It is 1:00 p.m. on Wednesday the 20th of October, the day of our long awaited quadruple wedding at 2:00 p.m. in the Old Chelsea Town Hall and the four couples are assembled in the lounge for coffee.
Emily, my senior bride and wife-to-be has had her hair done in a bob to a little below her ears, with the fringe reaching her eyebrows. As usual she isn't wearing a bra but she is wearing a delicious navy blue camisole with lace bodice and a matching navy blue g-string that has me dreaming of ways in which to remove it and her black crotchless tights. Her wedding outfit is a Paris designed navy blue suit. The jacket is double breasted with two sets of gold buttons and only 5 or 6 inches of her matching skirt can be seen, the risqué hem being rather higher than mid-thigh. She has chosen a pair of strappy black stiletto shoes to complete her outfit.
Her accessories are a fetching navy beret, a platinum rope necklace, her solitaire diamond platinum engagement ring and a black box leather handbag with strap and gold clasp containing my platinum wedding ring. She looks both delicious and stylish.
I, the junior bride and wife-to-be, have my long hair down in lovely soft waves, giving it more volume. I've chosen a contrasting white outfit, a silk bra and g-string set, both bordered with lace. It may be October but it's still warm enough for an 18 year old to wear a white summer minidress by Kenancy. It has a lace bordered neckline, which at the bottom joins together to form a vertical lace panel reaching to the waist, where the end is covered by wide white sash running twice around my waist and tied, right of centre, in a bow with long tails. The skirt of the dress is A-line and features a ruffle reaching two-thirds down and rising at the centre to meet just below the sash. The sleeves are trumpet shaped and just reach my elbows.
My accessories feature an identical leather box handbag, but in white and contains Emily's platinum wedding ring, strappy heels to match Emily's but in white, my solitaire diamond platinum engagement ring and a diamond tikka attached to top of my head, where it is secured, along my centre parting to hang in a diamond cluster just below the centre of my forehead. My final touch is a white lace shawl featuring roses embroidered in red.
As we finish our coffee, the security system opens a channel of communication with the gates. It is our wedding guests from the White House. We have agreed that the senior partner of each couple will give away one of the junior partners and be both her Maid of Honour and Best Woman. Sooni has asked if she may act for me and with Emily's agreement, I have accepted her kind offer. As we leave, Sooni gives me a beautiful bouquet and I give her a costume jewellery tikka similar to my own.
On joining with our guests we, the complete membership of Chelsea Exclusives, make the 10 minute walk to the Old Chelsea Town Hall and arrive in good time to let the staff know we have arrived and take our ease for a few minutes before we are shown into the Brydon Room. Those of us getting married are conducted to the row of eight seats at the front and a lady with a clipboard joins us to confirm all the necessary details. The full fee, to include a copy of the entry in the register of marriages for each of us, had been paid when we booked the weddings. Everything settled, the Registrar and her assistant enter and the ceremony starts with a statement that the room has been duly sanctioned for the purpose of civil marriages.
The Registrar explains the solemn and legally binding nature of a civil marriage and then commences with us all following the lead given by the Registrar. We make the legal declarations required, mine is: "I do solemnly declare, that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Isabelle Jane Keeler, may not be joined in matrimony to Pixie Hoffman."
Next come the words required for a Contract of Marriage, when my turn comes I say: "I call upon these persons, here present, to witness that I, Isabelle Jane Keeler, do take thee, Pixie Hoffman, to be my lawful wedded wife."
At the exchange of rings, each couple has chosen to make the same promises to each other: "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and affection, wear it with happiness and pride -- now and always. Everything I am and everything I own I share with you. I promise that I will respect you as an individual, support you through difficult times, rejoice with you through happy times, be loyal to you always and, above all, love you as my wife and friend."
The Registrar says that now, apart from the signing of the register, the marriage ceremonies are complete and couples may kiss to complete their union in front of all those here present. Naturally, that is exactly what we do and as we do, our guests clap enthusiastically in applause.
As we leave the building, we are showered with bubbles blown from a small soapy water flask, just as we did when we were children playing. But bubbles leave no mess, unlike confetti which has to be cleared up afterwards. The official photographs, and lots of unofficial ones too, are taken and we all walk home to India House, where a magnificent Indian banquet has been prepared for us. Speeches follow the delicious banquet when our servants receive our thanks, a doubling of pay to mark the end of the probation and our congratulations. While the banquet is being cleared, we take coffee in the spacious hall where a small band plays a mixture of Indian and Popular music for us to dance to on the parquet floor.
After the wedding reception, being dark, two of our servants ferry the occupants of the White House safely back home using the two BMW iX3 cars, while the newly married couples enjoy nightcaps together. When the drivers have returned safely, the gates secured and the cars snug again in their locked garage and the house secured, we all retire to our bedrooms.
On the way upstairs Lali tells us that the house that will be our home while in India, is prepared, ready and waiting for us. She adds that her parents plan to put the house we stay in up for sale. With a smile and nod from Emily, I ask how much her parents will be asking for the house. She says that she will send them a text to ask on our behalf and shows us a picture of it. The house is actually a rather large mansion and, having seen the ITV series 'Beacham House' on television, we both comment on the remarkable similarities.
Emily asks about personal security officers, particularly with Fetisha's trial looming. Lali says that her mother has recommended a group of lesbian mercenaries/personal security officers led by a granddaughter of Mustapha Kunt, who was the military attaché at the Turkish Embassy in London in the 1940s. The group is currently based in Delhi and the granddaughter, Ayma, a Babylonian name, is on standby for us while in India. Emily asks if she can confirm the booking for us, expense is less important than our safety, adding a request that we be met at Indira Gandhi International airport. Our Virgin Atlantic Flight VS 302 is scheduled to arrive from Heathrow at 12:10 a.m. local time on Saturday. Lali says that she will make the arrangements.
That night, India House sounded like an Amsterdam brothel with four couples continuing their nuptial celebrations in bed, fortunately the foundations didn't give way and no windows were shattered as a result. It was remarkable for two reasons: First, that all four couples have shared a bed for quite some time so a novelty value couldn't have been in play and, secondly because all eight ladies are working prostitutes, albeit masquerading as escorts, sex had no novelty value either. Clearly, we conclude, it is the commencement of lifelong loving relationships.