Muslim Lesbians of Ottawa

As Salam Alaikum, dear reader. My name is Maimuna Hassan and I'm a young Black Muslim woman of Somali descent living in the City of Ottawa, Ontario. I'm in the Criminology program at the University of Ottawa, and will hopefully graduate next semester. Not sure if I want to do Law School right away or try to get a job in my major. It all depends on the job market out there and the state of my finances.

Insha'Allah, whatever the will of the Most High will be. Life has thrown many hurdles my way recently but I have emerged stronger from them, or so I'd like to think. Life lessons come our way and we've got no choice but to learn from them. Recently, I came out as a lesbian top my family. If you know anything about Somali family dynamics and Islamic culture, then you can pretty much guess how things probably went. Not so good.

"There's nothing more in this whole wide world that's more haram than two women actually having sex, this is disgusting, my daughter, we taught you better than that!" These stern words of rebuke, told in a decidedly harsh and unforgiving tone, came from my Houyo, my dearest mother, Fowziyah "Mommy Fofo" Hassan.

"It's my life!" I replied hotly, and before I could blink, my Houyo slapped me hard across the face. Her reaction stunned the hell out of me, for I wasn't expecting it. My mother is usually soft-spoken and even-tempered. I rubbed my cheek, and the sting I felt didn't hurt half as bad as the look of abject hatred and disgust I saw on my mother's usually joyful and loving face.

"I want you out of here, Maimuna, you need to leave this house until you come to your senses," my mother said angrily, and I nodded and rushed past her, retreating to my bedroom. My face felt hot, and I looked at myself in the mirror, and the sadness and horror I saw there made me wince.

"This is it," I told myself, and just like that, I packed up my belongings and filled two suitcases. Two weeks ago I'd gone to the City of Edmonton, Alberta, to visit my father, Elmi Hassan. I hadn't seen my father in ages, not since he and my Houyo got divorced, and Dad moved to Alberta, where he met Jennifer, the white lady he's currently living with.

I grabbed my belongings, and then headed to the Quality Hotel downtown, riding the number twelve bus from Montreal Road to Dalhousie Street. Once there, I went to the front counter, where a young Indian guy smiled pleasantly at me. I took out my MBNA Mastercard and booked a room for three nights. I've got good credit, thankfully, so the transaction went without a hitch.

I could have gone to a friend's house but word travels fast in the Somali community, and I didn't want to have to deal with the aftermath of my family outing just this minute. That first night, I lay on the hotel bed, and looked at the ceiling, wondering how on earth my life got turned upside down so damn fast. Life is pretty terrible that way!

Twenty four hours ago, I was on cloud nine. I closed my eyes, and remembered. What else could I do? I've got six hundred and ten dollars left on my Scotia Bank checking account and about two hundred in my CIBC savings account. I don't have a place to stay, other than this sterile, generic hotel room. My life is in tatters, seriously. Good thing I've still got my part-time job at Loblaw's otherwise I'd be destitute.

"I'm going to miss you sweetie," said Caroline Lahoud, as we stood in the middle of the Ottawa International Airport, twenty four hours before my life went straight to the darkest pit in hell. I stood inches from the young woman I love, and my heart thundered in my chest when I looked into Caroline's almond-shaped golden brown eyes.

"Me too," I said breathlessly, and I hugged Caroline fiercely. For this young woman truly changed my life. The past few months had been really hectic, but in a really wonderful way. I admitted to myself what I'd been feeling for ages, the fact that I feel sexually and romantically drawn to other girls. And it's all thanks to Caroline Lahoud.

From the moment I laid eyes on the six-foot-tall, raven-haired and bronze-skinned Lebanese Christian beauty, I felt something stirring deep in my chest. Caroline's eyes bore into mine the first time we saw each other in that political science class at the University of Ottawa, and her smile made me melt. My soul stirred, and my body felt warm all over. For Caroline's intense gaze set me on fire, in a most wonderful way...

At first, I fought back, I resisted the attraction I felt for the tall, gorgeous gal from Lebanon. The fact that our professor paired us for an assignment definitely complicated things, but I'm glad it happened. For it afforded Caroline and I the means of spending some time together, and allowed our friendship to blossom. We got to know each other, and the more I learned about Caroline, the more fascinated I became.

