Hard Passion: The Chronicles of Erica Bradson
Chapter 5
The False Smile
Morning came faster than before. My eyes soared at the sight of the sun peeking through the window in our room, and my body felt weak and used up. It did not help that my alarm clock kept ringing that god awful sound, like a nagging two year old wanting something.
I kept missing the off button with my hand, but after a couple of retries I finally hit it. Suddenly I felt this warm feeling of comfort inside of me, as I tugged myself closer to my sheets, like a burden was gone. It felt good, it felt even better when I pressed my soft pillow to my cheeks and just wandered back to my dream.
I woke only after I felt I had slept enough. The sun was invading my room, and birds were flying passed my window as I tried to open my eyes to that bright light. A small smile carved itself into my face as I kept starring at my window emitting that beautiful bright morning sunlight. There was something about it, like a new beginning was coming, and for a second there was no sadness in my heart.
I stretched my arm out while yawning, but as I stretched I realized that something was missing. Only when I looked toward where my husband was supposed to be did I realise he was missing.
Where did he go?
I asked myself.
Fear crawled up towards my spine, as I began wondering if the worst had happened, whether he had found out about my affair. Only when I looked at my alarm clock did I realise that I had overslept and that he probably just had to leave to work.
Yet somehow I did not feel relief.
What would happen
if
he found out one day?
What would happen with us? He would surely leave me I know that, no one would forgive me for what I had done to him. And what would happen to the kids? They'd be heartbroken, especially Peter he is too young to understand it all. And-and what would happen between me and Malik?
I shook my head from these thoughts since I was starting to go into a territory I did not want to think about.
I went toward the bathroom to rinse myself from my sleep and these awful thoughts of mine.
The hot water of the shower hit my body as hard as small rocks falling from the sky, somehow I felt embarrassed, and the more I felt this way the harder the water became. I was thinking of yesterday, the things I did and the things I said made me tense up. Although I felt ashamed for what I had done again I felt more ashamed of the thing I had said while we were making love.
Did I really say it? Did he really make me say it?
I wanted to think that Malik had made me say those things and that I did not mean it, but deep down I knew that I really did mean it. Somehow I just did not want to accept any of it, I tensed up even more, and almost began to cry but stopped before I even started and stepped out of the shower wet and dripping.
I took a towel and dried myself up, but as I turned around to clean my back I noticed my underwear was on the floor. I realised then that the stress of not getting caught yesterday combined with the little time I had to shower and getting rid of my cum soaked clothes into the washing machine had made me forget that my underwear was still on the floor.
I almost shrieked when I realised the mistake I had done, anyone who had been in the bathroom could have noticed it. I instantly leaped at it like it was my biggest secret and realised it was reeking of a combined smell of Malik's semen and my own passion fluid. I could not open the washing machine and put it inside with my other clothes since it was still washing them, so I just stood there like a thief holding something stolen.
I looked around hoping I could hide it away, somewhere, until the washing machine had finished its wash, but the more I looked around the more I realised there was nowhere for me to hide it. So I started to tense up again, pressing the underwear tighter to my chest as if I was holding my own life in my hands. Then I noticed the bin full of dirty clothes.
I pulled all the clothes out of the washing bin until there was nothing there, placed my own underwear at the very bottom of the bin and then filled it up again with the dirty clothes. This way I was sure it would be hidden from eyes for now.
I slowly went back to dry myself while I was still eyeing the washing bin. I then began to wonder what would happen had my husband seen it, what would he think if he found my underwear with another man's semen on it? It just made me feel worse than before, those thoughts I did not want to think of just suddenly came back. It was like my underwear proved to me that it was all real that there was just no excuse anymore.
I again tried to suppress my thoughts away and began putting on some clothes, ready to be the wife and mom I was supposed to be. I caught one last glimpse toward the bin. It was then that I realised that everything that happens from here on out would define what kind of a woman I truly am, I closed the door wondering about my future.
****
My sons had already gone to school, and my husband's cell phone kept going to voice mail the way it always did whenever he was too busy. I myself just stayed at home with my thoughts wondering about my future. I was seated in the same room where everything had started, the living room, where Malik and I had made love for the first time.
A nice scent of flowers roamed the living room, ever since that day I had tried to hide my shame by cleaning the room still it did not hide everything. It could not hide my memories of that day nor could it hide the passion Malik and I had felt that day. It was almost bewildering, somehow it all just made me feel happy and ashamed at the same time.
My heart started to beat faster as I kept remembering, but it was stronger than just remembering, it was like I wanted to relive it. I started to bite my lip the more I remembered and my hands started to gently move down toward my waist, but I wanted to stop I did not want this now. I tried to stop myself by biting my nails, but then a strong scent that I remembered from somewhere fused into my nostrils.
Soon after, a strong manly taste pierced my tongue, and suddenly I realised that I had forgotten to wash my hands after I had hid my underwear, the scent and taste of Malik's sperm and my own fluid had left its mark on my hand. I detached my hand from my mouth, but the taste already started to invade me. It was piercing through my body like a snake looking for its prey, its prey being nothing less than my own shame.
I began to sink down into the sofa spreading my legs apart just waiting for someone to touch me, to touch me where Malik had been, the way he had and in the way he still kept doing me in my mind. I slid my hand into my pants, passed the buttons and between my legs. The warmth I was emitting from my vagina was thought provoking, giving me live images in my head of me and Malik together at his place doing all sorts of things, things we haven't even done.
It made me feel insane, almost as if I wanted to just be ravaged again and again. The more I started to think like this the more my hand caressed my warmth, while my other hand began pitching my hard tit knob. I squeezed it harder and harder, and the more I kept squeezing the more I became wet.
I was so intensely masturbating a button from my pants popped off. I wasn't even caressing anymore, I was just penetrating my fingers through my underwear and into my hole, moaning at the intense pleasure and saying Malik's name over and over again.
All of this was almost stopped by the sudden ringing of my cell phone, but it did not matter to me for I was in a lustful state. It kept ringing and vibrating in my pocket. It was then that I decided to pull it out and toss it away and leave me to my pleasure, but as I held it in my hand I did something I never thought I would have done.
I slipped it into my pants and on top of my wet underwear, and then began to carefully circle my phone around in my pants feeling the vibration from the call hitting my sensitive spots. It almost sent me to heaven, and I wished that the caller kept on ringing forever.
I did not care who it was, it could have been a seller for all I care. It did not change the fact that the vibration from my cell phone sent me into that realm of lust again, and soon I came like a blowing star.
