"It's a boob cactus in a boob pot! Isn't that funny?" I reached out to take the little potted plant from Margo's outstretched hands. It was indeed pretty funny. The tall cactus was covered in bumps that did look remarkably like little boobs, and the artfully made ceramic pot sported a spectacular pair of tits to fit the theme.
"Oh my god, this is great!" I enthused, turning the pot around in my hands to admire all the little details. "Where did you even get this?"
"The cactus is from that nursery that I keep trying to get you to go to, and my friend Cece made the pot," she explained, watching me examine the plant with a smile.
"Thank you, I love it. It's hilarious," I said, leaning in to give her a hug. Margo and I have had a tradition of giving each other dumb, bawdy gag gifts every Christmas since we were roommates in college. Even though we had both graduated by now, we were still living together and the tradition was still going strong.
"I knew you would," she said with a warm smile that made my heart skip a beat. "Ok, my turn."
I carefully set the pot down on the coffee table while Margo wiggled in her seat, giddy with the anticipation of her present. A stab of nerves coursed through me as I picked up the box that held her gift, wondering if I was going too far. This probably wasn't a typical gift to receive from your roommate, but I had a good feeling that she was gonna get a kick out of it. Anyway, it was too late to back out now.
"Ooh, big box!" She said excitedly, taking it from me and giving it a little shake. It rattled slightly. Part of me wanted to grab the box right back and get rid of it so things wouldn't be weird between us if she didn't like it, but I figured that would also make things weird. She ripped off the newspaper wrapping and lifted the lid. Her face lit up with a slightly confused grin.
"Candy canes!" She exclaimed, pulling one out of the pile in the box. She unwrapped the tip and sucked on it, cheeks caving in and glossy pink lips pursing around it. I hoped to god she wouldn't notice the blush that was forming in my cheeks.
"I know they're your favorite Christmas candy, so I got you the biggest one I could find." She cocked her head and looked back in the box, digging deeper in the pile. Her eyes widened when she saw the huge, thick candy cane, and she lifted it out. When the silicone wobbled slightly in her grasp, her eyes widened even further, wider than I thought humanly possible. A burst of laughter escaped her lips, the forgotten candy cane in her mouth falling into her lap.
"Oh my god, is this a dildo?" she asked in between giggles, waving it up and down so the tip jiggled. A wave of relief washed over me, and I let out a breathless chuckle. Thank god she didn't think it was weird. Maybe it wasn't actually that weird, and my judgement was just clouded by the fact that I was hopelessly in love with her. No, it was a pretty weird gift, but so was a tit cactus.
"Yeah," I replied, watching her fingers play with the tip. I shifted slightly in my seat. "I saw it online and I knew I had to buy it for you since you're such a candy cane addict. Isn't it great?" She looked back up at me, her face cracking into a huge smile.
"Oh my god, it's so funny. I love it!" She suddenly leaned forward and threw her arms around me in a hug. I felt the dildo that was still in her hands bump against my back. "Thanks, Noel." I hugged her back, forcefully not thinking about the way her breasts were pressed against me.
"No problem, I'm glad you like it. I was worried that you'd be weirded out." She pulled away and examined the dildo again, occasionally slipping into another fit of giggles.
"Oh please, you know I'm not that sensitive." She jiggled it again, a big dumb grin on her face. "I think my maturity level is the real problem here."
"Well, I'm glad you've got something to keep you busy while I'm gone." She looked up at me, her wide brown eyes meeting mine, and I realized what I had just said.
"I mean- not like- you know, 'cause you were playing with it- not like
that
kind of playing with it... oh Jesus," I stammered, failing miserably at backpedaling. Her smile was small and secretive, and her cheeks were slightly pink. I knew my face must have been lobster-red. I decided to change the subject before I dug myself into a new Grand Canyon.
"Um, sorry we didn't get to give our gifts on Christmas, by the way." I was flying to our hometown to visit my family, but Margo still had work, so she wasn't coming. We had decided to exchange our gifts before I left so we could see each other's reactions (which I was starting to regret). "Are you sure you'll be ok while I'm gone?" She perked up, probably glad to change the subject, and waved the dildo dismissively.
"I'll be fine, really, I'm gonna be super busy the whole time. Miso, on the other hand, I'm not so sure about." Margo's cat Miso hopped up onto the couch as she said the words. The little black puffball curled up against Margo's leg and fixed her huge, lamp-like yellow eyes on me, not even breaking eye contact when Margo started petting her.
"Oh please, she only loves me for my hat." I shook my head back and forth, jiggling the pom-pom attached to my hat. Her eyes followed it with unnerving precision.
"You gotta stop wearing that hat in the house, it's too tempting." Miso wiggled her butt menacingly, so I stopped shaking my head.
"I'll stop wearing it when it stops being cold as fuck in here." Margo shrugged and started digging through the box of candy canes with the tip of the dildo.
"Don't say I didn't warn you," she said, letting Miso sniff the candy cane that had fallen into her lap. Now that the awkwardness between us was mostly gone, I decided it would be best to leave before I said something stupid again.
"I've gotta go pack for tomorrow. Thanks again for the cactus, I really love it." She looked up at me with a smile and then pointed the dildo at me like a gun.
"Thank you for mine, too! Merry Christmas, Noel."
"Merry Christmas to you too, Marg." I headed back to my bedroom, hoping she couldn't hear the hummingbird pace of my pounding heart.
