We sit ourselves up, once again forming a little triangle on the bathroom floor. Claire is shivering slightly.
"Wow.. I never felt anything.. like this before."
"I didn't even know I that my body could do this!" Megan adds.
"Exactly. But also the emotional side of it. Being here.. being in this.. with you."
"I can't believe we have been going together for so long without knowing this."
"So how are you feeling now?" I ask. Maybe I am a bit less surprised than the others, having already had some time to appreciate my true sexuality.
"I feel.. good. Great. How exactly do you mean?" Claire answers.
"I guess I mean, are you feeling relaxed and satisfied, or are you feeling excited and hungry for more?" I say with a naughty smile.
Claire ponders a bit.
"The last part, I think."
"What about you, Meg?"
"Definitely ready for more. What about yourself?"
"You know, I thought that my needs were really thoroughly satisfied after this weekend with Jennie. But now I feel the rush starting all over again."
"So what should we do?"
"I suggest that we slip into the bedroom. Jennie's bed is big enough for three persons."
"How do you know?"
"You can learn about that soon enough. Right now I just want to focus on being with you!"
I get myself up, grabs the towel, already semi-dry after our tumbling on the bathroom floor. I toss it on to Megan. Claire gets up, dries herself quickly with her own towel. Then they follow me hesitantly into the bedroom.
The unmade bed with its tousled stained sheets, is stretching itself invitingly before us. We still have this trembling electric tension between us, yet none of us dare to take the initiative. After a brief, awkward silence, Claire sets her eyes on the handcuffs still lying on the bed, right next to the bed post. I silently curse myself for not whisking them away in time. Now it gets more complicated. She sits down on the edge of the mattress, picks up the handcuffs, fingers the shiny steel.
"Curious?" I ask.
"Maybe!"
"It was not my impression that you liked it on Friday?"
"How do you mean?"
"When we got arrested."
"Come on, Rachel! The arrest was a real thing, not some erotic game! I can't imagine how it could turn you on. I was just feeling so ashamed!"
"Why? We hadn't done anything."
"We got arrested by the police!"
"And they let us go."
Claire hesitates for a moment.
"Rachel, I was brought up to be ashamed. Of all kinds of things. Of standing out. Of not standing out. Of making mistakes. Of being too perfect. If you ask my parents, putting yourself in a situation where the police would arrest you is a first-rate embarrassment, no matter what you actually did! I can't believe how you could even think about sex in that situation."
The conversation I had with Jennie yesterday morning comes back to me.
"I think I needed it to be a real thing. I don't think I could have entered a game like this. It would just have felt ridiculous."
"Arh Rachel, you are so overly correct and serious! Even too serious to feel your own desires."
"I was. Not so much anymore."
She continues to inspect the handcuffs, the locking mechanism, the chain. Megan somehow seems uneasy about it.
"So you want to get handcuffed and spanked to get rid of this shame that you feel?" she asks. I was having the same thought. Not sure it sounds so healthy.
"I thought that at the beginning. Maybe it's partly true. But it is more than that. This physical reaction I feel when I think or read about BDSM stuff. It goes much deeper than some conscious intellectual thing like shame."
"But why does it turn you on?" Megan is looking back and forth between us.
"I don't know. Why does anything turn you on? I mean, from an evolutionary perspective, you should be turned on by some able-bodied man who could give you competitive offspring. But even heteros don't THINK like that, they just FEEL it. And we are attracted to each other, and it makes no evolutionary sense that I know of, and we have not chosen it, we just feel like that."
"But do you feel ashamed then, of having these thoughts?" I ask, maybe because I am still arguing with a mental image of my mother somewhere.
"Yes, kind of. Luckily nobody knows it except for you. And at least one of you is also into it. So I feel a bit home safe here."
"So shame is about other people knowing?"
"Maybe. At least if you ask my mother."
"I am asking you."
"I am my mother's daughter."
Somehow I am in a teasing mode, but also curious.
"Your mother's daughter is sitting naked and horny in a strange woman's bed, without the knowledge of said woman. But you don't feel ashamed about that?"
"Should I?"
"I don't know?"
She puts up a naughty little smile.
"Perhaps I should!"
She turns over to lie flat on her belly, her gorgeous buttocks arching invitingly towards us. She puts her arms behind her back, and tilts her head backwards. Her cheeks are very red.
"Put them on me!" she whispers.
"Claire.." Megan begins to protest, but it sticks in her throat. Claire's excitement is evident to both of us. Who are we to speak up against this?
I pick up the handcuffs, carefully put the metal around her left wrist, tighten the cold sharp metal around her soft warm flesh. And then the right wrist. I hear her breath picking up, feel a trembling all through her body, as she tries to separate her wrists, probe the restraint of the chain. I register her excitement, and I recognize it, feel it spilling over into me. At the same time I wish that Jennie was here. I don't really want Claire to submit to me. I want to be in the submission with her.