"I am so sorry, I can't do this anymore. You're great...it was great...but I found someone else."
I squint my eyes in the dark, and read the text over and over. My boyfriend Brian, of ten months, has ended our relationship...through a text message. I've been lying in my queen-sized bed all day since he sent it this morning, trying to understand, and trying not to cry. I'm great? I can't be that great if he could so easily drop me for someone else! I feel so disposable. I gave him everything. I even moved into the world's tiniest apartment in Manhattan from Connecticut to be closer to him while he's in Grad School. Tossing my iPhone to the foot of my bed, I grab my pillow out from under my head and cover my face with it. I let out a frustrated moan and try to stifle tears. I hate him. I FUCKING HATE HIM. But then why do I miss him so bad already?
There is a knock on my bedroom door.
"I hope you're awake lazy ass, we're leaving in an hour." My infectiously sweet and sympathetic roommate Jaime says, her voice muffled through the door.
"What...where are we going?" I ask, my face still under my pillow.
"Out. Stop mopping around about Brian. His loss, take a shower and get dressed. I am taking you out."
"I'm not going anywhere," I say softly, but Jaime has supersonic hearing apparently and comes bounding into my room.
"Get the fuck up, crazy. Your lights have been off in here since nine in the morning. It is now nine AT NIGHT. You realize you haven't even gone to the bathroom all day. Why are you upset about this? He's obviously a total dick rag. We are going out tonight! It's a Saturday in July, we live in New York City and we are young! Let's goooo!" Jaime whips the pillow off my face and starts hitting me with it. I can't help but laugh. Her tough love works on me.
"Okay asshole, I'm up. Where are we going?" I ask, as I slip out of my bed and flick on the lights. My sardine-can sized room looks like a bomb went off in it. Jaime navigates around clothing, soda cans and books to the other side of my bed to my bureau and opens it.
"I'm not gonna tell you where, but wear this. You need to look hot tonight." She lays a red satin halter-top I have had for a while, but never worn, on my bed, as well as my tightest pair of dark blue jeans, and a pair of black pumps. She stands in the doorway and bites her lip. I can tell she has something fun planned. That's the great thing about Jaime; she always knows how to have fun. She twirls a piece of her long blonde hair around her freshly manicured red fingernail and looks pointedly at me with her cat-like green eyes. "I have something for you -- one sec," she says quickly and rushes down the hall to her bedroom. She returns with a rectangular pink box, wrapped in a pink velvet bow. I know where it is from immediately.
"Victoria's Secret? Jai, most straight girls don't buy their best friends and roomies lingerie." I quip, smiling a giddy smile. Jaime knows I have a thing for new sexy undies.
"Yeah I know, it was meant to be for your birthday, but I think you should wear it tonight." She smiles at me with a wide smile that exposes all her pearly whites, and I untie the pink velvet bow. I take the top of the box off, and pull away the pink paper wrapping. I gasp. Inside is a full lingerie set, all black lace. There is a black lace push up bra, a frilly black lace pair of panties, a black lace corset with black velvet ties in the back and a black lace garter belt.
"Ahh Jai, thank you so much! It's so pretty!" I jump up and throw my arms around my best friend. She squeezes back and gives my cheek a little peck.
"Maybe you'll get lucky tonight," she says, and walks towards her room to get ready. "I'm serious Becca, one hour we are leaving!" she says, as she closes her door.
I pick up the box of new lingerie and admire it as I lay it out next to my outfit for the night. Fuck Brian. Maybe I will get lucky tonight.
In the shower, I turn the water up extra hot and the tiny bathroom transforms into a steam room. Lathering up my thick brown hair, I hum along to the X-rated rap song blasting through the shower radio. Lil Wayne grunts and groans about a girl "popping her pussy," and I giggle to myself trying to picture what that even means. I look down at my own pussy. Some light brown hairs have started to emerge down there, so I grab my razor and lather up some soap on it. If I am going to get lucky in my new lingerie, I better be prepared. I am careful not to cut my clit as I barber off my peach fuzz. My pussy feels smooth and silky. I glance at the clock on the shower radio and see that I have about forty minutes before Jaime will be screaming for me to get my ass out the door. I think I have a little time...
