I needed the comfort of my girlfriend, my Sarah, the woman I knew I'd be with forever, after the previous night's event. As the camera came on and I saw her face as beautiful as a dream, my heart melted. I knew for now this was all I could have, and I was not going to complain. Her presence through a webcam was enough to bring me a sense of peace. She spoke softly. "Good morning, baby. I, um..." I could feel her trepidation as she struggled to find the right words, tears forming in her eyes.
I tried to make her feel safe. "My beautiful Sarah, how are you feeling? Let's talk openly and honestly about last night. We've always been able to talk about anything, yeah? Let's not stop now. You haven't lost me. I love you." This had a powerful positive effect on her.
"I love you too. Oh thank goodness... I feared the worst." She was overcome with love and began crying tears of joy. After she had settled down, with the occasional sniffle and still wiping away tears, she spoke as the Sarah I've always known. "I still feel like I'm dreaming. It's so surreal. Like, was that me last night? Was that us? When you offered me to him, and when I embraced it, like... what the fuck?" she finished with a laugh. "But then this morning, feeling him spooning against me, his penis wedged between us... I haven't cleaned up yet, so evidence of our joining is still inside me."
She gave me a curious look and asked, "Are you aroused?"
If she was asking that, then we really were going to be honest with each other. "Yes. I can't seem to help it." She angled the camera down and showed me her used pussy. As she had said, the evidence was clear. Dipping her finger in, she brought his semen forward, the freshness of it preserved by her warmth. She wanted me to watch it ooze out of her. I could hardly believe my eyes at how much still poured from her.
As she began to gently touch herself, she lovingly cooed, "Show me your arousal." She had the screen on since her roommate was out for his morning chores. I started to masturbate. She wanted us to have a moment for ourselves since I lost the last to her roommate. Sarah spoke with disbelief. "I encouraged him to impregnate me in front of you." We both lost it at that, each of us moaning for the other as we came together. For a moment we stared at each other, then at the same time we broke into laughter at how crazy it all was.
As we caught our breath, she brought the camera back up as she inquired, "Honey, when you paused before telling me to put my butt back in the air, was it because you knew my roommate was awake?" I was terrified. I put my head down in shame and nodded. She had exposed my deception, my disgusting manipulation, my betrayal of her trust. "So that's when your fantasy came to life and you had me present my nakedness to him. I wasn't masturbating for you, but for him."
My head hung low. I waited for her to go off on me, but her next words surprised me.
"Babe, I'm not angry. In fact I'm happy that you trusted me enough to let me have him. I would never have done that on my own, not with infinite time. You know that, don't you? That's why I made sure it was your decision. I trusted that I could follow your lead."
I was on the verge of tears as I nodded, thinking of how lucky I am to have her. I had to ask, "Do you really want to be pregnant by someone other than me?"
"No, baby, of course not. I want to be pregnant by you like we've always talked about. I'm in love with you. But, well... you know that trust I just mentioned? You trusted me with
your
fantasy of watching me have sex with him. I followed your lead by trusting you with
my
fantasy of that sex being unprotected. Does that make sense?"
"It actually does." You might think I could argue that her fantasy was a problem since unprotected sex could permanently change our lives, but I had seen the truth in her words. It was my fantasy in the first place that
would
change our lives. My fantasy and hers were a package deal. One did not exist without the other. Trusting that I was a mature adult, she assumed at the outset that I accepted what choices she would make as the object of my fantasy. It was hard to find a reason to disagree without sounding childish.
I moved on to the next thing on my mind. "What was up with the cuckold stuff?"
Sarah showed a nervous smile. "I used to masturbate to that stuff before I met you, but that's it. I guess some old habits resurfaced as I lived that fantasy. Before last night, I hadn't thought about those things since we started dating."
I was relieved to hear that. "While those things definitely excited me, they also hurt."
Sarah spoke in a caring tone. "Did it hurt because you thought I might be serious? I said those things within the context of that moment. Honey, remember when you told me it was for both of us? You must have detected the change in my demeanor. That was for both of us. When I saw how excited you were, I just went with it. I'm surprised I took it as far as I did, but I only felt comfortable going that far because I trusted you.