The next morning was a blur of last-minute packing and stress. Margo tried to help as much as she could, but she had to leave for work pretty early. Even with all my inevitable delays, I made it to the airport with a couple hours to spare. I waited patiently at the gate, scrolling mindlessly on my phone and eating leftover candy canes that hadn't fit in the box I had given Margo. Ten minutes before we were supposed to board, they announced that the flight was canceled. Weather or some bullshit like that, who knows, I was too angry to listen. Planes were fully booked because of the holidays, so they couldn't get me another flight until after New Years. Guess I would be spending Christmas with Margo after all.
I called my parents on the Uber home and let them know I wouldn't make it, then consoled myself with the massive Toblerone I had bought at the airport. It worked a little bit, but I knew I needed destress for a couple hours before I could function again.
"Hello?" I called into the house when I walked through the door. No answer. Margo was probably still at work, but she would be coming home soon, so I'd just explain the situation then. I gave Miso some pats, trudged to my room, threw my suitcase unceremoniously into the corner, took off my pants, and flopped onto my bed. Music and video games seemed like the solution to my problems, so I popped on my headphones and cranked up the volume, then opened up my laptop. Time to block out reality for a little bit.
An hour (maybe two?) later, I decided I needed a snack. I rolled off my bed, stretched, then started lazily towards the kitchen. I was already feeling a lot better, and the prospect of spending Christmas with Margo was starting to excite me. Suddenly, I realized that she should've been home by now. Had I not heard her come in over the music? As I opened my mouth to call for her, a loud moan pierced the air. I abruptly snapped my mouth shut again and stopped walking. What the hell? I had stopped right before the door to Margo's bedroom, the door of which was slightly ajar. Another moan floated through the air, and now I was sure that it had come from her room. Was she really...
I leaned over and peeked through the crack in the door. Margo, gorgeous, sexy Margo, was lying on her bed, completely naked except for her thin cotton sleep shirt. Her legs were spread wide and bent slightly at the knees, giving me a perfect view of her pink, glistening pussy. One hand was holding her phone, and I could hear the faint moans of a lesbian porn playing on it. The other hand gripped the end of the candy cane dildo, sliding it in and out of her wet hole with tantalizing slowness.
Holy shit. I watched her gently fuck herself with the dildo for a minute, completely mesmerized. When I finally came back to my senses, I hopped backwards out of sight of the doorway, trying to breathe as quietly as possible. Oh my god. She must not have known I was in the house. Understandable, in her defense, since I should've been 30,000 feet in the air right now. What the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn't just ignore her and wait till she noticed me, that would freak her out. I could try to get dressed again and sneak back to the door to make it look like I had just come back, but if I made too much noise and she caught me, that would be even worse. I tried desperately to think of what I should do, but another moan filled my ears, making it a lot harder to concentrate. Another one followed almost immediately after, this one a little higher, closer to a whimper. I couldn't help it, I had to peek again. Her eyes were closed now, her head resting on the pillow next to where her phone now lay, which was still emitting groans and screams of pleasure. She had pulled her t-shirt up so her gorgeous tits were on full display. The hand that had been holding her phone was now roughly massaging her boob and tugging on the hard nipple. She was fucking herself a little faster now, but not by much. I watched her slide the thick rod deeper and deeper into her pussy until it reached the curve of the top of the cane. She wiggled the dildo back and forth inside her a little bit, rubbing the curved end against her clit. She arched her back slightly, another groan escaping her lips.
My hand wandered dangerously close to the waistband of my panties. This was the absolute hottest thing I had ever seen, and it was taking all of my willpower not to touch myself as I watched it happening. Some logical part of my brain knew what a creep I was being, and was making a very good case for why I should stop watching her and leave immediately. The only problem was that I couldn't hear it over the screaming horniness that was overwhelming the rest of my mind. The hand that was groping her boobs suddenly came up to her mouth, a few fingers disappearing behind her glossy lips. She sucked for a moment, and then she reached the hand down and used it to massage her clit. Her hips bucked at the added stimulation and she quickened the pace of her thrusting. A continuous stream of moans, gasps, and expletives now threatened to drown out the same sounds that were coming from her phone.
Ok, now that wasn't fair. My resolve crumbled, and a tsunami of lust filled the void it left. I hid myself behind the door so that I could still see her and stuck my hand down the front of my panties. I stroked my already soaking wet pussy, running my fingers slowly through the slick folds and stopping occasionally to dip into my aching hole. I couldn't believe what I was doing, but I still kept doing it all the same. The fact that I had given her that dildo, the dildo that she was fucking herself so beautifully with, that she was shoving deep and hard into her gorgeous pussy over and over again, was making me go crazy. I rubbed furious circles around my clit as I watched, failing to pace myself. I tried to regulate my breathing as much as I possibly could, because I knew that if I made too much noise, she would catch me. A soft thudding noise happened somewhere behind me. I whipped my head around, but it had just been Miso hopping up onto the window sill. I vaguely registered that the cat could be a problem if she decided to meow, but I wasn't thinking very clearly at that point. I turned back to Margo, afraid to miss any part of this perfect show. She was going much faster now, ramming the dildo into her hole in rhythm with her bucking hips. I could feel my knees starting to buckle as I kept my fingers intensely focused on my clit. Almost there, I was starting to-
"Noel," I heard her say, and I froze. Holy fuck, she caught me. I sat there in horrified shock, waiting for the fallout. It never came.
"Oh god, Noel," she said again in between moans.
What the fuck?
I peeked back around the door again. She was in the exact same position and she was still vehemently fucking herself, which did not seem indicative of her awareness of my presence. Had she not seen me? Was she just... thinking about me?
