"Clean up, aisle 7," the loudspeaker buzzed.
"Your turn, Jason," My cousin Riley said.
"Yeah, I hope it's not in the frozen food department again, ice cream and lasagna really suck to clean up."
I glanced at the aisle and saw that somehow peanut butter, jelly, and several sticks of butter had some how been collaborated into a symphony of mess on the floor. Skittles adorned it with a few 2 liters of Mountain Dew and grape soda.
"Looks like I'm going to have to use the mop." I sighed.
I went back to the back to grab the mop and saw it was missing and glanced around. Of course the admirable, vigilant, alert, manager that was my cousin was sleeping, leaning up against a mass amount of Bounty paper towels.
"Hey," I said, getting no response back.
"Oh damn, the superintendent is here and she's wearing a g-string!" I yelled, jarring my cousin awake.
"Huh? What? Where's my comb, I gotta look good man! I gotta-," he paused and looked around, seeing me trying not to laugh, "You're an ass man, that's not even cool."
"Yeah, yeah I'm horrible, where's the mop, I gotta clean up aisle 7." I stated.
"Oh uh, new girl got it, she said she had to clean up something." He said, yawning.
"I'm going to go off on a limb and assume she's not hot, seeing as you can't remember her name." I joked
"Man, I've been sleeping- er I mean, studying up on manager type stuff you don't know about! I just heard footsteps, smelled perfume, and heard her ask if she could borrow it like it was a crime to clean up." He responded.
"Yeah, okay, lemme go find her, I do NOT want to clean that shit in aisle 7 when it dries." I groaned, running off to find the girl with the mop.
"Hey market trash! You missed a spot!" I heard in the direction of the mess I had been assigned to clean up. I quickly ran over and saw several spoiled bastards picking on a fellow employee, holding a mop. Well I guess that's the mop, along with the new employee. So much for having to hunt her down, I thought. I shook my head and glared at the laughing kids. They saw me coming and started pointing and laughing.
"Hey guys look, they sent another piece of market trash!" a guy said.
"I guess we know the answer to how many market drones does it take to clean up a spill!" one of the girls sneered, while smirking, smugly at me.
"No we don't guys; this one's standing there glaring at us, while the girl is trying not to cry!"
They all started laughing again and that's when I had enough.
"Guys, guys look. We'll clean up this mess and let you have the mop." I suggested
"Why would we need this stupid mop?" the guy asked.
"So you can go fuck yourself, although I guess the girl doesn't need to, she looks like she can march a parade of dicks through that gap in her teeth, and your buddy there looks like an extra from a gay pride parade!" I stated, summoning the greatest asshole I could be.
"What? Man I ain't a fag!" he growled.
"Dude, your eyes aren't even straight, get the hell out of my store." I responded.
The group of teenagers struggled for something to say while I stared them down with possibly the greatest, "I got you bitches!" smirk that I had in my arsenal. They slithered away with their tale between their legs, one of them trying to knock something over but only managed a can of soup that didn't burst.
"Are you okay?" I asked the mystery female employee