The sun rose, shining brightly through the window of Lucy, the newest nun at St Augustines Convent, slowly rousing her from a brief sleep. She had lain awake until the early hours fretting over whether or not she had made the right choice to join the convent in the sleepy town of Bushy Meadows. Pulling the blanket off her she set about getting dressed by drawing her habit down over her naked body. As Lucy's eyes still felt blotchy and sore from the tears they had shed only a few hours previously, she felt sad and justified in abandoning underwear today. With the shapeless sagginess of her Order's habit and the simple fact no man would be seeing her undress, she felt little point in worrying about trivial matters of appearance.
The morning prayers gave way to breakfast and the cleaning up after. The afternoon timetable was as follows: post breakfast prayer, lunch, chores, post lunch prayer, silent contemplation, pre dinner payer, dinner and finally post dinner prayer. It was during the silent contemplation that Lucy's mind began to wonder back to her grief. The convent seemed such a lonely place, filled with other nuns though it was, there still seemed a profound lack of human contact. This solitude had once been what Lucy had desired above anything, feeling as she did, at odds with the world. Having never really fitted in with her group of friends, while Lucy had been organising her move to the Convent, her friends had been organising weddings. Lucy had no such interest in weddings, or relationships or for that matter even men. Men's appeal to women had always been something of a mystery to Lucy; their hard hairy façade had no effect on her other than that of repellence and it was precisely this which had led Lucy to a life of celibacy.
After the final prayer of the evening Lucy was feeling tired, having not had much sleep, and feeling rather down and isolated she intended to prolong her isolation and head to her dorm. As Lucy turned, intending to close her bedroom door behind her, she felt herself jump, but took control of herself before she could vocalise her fright. The cause of her shock had been another lady of the order standing in her doorway. Although she appeared slightly older than Lucy, due to a hardened look of confidence, she was still clearly one of the younger nuns in the convent. Lucy felt a mix of embarrassment and frustration; she had plans for the evening, albeit rather gloomy plans but plans none the less! The girl standing in Lucy's doorway remained there, yet remained silent. Lucy spoke first,
"Hi" was all Lucy could muster. She felt her checks burn and she cursed herself for her shyness. Little did she know Sister Mary, whom it was standing in her doorway, felt the same embarrassment and self-hatred. Mary had forced herself to follow the new arrival back to her room. She had looked so painfully sad and alone, and knowing how she felt, having only experienced the same thing only six months earlier felt duty bound to ease her loneliness in some way. Remembering her first few weeks at the convent Mary finally found the courage to speak and she smiled as she did so,
"Hello" she gave a chuckle "Sorry, curse my damnable shyness!" Mary wondered why awkward social situations always made her feign poshness. She continued awkwardly
"Sorry. You're Lucy aren't you? Have you chosen your nun name yet? Probably you haven't you've only just arrived" She forced a short burst of laughter as Lucy looked on "I'm Sister Mary anyway. I'm sorry to be wittering at you like this, it's just...I'm new here myself...reasonably...and I remember how it feels...and ... I just wondered if you fancied some company? I know we are not usually allowed in each other's rooms, but the Sisters do usually make exceptions for new arrivals, you know, just until you're settled and comfortable."
Mary nervously waited for a reply and she was about to apologise for coming when Lucy spoke,
"umm, yes of course, would you like to come in?" Lucy gestured towards her modest single bed. She felt apprehensive, having never really had close friends before and therefore having never sat alone on her bed with another girl. Yet at the prospect of having some human comfort she couldn't help but feel a thousand times happier than she had when she first awoke that morning.
Lucy and Mary sat on the bed slightly facing each other with their left knees so close they were almost touching. They each looked at their laps and noticed this, they gave a shy laugh and pulled away. Lucy leaned back against the wall making herself more comfortable. Since having got over the hurdle of initiating contact she felt more confident. In fact she felt more like the person she hoped she gave the impression of being. Feeling now more brazen she playfully touched Lucy on the arm, rubbing it a little as she asked her about why she had chosen convent life. Lucy spoke little at first, feeling nervous about how much of her awkward teenage years she could admit to. But when Mary spoke about her own youth, about her one and only relationship with a boy which began and ended with a kiss, one solitary kiss. A kiss which made Mary feel unwell, uncomfortable, and yet, for some reason unable to walk away or stop it from happening. She had allowed a boy to make her feel like her sole purpose was to provide pleasure for him and she had sworn never to be so weak again. This was the vow that had led Mary to the convent.
As they relaxed in each other's company Lucy went on to speak about her doubts about whether she had made the right decision in joining the Order. Lucy told Mary about all the things she was yet to experience, relationships, travel, she had never even smoked a cigarette or drank alcohol which to Lucy seemed a basic right of passage for any teenager, and she was now an adult. At this last statement Mary smiled and when she spoke she chose her path carefully,
"You know, Lucy, at the convent, you have a bit of time to settle in. Time to think hard about whether or not this life is really what you want. The Sisters are a little more lenient and you can kind of get away with a lot"
Lucy looked blankly at Mary. Mary continued excitedly,
