THE RIPPLING WATERS
Still grieving over the death of her sister, Louise has become best friends with her co-worker at the bank, Sigrid Fønsmark. She is well aware of Sigrid's sexual orientation and takes steps to prevent a friendship turning into something else. A late night encounter that nearly tips them over the edge merely strengthens her resolve to maintain the friendship. Sigrid's sisters step in to give their support and slowly Louise begins to cross into another world as she begins to change.
*
Cast a stone into a still pond and the ripples move outwards to the edge of the pond and Sigrid's confession and my 'non gay' kiss had certainly sent out ripples. It had happened on Saturday the 23rd of May, almost four months to the day since Cathy passed away. By that stage many of my friends who'd dropped in for a visit or called me on the phone had stopped, it's a natural part of human society. Once people can see you're not about to fall into a black depression they will tend to pull back, but of course that left a vacuum. Cathy and I had been so close for so many years that when my friends invited me over for dinner or a barbecue it was usually a joint invitation if she was living with me at the time.
Now that she was gone I know many felt difficult having me around because of the elephant in the room, most people don't know how to deal with death in general, let alone the death of someone's sister. But nature abhors a vacuum and where my friends withdrew to their own families and worlds, my circle of friends now included Sigrid and her family. There had been a temporary hitch after our close call in May, but within a week of that happening I found myself drawn further into the Fønsmark world. I was already a familiar face by that stage due to Sigrid's habit of taking me to see one of her sisters for the night, but now they began readjusting their social calendars to include me, not as Sigrid's 'partner' but simply because they liked me.
One of the first to make her move was Caroline, she's three years younger than me and lived a mere five minutes drive away in Ruskin Park Drive, on the outskirts of Kilsyth.
Back in those days, Caroline ran a course in fabric construction on a Tuesday night out at Croydon High, her students were Year Twelve students looking to get into fabric design at TAFE and younger mothers. It was initially just a casual course but in February 1998, the Education department got involved and it became an accredited course,
Introduction to Fabric Construction,
the credits could be added to any TAFE college. Caroline taught fabric design out at Box Hill TAFE three days a week and made outfits for clients on the other days.
I'd actually professed an interest in fabric design back in March when Sigrid and I were sitting in Caroline's sewing room one night, but hadn't actually made any inquiries about it yet. However, after my 'non gay' kiss, Caroline dropped in on me with her usual, "saw your light on, thought I'd drop in." This was a week after that incident with Sigrid and after chatting about the weather, work and her course at Croydon High she asked if I'd like to come along.
"I mean the course was fully booked but one of the women dropped out because she's just about to drop her second child, so there's a spare slot."
"How much will it cost?"
"Don't worry about the cost," she patted my hand gently, "it's on me."
I opened my mouth to protest and then shut it again. I'd learned enough about the Fønsmarks by then to know they were generous to a fault. I meekly agreed and that next Tuesday, the 2nd of June, she picked me up and took me out to Croydon High for that first lesson.
That first night after the course she just dropped me off and left me to it but the second Tuesday night she came in for a coffee and that became the routine for the next eight weeks. Caroline is a style guru and over cups of coffee I developed a new interest, fashion design. She's an amazingly talented woman. Caroline was initially self taught in fashion design. Her first outfit was a dress, she actually bought the dress from an op-shop for a few dollars and then pulled it apart into its different components and cut her pattern from the panels and made herself a new dress.
"I did it in white satin and that's the original before I took it apart," she turned the page to show a black dress in the same style, "the one I made still fits me too."
Out of that course and those coffee sessions came a desire to clean up my wardrobe and add more outfits to it, one of the first outfits was one I made at the course, a jumpsuit with billowing harem pants and a low cut, button down bodice. It was a garment I'd picked out of her big book, it literally is a big book of designs and as was typical for me, I cut the material to fit someone a size smaller than me, which led to the desire to lose weight. I'd put on a few kilos since Cathy's death and that's where Elke stepped in.
We'd started going to the gym twice a week, the gym was in Bayswater North and she would pick me up on Mondays and Wednesdays and after a workout session on the Monday we'd walk across the road to the football ground and do a few laps around the oval. The Wednesdays were out of the question because of football training and what woman wants to run laps while guys whistle at her? On the Wednesdays we would jump in the car and drive to the squash courts in Bayswater and play squash for an hour or so before jumping into the shower. The weight soon dropped off and I was soon able to get back into my favourite jeans!
These two women became firm friends of mine and still are today, even though technically they're my sisters in law. Elke back then reminded me so much of Cathy, she was just as adventurous and outgoing. She loved outdoor activities, she wanted to take me rock climbing, bungee jumping and we even talked about doing a parachute course.
Looking back with the benefits of hindsight I can see that those two women were instrumental in helping me make the crossing. I frequently got changed in front of Caroline on a Tuesday night when discussing fashion and what suited me, I never thought twice about it. I mean she was in a relationship with Mark anyway, but I would have felt funny changing in front of Sigrid because of the obvious implications.
With Elke, we would take a shower twice a week after our workouts, so I saw her naked body many times and she had a hot body back then. She's very athletic and if she hadn't been a cop she could easily have been a model. Elke actually did enter a modelling competition when she was seventeen and had the choice of a modelling career or enrolling in the Police Academy. Back then she was just bisexual but tending to move more towards women. I only found that out after the first month when it just came out in the shower room at the gym.
"I'm still undecided," she dragged the towel over her back, "I mean I like the hardness of a man but I also like the softness of a woman."
She was looking at me in the mirror as she said that and a couple of months ago I might have covered myself up because I was standing there stark naked but I merely shrugged and picked up my panties.
"I'm sure you'll work it out, you're young enough and at least you've got the option and dildos can be pretty hard too.
"I know," she grinned.
But by far the biggest influence on my life about that time was Agnetha. She's a good eight years older than me and became very much the big sister I'd never had. I'd always been the big sister and the only older female member in my family was mum, and she and I were still skirting around each other like gladiators.
Agnetha is a doctor, mother and loving wife to Robbie. To see the way that family operated when I was there was an eye opener. My mother's attempts at affection were very infrequent, clumsy and forced. Agnetha in contrast, lavished praise on her three children and took an active part in their lives and not in the interfering way of my mother, but she opened herself up to their ideas, listened to their music, even when it was plainly not to her taste and in general let it be known that her children were the centre of her life.
By nature, Agnetha is warm, gentle and fiercely loyal. If she calls you her friend, she actually means it. My visits to the Sutherland household were usually limited to Sunday night dinners but occasionally she'd call and ask if I could babysit when her eldest was at his girlfriend's place and I was only too willing to help. Agnetha is also extremely intelligent and very knowledgeable about women's issues and in particular gay issues. That last subject was one she took to heart when Sigrid first came out.
"I wanted to understand it more completely, it was foreign to me but the more I read and the more gay people I talked to, the more I began to understand but at first it was like walking through a minefield. I know I accidentally upset some gay people."
And where was Sigrid for those nine weeks?
