My hand was heavy on the doorknob as I felt it turn. I felt I had raised the dead as I walked through the fence gate it rattled so, but I wanted this in the worst way and all my anxiety would not make me turn back to my car now.
I felt as if She was watching me, needing to know if I obeyed every direction. I looked around the flower garden, nothing moved.
The door opened and I smelled something unusual, pretty, light and angel-like. The light above the puter was on...I giggled at the tiny kitty holding the edge.
I looked about and found the candle as She had said. It was in plain view but I was so nervous, I could have walked on it and not noticed.
I bent down for on the floor, next to the candle, was a note. "Look in the box on the desk, put it on, then proceed." I had seen the box but now quickly opened it and placed it upon my neck. The next door was ajar so I opened it expecting it to squeak. Another candle and note, which read "Remove all your outer clothing, hang them on the hanger, then assume nadu position." I looked around for a hanger and caught site of it. My mind was racing...which was nadu? Had I forgotten already? I took off my blouse, my skirt as I tried to remember the words, hung them carefully as I slowly thought it through.... on my knees, thighs spread, slightly back on my heels, back straight, hands on my thighs with palms up, head up ...did I remember correctly? I hoped She would forgive me if I messed up.
I waited; it seemed like hours, was it? Or was it only moments?
My eyes drifted closed as my heart raced with anticipation...I heard a noise and opened my eyes like a startled bunny....She was not there.
I quieted myself, She had told me when She had first learned that when She waited for Master in the darkness. So I tried, tried to focus on Her, center and focus myself, thinking about service and obedience.
My face swept off to the right slightly as if drawn by a magnet, the softness, the warmth....my heart stopped as I realized it was Her.
My lily was suddenly wet, my heart raced faster as She whispered.
I felt a rush to my wetness as Her fingers pressed into my swollen lily. My muscles cramped around Her fingers as I gripped at Her, I wanted more. Her fingers in my hair, slowly filtering through, she pulled my head back and kissed me on my lips. She wouldn't let go as she felt my lips with Her tongue, raped my lips with Hers, forcing my mouth open and thrusting her tongue into my mouth as Her fingers pushed harder into my lily.