Sleeping didn't seem to help Cathy in her quest to win Katrina's heart. She spent the night tossing and turning, visions of Katrina completely consuming her every thought. It took every ounce of energy Cathy could muster just to convince herself to get out her bed once morning finally arrived. She stood in the shower still trying to come up some brilliant approach to take with Katrina...a magical string of words that would somehow compel her to rethink her decision.
It seemed, though, the more she thought over the situation, the more completely befuddled she became. Part of her wanted to jump in her car and go straight to Katrina for a face-to-face discussion, while the other part was terrified of saying or doing anything that might end in driving Katrina even further away.
Sitting down at her computer, she began typing a message, feeling that maybe this was the best way to break the proverbial ice that seemed to have formed between them. "Damn!" she said, suddenly. "I almost got her to move in with me and now I'm sending her an email? What is the matter with me?" she wondered aloud, all too aware that there was no one nearby who would answer.
She paced about the room, struggling against what should have seemed to be the easiest, most logical conclusion. In the depths of her heart and in the soul of her mind, she knew she must speak openly and honestly with Katrina. She also knew that the only thing keeping her from doing just that was pure, unadulterated fear; not just the fear of losing Katrina, but the fear of being hurt...again. With great trepidation, Cathy picked up the phone and slowly dialed Katrina's number.
"Hello?" Katrina answered, with the same heaviness in her voice that Cathy had heard in the message she'd left. Cathy hated hearing that in her voice, a voice that was usually so chipper and full of life.
"Hi, Kat, it's me," Cathy replied, "I got your message, and I think we need to talk."
Katrina let a small sigh escape before saying, "Yes, I owe you that much. It's just that..."
Cathy stopped her there, "No Kat, not on the phone," she managed to utter with a noticeable tremble in her voice. She paused for a moment and tried to regain her composure, "Can we meet at the coffeehouse?" she asked, hopefully.
After a brief pause, Katrina answered, "Ok. I can meet you there at seven tonight. Will that work?"
"Seven it is," Cathy answered, "I'll see you then. Bye." She needed the conversation to stop there. Any more and she was sure to lose what little composure she had left.
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The day seemed to drag for Katrina. She wanted to give Cathy some explanation, but after hearing her voice earlier that morning, she became filled with nothing but dread, which soon changed to an emptiness that she couldn't fathom. She heard the slight tremble in Cathy's voice and it pained her knowing her words were the cause of it. Over the previous months, she had allowed herself to grow closer than she ever had to a lover. She always held a little of herself in reserve, so to speak, and had never fully given her heart to anyone.
As the day continued to drag, Katrina replayed some moments from the previous six months. She recalled the time Cathy had surprised her with a weekend trip to the mountains and all of the thoughtful considerations Cathy had made with her in mind. Katrina never liked the idea of camping, unless it meant pitching a tent inside a suite in a nice hotel. Cathy had rented a fully furnished cabin for the two of them and took special care to have all the amenities that she knew Katrina would need in order to feel relaxed and comfortable.