It was late when I got home from the meeting- I knew that the children would be asleep already, so I entered the house quietly not wanting to wake them up. You were away for a few days, so I'd hired the 18-year-old next-door neighbor girl to baby-sit while I was out...we'd only known her for a short time, but she seemed good with the children so I'd decided to give her a try.
I walked into the living room to find her asleep on the couch, her long dark hair brushed back over her forehead and flowing over the couch cushions. She was lying back against the cushions, and her t-shirt had pulled up so that I could just see the bottoms of her budding breasts. Despite myself, I could feel a little surge of wetness between my thighs as I gazed at her flat stomach showing just above the waistline of her tightly fitting jeans. As I watched, the hand lying between her thighs began to move gently, and I turned away, not wanting to disturb her or get myself into trouble.
As I turned towards the TV I laughed, because she'd obviously gotten bored and decided to watch one of the movies that we usually kept hidden. The video was on pause, but I could see the familiar sight of one woman face down in another, and I smiled to myself as I turned back to her. I bent down and gently shook her shoulder, marveling at the softness of her skin beneath my hand. As she rolled over and stirred sleepily I bent down and whispered in her ear, "It's Mrs. Hamilton...I'm home now."
She woke up slowly, then gave a little start as she realized where she was. I sat down beside her on the couch and talked to her a bit as she woke up, and then watched her face as she glanced at the TV and then back at me, her fair skin flushing with embarrassment.
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Hamilton," she stammered as she searched my face to see what my reaction would be.
"Don't worry about it sweetie," I said as I watched the poor girl try to overcome her embarrassment. "I don't usually leave those videos out, but I must have been watching it before I left, and just forgot to take it out of the VCR. As long as the children never see it, I don't mind at all if you watch it. Just don't ever, ever let your parents know. "
She laughed a bit. "Like I tell them anything- they don't understand anything about me."
Not wanting to get into another discussion about teenagers and their parents, I asked her if she'd liked the movie.
She looked down at her lap, and nodded mutely, her face flushing red and her hands clasped in her lap.
I reached out and brushed her hair back from her face. "That's good," I said. "I remember when I was your age I looked at everything that I possibly could...I didn't know what I was feeling, and I was so relieved to find out that I wasn't the only one who liked girls as well as boys."
She looked up at me. "Really?" she said. "I thought that I was some kind of freak...I've always liked looking at pictures of women, but I thought that just made me weird."
"Not at all sweetheart," I said. "There's nothing wrong at all with liking women...you're old enough now to have an idea of what you like, so as long as you're careful, I'd say go ahead and explore everything and find out what you want to do."
She looked up at me quietly, and I took her hand, watching to see what her reaction would be. She looked up at me with confusion in her eyes. "But you're married!" she said with such dismay that I laughed.
"That's okay," I said. "Mr. Hamilton knows all about my love for women, and he doesn't have a problem with it at all. You really can have what you want in life if you're very, very lucky, and very, very careful."
I began tracing lines on her palm with my fingertip as she told me about one of the girls at school that she had a crush on...how beautiful she was, how her heart jumped whenever she saw her, but how she was afraid to approach her because she just didn't know what to do. I could see how she very deliberately didn't look down at her hand in mine as she talked to me of her confusion and her desires and fears.
"Well," I said, as I began to stroke her forearm, "it's always tough when you like someone and you don't know if they like you, but if you like I can at least show you what you could do with her if you ever get the chance."
I could feel her breathing quicken as she looked up at me with her deep blue eyes and nodded once, not saying anything.