Rain poured down out in the street, it had been cloudy for the most part, today was Thursday most of the students were present, even if the lecture hall felt cold, it was mid November after all.
Everyone was staring at her, she was doing it again. Absently staring at the page in front of her for way too long like she often did, she hated who she had become now. She couldn't even proceed with her lecture in peace as the past forced itself into her mind.
Genesis ended her class early, today was not the day it seemed, she briefly remembers when her classes were exciting and full of lively discussion, she remembered the smiling faces of her students even the shy ones who never spoke up. Genesis remembered how she used to go to her lecture excited and happy and how everything had turned out so bad.
She got to her office and closed the door behind her. As she slumped back in her chair she turned around to face the rain outside, she had tried to fake it for a while, drinking, partying, getting high, and even doing some self-love, learning to paint, going out dancing, meeting new people even meditating, but all the healing and self-love in the world wouldn't take the pain away. The memories would always be a part of her, she touched her fourth finger and somehow she could still feel the ring on it like an invisible chain around her soul.
Genesis heard the knock on her door and welcomed the distraction; it was one of her students. He seemed nervous as he apologized and gave some distant explanation as to why he hadn't done his assignment and asked for more time to submit. In the back of her mind genesis knew she had gone a bit overboard with the assignments and reach papers, but grading was her only source of distraction nowadays, she let him off the hook this time all she really wanted to do was be alone.
At the end of the day she got in her car, and drove straight to the supermarket where she would do her usual running around like a zombie, after walking for 45 min and grabbing some things she knew she didn't need, she got back in the car and drove around to Mile's house. She stopped in the middle of the road, there were not a lot of cars around this shabby-looking area, she hated that he always tried to make small talk with her before he gave her the weed, so she just handed him the money and rushed off, no ways she would be seen around with him.
30 minutes later she was in her car getting high, now it was dark and snowing outside, as she stared up at her little house, she inhaled more of the smoke before she finally left the car and got into the house with her groceries.
Genesis looked around and turned the lights and heater on, this house was always cold lately regardless of the heater. She thought of making dinner but instead, she just ordered food. She set on her couch in the living room and turned on the TV, she really wanted to just move but she couldn't bring herself to do it, she remembered how she once had argued with him about the painting and how many times she had told him warm white was better on walls. Genesis picked her food and as she eat it didn't test the same...nothing had ever been the same since he had been gone.
Three years ago the love of her life had left her without so much as a word; she just woke up one morning after making love to her husband just to find he was gone. Two days later she had gone to the police station and there she had been given the most devastating news a person could ever receive, her husband wasn't real. Genesis replayed the detective's words over and over in her mind "Aiden is not real, he was just an undercover agent on a mission having to do with your neighbor Mr. Levi, as of now he will be off then reassigned to another case." And with those words, her whole life had crumbled right in front of her.
The man she had shared her life, dreams, and hopes with was just an undercover agent sent to arrest and convict her neighbor who was suspected of trafficking and money laundering. Suddenly her life had just vanished, she remembered all the nights they had spent together making plans about the future, building a life together, joking, fighting, and making love, it was all a lie.
Genesis didn't cry for weeks she held it inside; she was in shock and just couldn't process it. She had never seen it coming, she had planned to get her IUD removed as an anniversary gift, she thought they were ready to start a family, she had let her guard down and completely gave herself to this man, so when he betrayed her she couldn't understand why? How? When? What had she missed? He had lied so well that he had completely become another person to fit into her life.
She still remembered coming back from the university, cooking his favorite meal, and talking until late. She remembered his smile, the way he would frown when she would start talking about her agricultural lectures, and the way he would yell in Swedish at the TV when the kickboxing matches would come on. The lust in his eyes when he was eating her out, the way they would run around the backyard with water guns in the summer. The way his light hazel eyes looked at her when he asked her to marry him, the sound of his voice, and the mischief in his tone when he would jokingly tell her to behave.
Genesis had dated two guys since then but nothing ever compared, she was in her early thirties, and divorce wasn't a cute look in the dating pool, even if technically she had never been married to him. She had foolishly given her heart, body, mind, and soul to this man and he had broken her into little pieces. After the shock she cried every day for months, even the act of getting up was amazing some days.
Genesis had only ever told her aunty Lea the truth, everyone else friend and family thought he had just traveled for better job opportunities. And with the help of her aunty Lea who was more like a sister since they were only two years apart, she tried to rebuild her life. She hated this house because it reminded her of all the things that could have been, she wanted to move but the market was tight and it was too much of a jump to sell the house now.
She finished the movie and headed off to bed, she had been sleeping in what used to be their spare room because she couldn't stand being in their room knowing all his things were gone, sometimes it was fine but most of the time she couldn't step inside, and tonight wasn't an exception.
She woke up late it was past 9 in the morning and she was glad she only had two lectures in the afternoon. She got ready for the day and ran all her quick errands. As she walked back into her house coming from the supermarket later in the evening, she looked around the empty house and felt lonely, a now usual feeling. this house would never be the same without him, she looked at the door expecting him to walk in and smile at her as soon as he saw her in the kitchen, then complain about the house burning down from her awful cooking.
Genesis hated that this is what her life had become a prison of memories; meanwhile he had had no problem completely erasing her after telling and showing her so much love, he had just left like she meant nothing, like they were nothing at all.
~~~~~~~~~~
She fell asleep on the couch as usual. She woke up to a knock on her door; it was some kids looking for a lost cat. She denied seeing any cat and decided to start her lazy Saturday. She was drying her red wine curly braids when she heard the door shot, someone was in her house, and she assumed it was Lea.
"Mami! I will be right there just give me a minute!" she yelled out.
"Oh... Jolie! Take your time" she heard her replay.
Genesis's senses shifted Lea wouldn't use French on her unless something really had her attention, so she nonchalantly walked out of the room with a smile when suddenly her heart dropped to her chest, her smile faded, her eyes couldn't believe what she was seeing, he was standing there in from of her. The man she would forever love had come back after all this time.
Genesis was sitting almost motionless as Lea made everyone some chamomile tea,
the three of them drank the tea silently in the kitchen and after what felt like a billion years, Lea quickly left the house. The silence was defining; Genesis looked around the house trying to find what to say or what to do. She never thought she would see him again after all these years she didn't know what to say.
She heard the vibration on her phone but she couldn't be bothered to look at it, as the silent match between them continued there was tension in the air that couldn't be cut with a knife.
