Nightball

Not for a moment did Damian Houghton consider cancelling.

It was January 13, and a massive snowstorm had descended upon Manhattan that morning, making travel virtually impossible. RBS executives were nervous about only having one guest available for the afternoon taping of "Nightball with Damian Houghton," but the host was able to reassure the nervous suits that he could make it work. "Don't worry," he insisted. "You don't realize how funny she is. No one's gonna care that she's the only one on the show."

Luckily for Damian, Abbie Bygrove was staying at the Hilton Club right across the street from RBS Studios, and was more than happy to hear that she could have the whole hour to herself. "Oh, I'm sure Damian and I will have a marvelous time!" she exclaimed.

After a brief lunch, Abbie arrived at RBS studios at 1:00pm, two hours before the taping was scheduled to take place. Once she had her hair and makeup done, she met Damian. She was silent for a moment as she extended her hand.

Damian was just stunning to look at in person--smooth dark skin, hazel-green eyes, closely-cropped dark hair, beautiful lips. He was six-foot-three and very muscular, and Abbie found herself stammering as she tried to say, "So nice to meet you!"

Abbie didn't realize that her looks had the same effect on Damian, who was riveted by her long, silky, reddish-blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, upturned nose with slight dusting of freckles, and soft, luminous pale skin. He wanted so badly to give her hand a gentlemanly kiss, but didn't want to be too forward.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well!"

--

Only twenty people were in the audience for the taping; the show's executive producer, Mark Sullivan, made the call to dismiss the attendees, feeling that with so few of them, it would be like having no audience at all. "Just pretend it's a pandemic show, and you're the only ones permitted to be here," Mark told Damian and Abbie.

At 3:00pm, the taping began, and Damian briefly mentioned the snowstorm's impact on the program before introducing Abbie, who wore a silver sequined dress. As she headed to the stage and embraced Damian, Abbie briefly noticed a clear erection in his slacks. "Holy shit," she muttered to herself as she sat down.

"It is an absolute honor to have you here, Abbie."

"It's an absolute honor to be with you! I feel so alone, though, just the two of us."

"Well, we have the cameraman, Gus, and my producer, Mark..."

Abbie laughed. "No, I mean, just here on this stage."

She playfully touched Damian's hand and he jumped in his seat.

"Yes, it's a very unusual situation."

"My mother told me never to be alone with a man I didn't know...she said you can never know what might happen!"

"Good advice, uh, I think. So, I guess we should start off talking about the new movie, which you also produced. 'Auletris,' based on the book by the late Anais Nin. It came out late last month in New York and Los Angeles, and it's now expanding nationwide. It was certainly, uh...quite stirring."

"Yes, you sound like you were quite stirred up by it."

"Uh, indeed. I read a lot of Anais Nin while I was in college."

"Really?"

"Yes, I found her work so..."

"Stimulating?"

Damian paused. For a moment, he flashed back to his days at Columbia, reading "Little Birds" and "Delta of Venus" at Butler Library and becoming so aroused that he would rush back to Riverside Drive to jack off. Those were the fucking days!

"Yes, very."

"Oh, I thought so," she replied, her eyes twinkling

"I think she'd be very proud of your work."

"Yes, Gillian Leslie and I talked a lot about Nin's vision, and how we wanted to be wholly faithful to it."

"Oh, Gillian also did a fabulous job!" exclaimed Damian. "That was a great profile of her in the Times a couple of weeks ago."

"Yes, she's so giving and so warm. We became quite close making this film."

Damian tried to restrain a smile, imagining Gillian feeling the same lust he felt for Abbie.

"I'd love to see you two collaborate again."

"Oh, yes. I want to work with more female directors, more directors from different backgrounds. If you ever direct anything, I'd love to work with you, too!"

"Really!"

"You seem to have quite the distinctive creative vision yourself!"

"What would give you that impression?"

Abbie smiled. "Call it a hunch."

"OK," Damian laughed. "We'll be right back with Abbie Bygrove. Stick around!"

As they prepared to tape the next segment, Abbie leaned towards Damian.

"Do you mind if I do something? My feet are killing me!"

"Sure."

Suddenly, Abbie removed her silver shoes. "Oh God," he whispered to himself. Abbie's toes looked so soft and lovely, and he imagined himself sucking them and playing with them. She saw him staring at them and laughed.

"OK, Quentin."

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry."

"No worries, mate!"

"Oh, I think I have a lot of worries."

"You know, I just realized why I like you so much. You and I have a lot in common. We're both island kids, you know, me from Tasmania and you from...Long Island."

Damian cracked up. "Never thought of it that way."

--

Damian couldn't remember anything he said in the next two segments. All he could think about was Abbie's sexy feet, and what he wanted to do with them. His brain was in a fog. He was sure she had mentioned something about attending NIDA and winning two Best Actress AACTA Awards, but everything else was a blur.

After the taping concluded, Abbie put her shoes back on and kissed Damian on the cheek.

"You were great. Thank you."

"I was?"

"Yes. You were so well-prepared. It's like you can do this in your sleep!"

"Wow, thanks."

"Hey, come here..."

Suddenly, Abbie grabbed Damian's hand and led him towards the green room. The door locked, and for the next two hours, neither the actress nor the host responded to knocks on the door or calls to their cellphones. Passers-by could hear pounding, loud grunting and passionate moaning, but no responses to calls for them to emerge from the room. One staffer even pulled a fire alarm in hopes that they would leave, but no luck.

Finally, at about 6:15pm, Damian rushed from the room, locking the door behind him. Fifteen minutes later, Abbie left the room and headed back towards the Hilton Club. A TMZ photographer braving the cold and snow caught a photo of a disheveled-looking Abbie entering the hotel.

--

The next morning, comedian Tim McAlany was arrested on cocaine-possession charges in Miami; he was immediately removed as the host of that year's Academy Awards. Damian's name was floated as a replacement host, and he accepted the gig.

Two months later, at the awards ceremony, "Auletris" won three Oscars; Gillian won Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Director, and Abbie won Best Actress. Abbie concluded her acceptance speech with some warm words for the show's host:

"Finally, can I just say what an amazing job Damian Houghton is doing this evening? He is one of the funniest, kindest and, yes, sexiest American men I've ever met. I can tell you from personal experience that he certainly knows how to make a woman feel loved from head to toe!"