Three days until D-Day. And by 'D', I mean 'DICK'.
It's the Wednesday before my wedding day. And if I don't get some pipe up between my legs soon I'm going to go crazy.
People are flying in from everywhere. Lisa and Nicole are already here, of course. They got here two days ago because that's how besties roll. But Kevon's people are just now arriving. I'm about to meet the infamous Teralynn House and Jennifer Louis. I'd sent Beatrice out to the airport to pick Teralynn up. Jennifer was driving in from Baltimore. Ivan picked up Artie and Eddie. The entire wedding party is meeting at the Sheraton for drinks. If I can just hold it together for three more days! I feel like I'm on the verge of a kinghell breakdown.
So Kevon and I are holding court at the Sheraton restaurant/bar & grille as people drift in. Beatrice, Lisa and Nicole are with us. I'm sipping white wine when what I really want is a good stiff shot of Hennessy. Kevon knows enough not to let me get into that evil concoction. I might start telling people what I really think of them. And no one wants that.
This short black girl wanders up. She looks like Jennifer Hudson before Jennifer lost all that weight. Her massive tits preceded her. Kevon bolts from my side and snatches this woman into the air. They do everything but tongue kiss. He brings Miss Happy Tits over to me. This, then, is Jennifer Louis...one of 'the fellas'. She hugs me as if we are long lost sisters. I'm a little verklempt at this unseemly familiarity. Apparently, Kevon has been telling her more about me that he's been telling me about her. She's really going out of her way to make me comfortable with her presence.
I welcomed her, of course. I told her that I hoped we'd be able to get all the wedding steps learned in a short time. She waved her hand as if to say: "Ain't no thang". I would have liked to have shared her confidence. She sat down at the table with Kevon and I and the two of them started rehashing old times. Jennie made sure to tip me into the conversation even though I hadn't gone to college with them. I appreciated this greatly. It told me that she wasn't just "one of the boys". She had some concept of female manners.
Twenty minutes later here comes Bea with this tall, yaller heffah in tow. Kevon and Jennifer both bolted the table to tackle this woman. The three of them literally threw up their dukes and popped air punches at each other!! I surmised that this woman was my other unknown bride's maid--Teralynn House--just flown in from Dallas. If I'd thought that Kevon's reaction to Jennifer's entrance was over the top, it was nothing compared to the gab/hug fest that now ensued. These people obviously loved each other.
Teralynn comes over to our table. Kevon introduces her to myself, Lisa and Nicole. She's more than cordial. Like her friend Jennie, Teralynn knows proper female etiquette. I started feeling more comfortable with the two of them. In my mind I'd envisioned them as bull dykes when in person they were anything but.
We all sat down and had a rollicking conversation. Lisa and Nicole can talk about any subject you care to name. They're not know-it-alls, but then again they do know a lot about a wide range of subjects. Kevon was the only dude at the table and the subject du jour was whether Lebron had any shot at Kareem's scoring record. How many women would choose THAT topic? And yet Lisa, Nicole, Teralynn and Kevon offered up various opinions as to Lebron's chances. Jennie and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. At least I had one kindred spirit at the table.
And when DeSean Phillips rolled up (after the necessary hug fest) a fresh male opinion offered itself. I wanted to talk about the rehearsals. Each time I sought to inject a deflection, the conversation went back to sports. It was as if we had a table full of Steven A. Smiths. I flashed Kevon a look. He discreetly started to change the subject when suddenly he bolted from the table yet again. (Teralynn and Jennie were in the restroom)
Ivan was leading Eddie Gallison and Artie Jay into the room.
OK, so up till now I haven't described my man Kevon yet in real terms. Kevon is fine in a rugged kind of way. He's got squared shoulders and that shade of mocha skin that lends itself to razor bumps. Not that he has bad skin. But you can tell that he'll get razor bumps if he's not careful. His bottom lip is bigger than his top lip. His teeth are straight and very white. He's 6'2". His biceps and his pectorals ripple. He's got a deep chocolate voice. When naked his torso dovetails into the classic V-shape of an athlete. He's got a nice six-pack. His dick curls off to the left. I like him. I like watching him move. He moves like a stalking jungle cat.
These two friends of his? Eddie and Artie? Both these niggas are FOINE. I had to do a double take! Eddie was a little darker than Artie and his shoulders weren't as squared. But if Eddie had asked me for some pussy back in the day? Sheeeee-itttt.
And when I say Artie is 'foine', I mean 'foine' in the Prince Rogers Nelson sense of the word, if Prince had been taller and his chest had been broader. I mean, Artie is PURTY like a girl, with his redbone, curly head ass. I glanced over at Lisa and she's practically drooling. She'd once described her perfect man to me. Artie was IT. He's another one that I would have fucked before he got the question out of his mouth, just in case he chose to change his mind. Back in the day, I mean.
There's another shriek. It's Jennie. She runs up to Eddie and Artie to hug them. I heard them ask after Teralynn. Jennie made some catty remark about what Teralynn was doing in the bathroom. This was my first indication that this woman hung out with men. I dunno why I was surprised. Kevon had warned me.
Kevon led these two guys up to meet me. Disguising my lust, I greeted them cordially and turned to introduce them to Nicole and Lisa. They were astounded to find that Lisa and Nicole were sisters. I used to like to spring that one on people just to see their response. It never failed to amuse.
OK, let's be honest. At this point I'd just met these guys. I'm not going to lie--I was attracted to both of these men, especially Artie. My heart was pumping wildly. I wasn't sure how I felt at that point. What was also undeniable was the electricity I sensed between Artie and Lisa. Hell, there was electricity between Artie and Nicole, too. This dude was so fine he stopped married women in the street.
And I felt JEALOUS. Yes!! My man was standing right there. Mrs. Hotbox is saying "Hmmmmm. Not bad!" And she's lusting after one of Kevon's boys!!
For the first time in my life I felt like a ho. My panties were wet. Even worse, when I introduced Artie and Lisa I sensed: "These two are headed for trouble."
I gave Artie the "stank" look even though he didn't deserve it.
After all, Lisa was my GURL. I dunno if he picked up on it or not. I thought I disguised it well. But my stank look said: "You can fuck her. But you'd better not fuck her over."
At that point I knew nothing would ever happen between Artie and me. Kevon had already told me about something called the "man code", in which girlfriends are off limits in perpetuity. And now I was already injecting myself into a relationship between Artie and Lisa that had yet to occur.
Mrs. Hotbox was making me crazy. I'm standing in the middle of four of the finest men in nine states. It's a sausage-fest of gargantuan proportions. All these men are college graduates with good careers--not a pooh-butt in the bunch. All of them are single....well...except for Kevon. Yes, Kevon. He's mine. Focus, girl.
We all went over to our table and sat down. Predictably, Lisa and Nicole dominated the conversation. They were in their element, the aforementioned sausage-fest. They're going on and on about every subject imaginable. All of us are drinking and having a good time. It was so much fun that I temporarily forgot about Mrs. Hotbox. Things were going better than I'd planned. The entire wedding party was engaged. We were getting to know each other. There didn't seem to be any fur being rubbed the wrong way. We were all black professionals (except for Nicole) doing well in our chosen fields. I was impressed!
