My heart raced while my mind struggled to catch up. It couldn't be him. I watched as my boyfriend plowed some girl in his living room. I watched his face-that stupid face that he made that drove me nuts when I was the one he was fucking. It was all twisted up as he snarled like he thought he was some badass god of fucking. Really it just made him look pathetic, like he was trying way too hard. Yep. That was him. The last 6 months of my life. Son of a bitch. She wasn't even that cute!
I wiped the tears from my eyes as I ran back to my car, then I tore out of there, my tires squealing behind me. On instinct I started to drive home before I realized it wasn't an option. My parents would be home, probably sitting in the living room watching TV right now. There was no way I could let them see me like this. I had nowhere to go. Another bout of sobs wracked through me as I reached for my cell phone. I called the only person I'd always been able to rely on.
"Hello?"
"Maggie?" My voice sounded weak and I hated it.
"Chrissy? What's wrong?"
I sniffled. I couldn't find the words to tell her just yet. "Are you home? Can I come over?"
"I'm at the store but I can be home in like 15 minutes."
"Ok."
She hesitated. "Can I get you anything while I'm here? Maybe some ice cream?"
I smiled through my tears. She knew me so well. "Black raspberry chip, please. And another half-gallon for yourself."
Maggie laughed. She had this sweet little giggle that always made me smile. "I'll be there soon, hon," she promised softly.
When I got to her apartment, Maggie's car wasn't in the lot so I sat on the steps and waited for her. The tears weren't so heavy now and I pulled out my phone to text my asshole of a soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. I found his name in my contacts and stared at the screen. I wanted to text him something perfect. It had to be the right amount of aloof, snark, gotcha, and fuck off. But all I could think was why? Had I done something? Had I not done something? I thought he was different. I thought he could make me happy. Instead he went and reminded me why I'd been chronically single for so long.
I still hadn't thought of anything to say when Maggie's car pulled in so I gave up and pocketed my phone. She bounded toward me with two bags and I grabbed one as she pulled me into a hug. I held her and fought off the tears that threatened to return.
"You ok?" she softly spoke in my ear.
"No," I answered honestly. "But can we go inside to talk about it?"
Once we were inside, Maggie walked straight to the kitchen, then emerged with the ice cream and two spoons. There were no bowls; this was a straight-out-of-the-carton kind of night.
"Can we watch something for a little bit?" I asked.
"What do you want to watch?"
I thought about it. My go-to was usually romantic comedy, but that sure as hell wasn't happening tonight.
"Something scary," I answered. "I want to watch happy people die."
Maggie raised her eyebrows but didn't respond. She pulled something off the shelf and put it in the DVD player. I didn't really care what it was. We'd watched most of her movies together and she knew what I liked.
Maggie sat beside me on the couch and we dug in as the movie began to play.
It wasn't five minutes into the movie before I spoke. "Mike is cheating on me."
Maggie looked at me. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Are you sure?"
I nodded. "When I say he is cheating on me, present tense, I mean literally right now, this very second, he's fucking some blonde on his couch. He said he couldn't go out tonight because he was sick so I stopped by to check on him on my way home from work. Unless she has a magical healing pussy, I'm pretty sure he's a lying sack of shit."
Maggie didn't say anything. Sometimes there was nothing to say, so she just listened.
"It's not like I was in love with him," I continued. "I don't even think I'm upset at losing him in particular. It's just..." I struggled to fight back the tears, but they came anyway and my voice cracked as I spoke. "Why doesn't anyone love me? Ever?"
"Oh, honey." Maggie grabbed the ice cream from me and placed it on the table before wrapping me in her arms. She held me as I sobbed into her shoulder. "Just because Mike is a scumbag doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. He didn't deserve you."
"No," I shook my head, still clinging to my best friend. "Because it's not just him. Everyone leaves me. Men hate me."
"Men are idiots," Maggie responded fiercely.
She wiped a tear from my cheek "Look at me." I sniffled before glancing up.
She was so cute when she was protective. Her messy black curls stuck out at all ends of her ponytail. Her brown eyes were intense, yet loving. She had half a dozen tattoos and several piercings that made her look like a gorgeous badass, though some of the ink was humorous so it was evident she didn't take herself too seriously. Sometimes next to her I felt so plain. My auburn hair was wavy on the best of days, but usually was so frizzy and unruly I just threw it up in a bun. My green eyes were pretty enough, and I had a decent smile but I just didn't really feel like I stood out.
Looking into Maggie's eyes now I wished for probably the billionth time during the course of our relationship that she'd see me as more than a friend. Maggie was bisexual but I'd always gotten the feeling that she preferred men since she always had a boyfriend. She never stayed single long enough for me to really test the waters. I had always been curious about girls, but never liked one well enough to actually do anything about it. It would probably have been bad for our friendship anyway, and I couldn't bear to risk losing her. But nobody else really got me the way she did.
"Christina Marie, you are an amazing woman. You're crazy smart, you're funny, loyal, kind, and you're fucking beautiful!" She reached out and tucked a loose hair behind my ear. "Anyone would be lucky have you. You're the most lovable person I've ever known."