Spreading my newly shaved pussy, I aim the showerhead down so that the hot water charges against my little clit. The immediate pleasure is overwhelming. I tilt my head back, and feel my wet soapy hair slide down the length of my back. I work my fingers around my clit, softly massaging and tickling it under the water. A quiet but audible moan escapes my lips as the pleasure mounts deep within me. No man has ever pleased me as much as touching myself in the shower. Not even Brian. I feel myself growing unbelievably wet inside, and I stick two fingers in, feeling the warmth and tightness of myself. I am glad the shower radio is on because my moan is a little louder once I have my fingers inside myself. I create suction by dipping my fingers in and out of my pussy under the water, and feel my insides start to clench. I am about to cum. My pussy is so wet, when my fingers dip in to it, it sounds like a boot in mud. I work my fingers in and out, in and out, and gasp as my impending orgasm becomes more tangible. I feel it cumming, I feel it cumming...it is almost there, I go faster and faster into myself and spread myself wider and wider and just when I am about to cum...fucking Jaime bursts through the door.
"Ughh fuck!" I moan, as I quickly remove my fingers out of my pussy and resume lathering my hair.
"WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING IN THE SHOWER??" She yells as she opens the medicine cabinet.
It is moments like this when I wish we both had our own bathroom. I was so close to cumming and now I was just going to be wet and frustrated all night. Dammit!
"I am just washing out the shampoo!" I reply angrily and put my head under the water stream.
"Hurry up, cabs are hard to find around here the later it gets." She takes the mascara she was looking for from the cabinet and leaves, not even bothering to close the bathroom door. I heatedly turn off the water and reach for the fluffy green towel that's lying on the sink. I dry off my face, my long slim arms, my flat stomach (careful not to catch my belly button piercing on the towel) and my lengthy legs. I comb out my knotty dark hair and wrap it up in the towel, walking out of the bathroom naked down the hall to Jaime's room.
"Knock next time!" I shout into her room, and she raises her eyebrows at my nakedness. She is sitting in a blue thong and matching bra at her vanity, slowly stroking mascara up her eyelashes. Her tan body looks almost statuesque, and I can't help but stare at it for a second.
"You know you're totally naked...right?" she says slowly, eyes looking at her reflection in the mirror, but peripherals on me.
"Yes, I'll be ready soon," I say and pad out of her doorway into the bathroom again. As I blow-dry my hair into soft loose waves, I think about Jaime. Her and I met six years ago at Oberlin in the library freshman year, and have been inseparable ever since. She always knew she wanted to move to Manhattan after college, and once I decided to move to Manhattan as well, she conveniently needed a roomie so we moved in together to our apartment on West 62nd. She's been my best friend for six years, and I have never been into girls, but there are moments when I look at her...and I get wet. I've never told her that, nor do I think I would. But there is something indescribably sexy about her that makes me want to try her out. I shake my head in the mirror and laugh. This might just be the "post-break-up-maybe-I-should-become-a-lesbian" voice speaking. I turn the blow dryer off, and open the medicine cabinet. I brush some blush on the apples of my pale cheeks, line the top lid of my eye with black eye-liner, coat my lashes with two layers of mascara and put a subtle shade of pink lipstick called "Peach Supreme" on. I pucker up in the mirror and smile at my reflection. With my made-up face and my blown out, Farrah Fawcett hair, I look sexy tonight. I hurry into my room, slip on my new lacey black panties and bra, put on the satin red halter top, squeeze into my tight jeans and step into my black pumps. I look at myself in my full-length mirror and blush. I am DEFINITELY getting lucky tonight. I spray some Hypnotic Poison Dior perfume on my neck, in my hair and on my wrist, grab my clutch and turn out the lights.