New entry:
At school most of the girls go to church together and are very modest, yet they talk way slutty. So that is funny why many of them tend to avoid undressing in front of each other without covering up. Sue doesn't go to church, and maybe that's why she openly strips in front of me and showers totally nude. I've started to shower totally nude next to Sue as she showers. But some girls will shower with bra and panties on and just have wet undies under their clothes the rest of the day. So if they are like me, I only have cotton bras and panties, and they stay wet most of the day. All this gave me an idea that might get mom to buy me pretty matching bra and panties... I'll have to think about it more.
New entry:
Today, I was watching the other girls in the shower and the ones who wear their undies while showering wear nylon, satin or rayon material because they will dry faster then cotton. So I used that to talk with mom, to see if I could get her to buy me pretty panties and bras. I said, "mom, I need thin silky, or rayon soft panties" she asked why- I told her I have been watching the other girls what they wear pretty undies and how fast their panties dry" I never got a chance to explain what I was talking about and how we take showers with them on. All she probably heard was "I'm looking at other girls changing and they are pretty in there underwear" Then something about panties being wet... well that's not what I was talking about, but mom didn't hear that. Mom gave me a lecture of the lifetime on how wrong it is for girls to like girls, and I have to save myself to marry a worthy man.
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New entry which now will merge with the years to come without breaks:
I'm on the school swim team and love being with the team and hanging with the girls, but I find myself looking more and more at them as they change, and as we swim. I know someone is going to notice I look at them, but now because of the lecture mom gave me, I now felt wrong for the times I viewed Sue and the other girls undressing. For all the times I sneaked a peek at her totally naked, sitting on the bench, as she lifted her leg to put her pretty panties on and I got an eye full of her pink girl parts covered around it with red pubic hair.
After that I tried to stop looking but I would still see at times. I stopped talking to her because I was scared of my thoughts, and I knew I should focus on boys. I never had a desire to date a boy, but felt I had to hang out with and around boys cause it was more easy to do that then have girlfriends to do stuff with. Plus with me being more of a tomboy, I got along well with boys.
I guess consequences happen when you are nice to boys. Lots of boys would come into work, I'm wearing makeup and padded bras to make my tits look bigger. I would be visited by a lot of boys. One of them was older and I knew him from when he would come in with his grandma, he's about 26 but cute and funny. He is 7 years older, and I've been to his house because I had delivered there many times. He flirted a lot and I was being nice back to him as I was with everyone who came in. I loved his grandma and she always talked about her apple pies.
One day Tyrone invited me over for grandma's apple pie, so after work I went over, but grandma wasn't there. I didn't even see any pie but Tyrone insisted that I needed to relax and said I needed a massage. He said he knew what he was doing and took classes on how to give massages. He rubbed my back and it felt good, so I started to do what he asked me to do. He got me to lay down and massage my back then told me I needed to take off my shirt. I was naïve and took it off but still had on my bra. Next I knew he was pulling my jeans and panties off. Yet he covered me with a sheet, and placed a hot towel over my head. He was rubbing my back then asked me to roll over, I was totally naked at this point, other then just the sheet over me, and the towel over my face. I could feel him massaging my legs but felt his hand slide up between my legs and touch me around my pubic hairs. I could see somewhat where the towel wasn't covering by my nose. I saw that he had gotten naked, and I saw his huge cock, so huge it scared me, then he started to lick my pussy and fondle my tits. I felt nothing sexually from it and I knew I liked girls, but this was still 1975 and lesbians are not talked about in our small religious town. I was so scared I asked for fresh hot towels.
As he went to get them I grabbed my clothes and ran out the door naked trying to dress myself as I was running. I never told anyone and deep inside me I hated boys even more then before. But I knew as I was taught in church and in the home that I was to marry a man. I had more and more thoughts about girls but knew my thoughts and desires were wrong and a sin. I was on the swim team and loved watching the other girls, but could never slip and let it be known that I like girls. But every chance I got I would take to watch them undress. But reminded myself that it's a sin and needed to focus on being with boys.
I found myself and kinda forced myself to hang with boys to not bring suspension. Later I started to date boys and in one of my college classes, I found a nice boy who I knew would never hurt me and he was raised with strict religious parents as I was and with good morals, Brent is a good man and fun to be around. We ended up getting married and having 4 boys. After having children and gaining weight, my body is not what it once was, my tits now are larger and sag so bad, my tummy is not the tight firm abs it once was. How time and age can be cruel. Today I still have thoughts of girls but I can never bring myself to tell him, because I know his views and upbringing on the whole idea.
Now we have been married for 38 years, our boys are grown up, and married and I like to sneak peeks when I can at other women, even at times I like watching porn. I still can not bring myself to telling Brent that I have always been attracted to women, and would love to be with one or have one in our relationship. So we keep living this lie until recently, when Brent and I found this cave in Logan Canyon, in an area hard to get to, and so secluded no one could find it except by accident as we did while hiking. This cave has no signs of ever being explored and you have to repeal down the face of a cliff covered by blind spots. As Brent and I entered the cave, our flashlights didn't give much light so we felt with our hands in the dark touching the walls, and shuffling our feet, the tunnel turned deep deep inside. As we went around what felt to be a bend in the tunnel we could see light, but this light was not from any opening, it was not from a flashlight or a burning torch. The light was from what appeared to be millions of little dots on the wall that looked like stars and constellations. We found ourselves in a large camber and we could see the dots all around us gave the impression they were floating on the walks of the chamber.
All of a sudden one of the stars appeared to be shooting across the cave wall, I said to Brent; "Hey look, it's a shooting star, I'm going to make a wish." So silently, I wish that I could have a sexy body again, and that Brent would desire to touch firm breasts and pussy and more. Just as I made my wish, the room filled with brightness as if it had exploded. I turned to Brent, but couldn't see him, yet my eyes started to adjust from the brightness. Now, I could see I was in a room and the figure of someone seated, but it didn't look like Brent. As my eyes cleared more I realized I was no longer in the cave, but it looked like a locker room and someone sitting there with one leg up on the bench. I gained better focus and saw I was looking at Susan, and she was naked, with a leg up ready to put her foot in her panties and a view of her pink pussy and red pubes.
After witnessing this I quickly touched my tits, and felt small tits again. With my other hand I reached down and felt my naked body touching my thin pubic hairs over my vulva. I didn't understand what happened or what year it was, or even if this was a dream but right now I didn't care, I was in my sexy beautiful young body and I wasted no time as I asked, "Sue, would you go shopping with me to buy soft sexy underwear, saying this as I use my grand contagious smile, she replied "I thought you would never ask" reaching her hand out for mine to help her stand up as we gave each other a deep and lasting kiss.
The end.
