PAM:
She was perfect. Bottle blonde with a round, smiley face, and a body to die for...full-chest and a big ass and thighs that always drew looks in her various smart-casual chinos, skirts, and Friday jeans. She looked like she should be doing make-up tutorials, or videos about being a mid-size influencer, rather than rotting away in an accounting firm. Emily's story went like this: she broke up with her boyfriend at the end of undergrad and spent the intervening years living a monastic lifestyle, dedicating herself to her graduate studies. The years paid off. Before she knew it, she'd blossomed into a sexy, young CPA (how many times has that ever been said?) Then she moved to a new city for her first big girl job. She was in her mid-20s, knew no one, and was desperate to finally live a life. Like I said, perfect.
She dumped all of this information during our first off-site lunch, about a month after she started in my office. She was so starved for connection that the words just came pouring out.
"I've been in your shoes, Emily. It's scary," I said. "But it's important to spread your wings and expand your horizons. There's nothing inherently wrong with being born and dying in the same place, but shouldn't it be something you choose rather than something you do by default?"
"Oh my God, Pam. It's like you're reading my mind. Like, I always thought that maybe someday I'd end up back in my hometown, but for now I want to see something else. I wanted to take a big leap," she said, raking the remaining bits of lettuce on her plate with her fork. "But to be honest, it can get pretty lonely."
"You should come out with me sometime. Me and Melody from the office get Friday margaritas with our friend, Tiff. We're a group of middle-aged broads but we have fun. A little too much fun, sometimes."
"I never have plans. I'd love to go sometime...as long as I'm not intruding."
"Nonsense. Next time we have a girls' night, I'll give you call."
Two weeks later, Melody, Tiff and I were parked outside the accounting office.
"Ugghh, Pam, it's been so long since we had a good one. Natalie moved like a year and a half ago," Tiff whined.
"All the more reason to make sure this goes well."
"Here she comes."
"Hey girlie!"
Emily had exited the office and was approaching the car, waving to us. She wore a pair of high waisted jeans that displayed her beautiful hips and ass so well I had to remind myself not to stare.
"That fucking body," Melody whimpered.
Tiff got out of the backseat of the car and extended her hand to Emily.
"Emily, this is my good friend Tiff. She's an incredible real estate agent."
"It's a pleasure, Emily."
Tiff was a gym rat with a pretty face and a short, layered haircut that was, by then, a little dated. Still, it suited her, reading as somewhere between cosmopolitan and down-to-earth, as if she could have had any hairstyle in the world and chose this one in particular. Altogether she looked like the Platonic ideal of a real estate agent.
"Emily, you've got a great grip. Do you work out," Tiff said, releasing her hand.
"I used to be very serious about it. I'm looking to get back into it, though."
"Why don't we take two cars? I'll drive mine. Tiff, do you want to drive yours too?"
"Why not? Weather's nice. I'm gonna take the top down. Emily, you wanna ride with me? Fastest way to avoid strangers is to make friends."
"Sure!"
Tiff walked Emily over to the silver convertible, helped her climb into the seat, then shut the passenger door behind her. The car started, and as the top retracted I had to admire the look of pure wonder on Emily's face. So non-worldly was she that a German engineered convertible inspired awe in her. She deserved more. And Tiff was the right woman to give it to her.
"Great idea having Tiff open," Melody said, as if reading my mind.
"She's good at it."
Tiff and Emily beat us to the restaurant. As we parked the car, I looked over at Tiff a few spaces away. They were taking a selfie together, Tiff leaning over the gearshift towards Emily, her arm draped over the girl's shoulder.
"What should the caption be?" Tiff said.
"How about, 'here's to new friends!'"
"That's perfect," Tiff purred.
We were seated in our regular booth, Melody and I on one side, and Emily on the other, with her new best friend. Tiff ordered us a pitcher of lime margaritas on the rocks, with salt on the rim, same as every Friday. It arrived quickly and we poured ourselves four tall glasses, clinking them together in a celebratory cheers.
"So, Em. You dating anybody?" Tiff said, suddenly.
Emily choked on the sip of margarita.
"Not currently. You know, I just moved here and even before that I wasn't really 'in the game,' so to speak."
"Emily, that's a crime! With that face and that body...it's a crime not to be seeing someone."
Emily blushed.
"You all know this area better than I do. What're the men like?"
Tiff suppressed a laugh.
"You'd have to ask somebody else about that. That's not really my area of interest."
Emily's eyes flickered, processing the implications of Tiff's statement.
"And I've been married for 19 years. Can't help you there." Melody added.
"I'm divorced. Basically, we're the three wrong women to ask about meeting men," I said.
Everybody erupted in laughter. Tiff leaned on Emily, resting her head on the girl's shoulder for a moment. This did not go unnoticed by Emily, though she said nothing.
We finished the first pitcher in no time, quickly ordering another. As we drank, Melody told us stories about stupid things that her husband Gary had done, while I regaled the table with my favorite anecdotes about the loveable dolts at our firm. The mood was high as we finished our drinks. Eventually the conversation turned to the strangest things Tiff had seen while staging houses.
"The walk-in closet of the primary bedroom is vital. VITAL. A buyer has to be able to envision themself in the space--in reality they need to be envisioning their ideal selves--not who they are, but who they want to be. So we have to make sure the walk-in is spic and span," Tiff said, pausing to look Emily in the eyes. "So I'm re-staging a stack of folded jeans and this black thing comes flopping. At first I think it's a bat, but it flops on the floor of the closet. I pick it up and realize it's a latex bondage mask."