FL, which is an upscale suburb of Miami. He'd have preferred that I went to University of Miami, simply because it's closer to home, and he's heard what happens to kids who go away to college. Never having gone himself, he seemed really worried that some distraction might make my grades slip. I quickly reassured him that I would never let my grades slip for any reason, and this seemed to relax him a bit. I love my dad and all, but being eighteen and finally able to liberate myself from under his and my grandmother's watchful eyes was everything I wanted at that time. I was so excited that I could hardly wait for summer to end.
When the morning finally came for me to leave, I was in a rush. Though it was still dark outside, I was so excited a pin drop could have awakened me. I kissed my father goodbye after he'd dropped me off at the Greyhound bus station and hauled my single carry-on bag onto the bus with me. The rest of my stuff had already been packed in the baggage compartment on the side of the bus. Pretty soon, I was on the road, and little did I know at the time, I was on the road to womanhood. I left Miami a little girl that day, never to return in quite the same way.
Nine hours later when I finally arrived to the campus, I got my dorm assignment and was met by the student assistant, a girl named Jacqui McCullough. Jacqui was a junior at the time, and when I first laid eyes on her I was mystified by her full pouting lips and her big, beautiful brown eyes. Now being under my father's wing meant more than just being an overachiever when it came to schoolwork. After my mother passed, my father felt that it was his duty to protect my "honor", as he called it. That meant that even once I got to high school, no boys, no dating, no nothing. To my dismay, I wasn't even allowed to go to prom. And my pinchpenny grandmother agreed to all this, stating that it would be too expensive for me to go to prom. With all their money, I could have been queen without trying. I think my grandmother disliked me because she disliked my mother, but that is another animal entirely.
So the point is that I was a virgin in every sense of the word. I hadn't even seen anyone else naked, and actually, I didn't want to. I grew up as an only child, and I was raised to think of other peoples' bodies to be as dirty and as nasty as my own. I had no little brother or sister to experiment with, no mother to compare feelings with. I was so conditioned that I didn't even want to listen to my best friend, Holly, when she was gushing to tell me about how she lost her virginity at prom in the hotel bathroom. Later, I made her tell the story. Actually, it was just a little after I got to know Jacqui.
Jacqui was… well, she was just damn beautiful. And still is, I'd bet. I haven't seen her in over half a year, though I did visit her last Thanksgiving instead of going home. Anyway, how can I describe her? I've already let you know about her full lips and brown eyes. She's several inches taller than me. She's got an excellent complexion, milk chocolate-brown like a Hershey bar, a rather large black ass, a flat stomach, and a sinfully tiny waist. I haven't got nearly as much ass as she has, mine's not nearly as round, but still her waist is smaller than mine. She talks in a sort of country bumpkin accent that I find adorable, but that she claims she's trying to get rid of. She's always complaining about finding clothes that fit her strikingly beautiful frame, but I'd just as soon see her naked anyway. But I'm getting ahead of myself. For now, suffice it to say that Jacqui was my first friend at FAMU, and my first black friend, period.
Jacqui helped me find my classes, and since I was so advanced already, we even shared two classes in the afternoon: African-American History, and Calculus. I'm a History major, so I like to get into all kinds of history… it really interested me. The math, well, let's just say it's my best subject. Anyway, Jacqui was really nice to me. Like I said, she helped me find all of my classes, made sure I didn't get lost finding my way to the library, and the dorm, and even introduced me to some of her friends. They were leery about me, but I guess they either figured out I was cool or decided to give me a chance or something. Soon Jacqui and I began hanging out together, and that graduated into us spending most of our time together. Sometimes when we walked around campus together Jacqui would have her arm around my waist, and I thought nothing of it, since Holly and I walked like this, and even hand-in-hand, when we were in high school. Sometimes we got funny stares from people, but I put that down to my being white in such an afro-centric environment.
One afternoon, after classes were over, Jacqui asked me to come over to her room to help her study. I didn't think this was odd, and figured it was probably her math again because she was really struggling with her calculus. Usually we just went to the study hall on the second floor, but still I really thought nothing of it. Once we got to her room, Jacqui surprised me by stripping down to her bra and panties. Shocked, I quickly covered my eyes and turned around.
"What," Jacqui said, chuckling. "Don't you think I'm pretty?"
"Well, of course you're pretty," I replied nervously. "But, um-- what are you getting undressed for? I thought we came to study. Are you going somewhere?"
"We did, silly. And no, I just want to change out of my school clothes, you know, get a little bit more comfortable."
"Um, ok, then do so, by all means. When you're ready, I'll just be in my room," I said, and began to walk out, but Jacqui caught me by linking a finger through one of my belt loops.
Just having her touch me and knowing she was naked sent chills up and down my spine, but not exactly the kind I would have expected. No, this was different, and all too new.
"You don't have to leave," Jacqui said. "This will only take a minute."
"Okay," I said, my back still facing her.
"Why won't you turn around?"
"Because you're… you're naked," I said.
"So? You ain't never seen somebody naked before? We're both girls. You have the same thing I do. I could see if I was a man or something."
"No, I haven't seen anybody naked before," I said.
Jacqui laughed. Just bust out and laughed at me, right in my face. I was so embarrassed, so angry, that I knew I flushed to about the color of a beet just then.
"Don't laugh at me," I said, my voice quavering.
"No…" Jacqui gasped, in between breaths. "It's just so funny!"
I whirled around to face her, my anger helping me to overcome the fact that she was nearly naked in front of me.
"I said don't laugh at me!" I shouted.
