AUTHORS NOTE: so here's the second chapter, a bit edited but still with the same direction. Comment please! I love the feedback, so please give me as much as possible!
C8ER2U
November 25th 1955
Wilbur gon have my head.
My sister turned white as a sheet when I came back with the baby. My poor baby, her lips turnt blue out there in all that cold. My God, how long was she out there? Whole way home she silent. Starin up at me with them big blue eyes. Got ink black hair. So much of it too. She beautiful.
And someone done threw her away.
Soon as I got home I kicked the door in and hollered for my sister, she minds my kids when I work. The baby had finally fell asleep in my arms and it scared the hell outta me. Cause I didn't know if she was gonna wake up. Soon as my sister saw me standin there, jacket open, white baby in my arms she lost all her color. Look like she gonna fall out her senses.
I yell to her, "Boil some water or somethin!"
She snap to and run off. Baby still layin there not movin. She still so cold. I run up to the room and get the thick blankets from the bed and wrap her in them. I'm talkin to her, tryin to keep her on this earth. I pray, "God don't take her yet."
I done made up my mind that she mine. Don't matter if her birth mama didn't want her. This mama do.
My sister comes in with the basin of water and I tell her to fill the tub with it. I take her to the bath and I unwrap her so careful. I test the water for her. Too hot. Sent Ethel, that's my sister, back down to get some cool water. I take a cloth and dip it in the water, and wait for the cloth to cool. Then I start runnin it over my baby. Her eyes opened now, and God how she cryin.
"Hush baby," I say.
She still cryin. Four of my boys come rushin in the room. They peekin around the door tryna catch a glimpse of the baby.
"Thought you hadda work today mama?" My youngest boy Perceval asked.
"Get outta here! All a ya! Git!"
My heart is thumpin in my chest. I can't breathe fast enough.
Jesus just let her be okay. She don't deserve this, she deserves a better life. Please God. Don't take her.
Ethel got the pail of water and we add it to the tub. I strip the blankets off and put her in the basin. She screechin' so much. I'm so scared for her.
I strip down. Take off all my clothes and I get in the tub with her, holdin her to me. She stop cryin. Thank you jesus, she done stopped cryin. She just lookin at me again with them big thoughtful blue eyes and I love her. Just like that. I love her.
I held her like that, till she turn pink, and the water got a chill to it. Had Ethel bring up more hot water for us. I give her my breast. She must be starving, she latch on quick and fell right to sleep. I stayed like that, holdin my baby to me and realized I gotta somehow convince my husband that she's our child. I got so scared. What if he don't love her like I do? What if he don't understand? But where else could she go?
Willy gon have a fit.
Can't afford to feed ourselves, let alone the eight kids we done had. He gon only see another hongery mouth. But I can't let her go. Jus can't.
After a while I start dosin off. Ethel wake me up and offer to take the baby from me. I can't let her outta my arms. Like I'm scared sum else bad gon happen to her. I kiss her tiny sleepin eyes and give her to ethel so I can get up. I put on my big flannel night gown and get into bed. Ethel hands me back my child. She put a diaper and one of Cora's blankets on her. I lay her up to my breast. She stirs a bit then goes right back to sleep.
I hear Cora fussin in the other room and I go to get back up. Ethel laid me right back down.
"Don't you worry bout none them kids, I'll take care of em. Y'all just rest up now, been a rough mornin," she said closing the door behind her.
I pray again. I thank God for this Gift he's given my family. I thank God for Ethel. Then I fall into much needed sleep.
************
"Who this?"
I come flyin awake and almost forgot about the baby sleepin on my chest.
Almost.
Wilbur standin over me like I'm in my grave, starin back and forth at me and the white child in my arms. My heart is beatin around in my chest again; Wilbur looks like he gon rip my head off.
"Why you ain't workin up at the Caulfield's? And who this baby?"
"She ours now," I say. I look down at her and she still sleepin there all angelic like.
"She who?"
Now, there are certain things that happen in your life that you have no way to prepare yourself for. Your mama can tell you all about the birds and the bees, tell you all about your monthly visitor and things. But there just some things that no one could ever prepare ya for.
Like, explainin to your husband why you need to keep the white child you found in the trash. Where's the bible passage for that? Who would be the one to talk to about that?
"Woman, you betta answer me!"
He looks so tired. Like he carryin the weight of the world, and I just added a bit more on his shoulders.
"Willy," I say sitting up. I look over at the sky and realize for the first time it's evening. We done slept the day away and my stomach is growlin.
"I said she ours."
I let the words hang in the air and Wilbur is staring at me like he might slap me. I don't blame him. If he'da pulled this kinda thing on me I'da slapped the black off him. But he didn't, I'm the one who brought this situation into our house. And I just can't help but love her. I can't.
"You think we can afford this mess? You think I like workin from can't see in the morning till can't see at night? You think you got time to just play house when you got eight chillren of your own runnin round here? You got Ethel runnin round here takin care them chillren you birthed! Now you stealin babies from them high floutin' white folks? You tryna get yo ass thrown in jail?"
"Willie I ain't never stole nothing in my life! Now, keep yo voice down! You gon wake the poor chile and she done been though enough today," I say lowerin my voice. I sit up, still clutchin her to my chest. She was startin to fuss a bit, so I rocked her while Wilbur watched.
"I found her. I was on my way over to the Caulfield's when I heard her. She was in the trash Willie."
I look into his eyes. I can see his body sag a bit at what I said.
"She- she was in the trash?" he asked confused. He sank into the rocking chair behind him and it was like someone had deflated him.
I look down at the sleeping child in my arms, her tiny lips suckin on an invisible nipple, her eyes dancin
Behind her eyelids like she lookin for somebody in her dreams.
"I'm right here," I say.
I look up and Wilbur starin holes through the both of us.