"Even still, I was more scared than you know. In my fear, I turned to the one man I love and trust most in this world to guide me." She was referring to the final choice she gave me. I had no idea that was the motivation behind her giving me one last chance to end the fantasy.
Sarah looked exhausted. "Last night was a shock to my system, like jumping into freezing water. I'll probably feel what his size did to me for days. More importantly, it was overwhelmingly emotional." We both agreed we were not realistically done processing it, and that we would need to be completely honest with each other and keep no thought hidden.
I had to know if I missed anything. When the call ended I was overcome with jealousy as my imagination ran wild. "It was one thing when I was with you, but then you were with him alone... what happened after the battery died?"
Sarah profusely apologized for forgetting to fully charge the battery. "After a few minutes of silence from you, I saw the laptop was off. Since you let me have him, and because I was lost in pleasure, I kept riding him. I had two orgasms before he finished inside me. I was so tired that I just laid on him with his penis in me until I fell asleep. A few hours ago, before sunrise, he took me from behind and came in me a third time." That explained why she still had so much in her. I made an attempt to hide my excitement. Her face showed compassion. "I promise I'm not trying to excite you. I just want to be completely transparent with you." I told her I appreciated that, and I would always rather she give me all of the truth.
Now that I was excited, I said, "I can't deny how sexy you were. I've never seen you like that, like an animal in heat." The tension between us was cleared. She felt much more comfortable speaking freely about this now.
"That's exactly how I felt. I think my animal instincts were turned up to eleven. As I accepted that his sperm would be the first to make an effort in my vulnerable body, it felt like I was forming a primal connection with him. It's hard to explain. With each thrust in that moment, that connection strengthened, and every time it did I felt more alive, and then I would want more. So it was a kind of viscious and pleasurable circle. Now that moment has passed, and I have a hope for you that I don't get pregnant." She let her words sit for a minute, and then asked, "What are you thinking?"
"My love for you hasn't changed. I never expected to be cucked by you, but I trust your explanation." I needed one final question answered. "If you do end up pregnant, how would you feel?"
Sarah looked away as she contemplated. After a few minutes, she looked back and spoke with confidence. "My heart would hurt for you, but ultimately I would be happy because I know you're with me."
It blew my mind that those words could simultaneously be a source of great happiness and sadness. It was so messed up. She would be happy with another man's baby because she trusted me to be with her. "I would never leave you. All I ask now is that we make what happened a one-time thing." I hoped she wouldn't be pregnant, and this could just be something crazy we did once in our life.
"Thank you, baby. I couldn't stand to lose you. I was thinking the same thing. I think for us this should be a one-off. I care more about us than anything else. I love you."
* * * * *
It had been five weeks since that wild night. Sarah had become close friends with much of the tribe now, most of all her roommate. They were becoming best friends, and honestly I was happy she had someone there to be that close with while I was so far away. "He really is a beautiful man. I'm glad the chief picked him to be my roommate. I could see myself falling for someone like him if I wasn't your girlfriend."
Sarah kept her word and had remained faithful to me, though her roommate wasn't exactly subtle in his desire. "He tries to bathe when I do. I think he likes to watch me clean myself. Obviously we've already had sex and he's my best friend, so I actually feel quite comfortable with his eyes on me."
Sarah had also continued in her charitable efforts. She helped construct various new structures. She and her guide were teaching English to those who were interested, and she had learned to speak many words and phrases in their language. I guess that happens when you're immersed in the language as opposed to learning in a class. Her roommate was learning especially quickly since he had extra time with my girlfriend every day in their hut. She'd joke about how they would soon have no need for a translator.
As for us, we were feeling better than ever about each other. We talked through a lot of our feelings and never held back. We were talking more now than when she stayed at the hotel. It felt as though this whole experience brought us closer together. With this whole experience seemingly having strengthened our bond, I knew nothing could break us.