Caroline Lahoud was born in Montreal, Quebec, to Arab Christian immigrant parents from Baalbek, Lebanon. She was spending a semester at the University of Ottawa, but intended to graduate in political science at Concordia University. Oh, and Caroline was out and proud as a lesbian, and her family was apparently okay with it.

"Your parents are okay with your lesbian lifestyle?" I asked Caroline, stunned by her revelation, after I pointed out the rainbow buttons on her backpack and asked her about them. Caroline simply shrugged and flashed me that fearless smile of hers. The smile of a woman who knows who she is, and doesn't give a damn what others think.

"It wasn't easy, but my parents eventually came to accept me," Caroline replied, and I looked at her, smiling faintly and marveling at her boldness. As a Somali Muslim woman, I'm quite familiar with the Arabs and their culture. There is much that Somalis and Arabs share. Oh, and whether Christian or Muslim, Arabs tend to be a conservative lot.

"I just told my mom and dad that it's my life," Caroline said, and she fixed those eyes of hers on me, and I blinked, for the intensity I saw in them caused me to feel all kinds of things. I swear, looking into Caroline's eyes is like looking into the sun, sometimes. I definitely admire her for her fearlessness, that's for sure.

"You're so beautiful," Caroline said to me, as we sat inside a quiet corner of the University of Ottawa library. I blushed and smiled at Caroline, then pretended to look at the stack of books in front of me. That's when something amazing happened. Caroline simply took my face in her hands, looked into my eyes, and then...she kissed me.

What followed stunned the hell out of me. For I kissed Caroline back, passionately. I kissed her back as if I'd been making out with girls my whole life, instead of the ingénue that I was at the time. People walking by saw us, and I didn't care. A Hijab-wearing Somali Muslim chick making out with a bold, beautiful young Arab woman. Now you've seen everything, folks.

"Your lips taste sweet," I told Caroline breathlessly, once we came up for air. Caroline grinned, and then, she kissed me again. Just like that, our relationship began and my world changed. A whole universe opened up to me, and I owed it all to Caroline, my first great love.

We began hanging out a lot, going to movies and restaurants together. Even though Caroline was out and proud, she understood my need for privacy. After all, Caroline knew how homophobic a lot of Muslims are and continue to be. I introduced her as my close friend to everyone who knew me, and Caroline was very patient with me. This was my first relationship, my first everything, come to think of it.

One night, as we came home from the movies, I took Caroline's hand and brought it to my lips, and then whispered into her ear that I wanted her. Grinning, Caroline brought me to her place, a one-bedroom spot located near the University of Ottawa campus, by way of Sandy Hill. Once there, we made love, and Caroline set my world on fire.

"You're so beautiful," Caroline whispered to me as I lay on the bed, stark naked, and feeling a bit self-conscious. I'm five-foot-eight, chubby and brown-skinned, a voluptuous and dark-sinned gal in a world that worships skinny white girls. I am proud of myself, but hearing Caroline tell me that I'm beautiful definitely thrilled me.

"Thank you now come closer," I said, and Caroline grinned as she took off her blank tank top, followed by the short red dress and black leggings that she had on. I feasted my eyes on the tall, long-haired and athletically built yet very feminine and gorgeous gal who stood before me. Smiling coyly, I gestured for Caroline to come to me.

Smiling wickedly, Caroline joined me on the bed, and kissed me full and deep. My sexy gal got on top of me, and proceeded to shower me with sweet kisses. I wrapped my arms around Caroline and we began making love. A world of woman opened up to me, mine to explore at last, and I definitely made up for lost time.

I kissed Caroline, and fondled her lovely, small breasts and heard her moan as she cried out my name. I lay there, opening myself up to her, and Caroline licked me all over, sucking on my tits while her hand slipped between my thick thighs, and her fingers went into me. I looked into her eyes and Caroline smiled and began exploring me...

"I've been dying to know what you taste like," Caroline said, smiling, as she kissed her way from my tits to my round belly, and finally, to my crotch. I held my breath as Caroline's face hovered inches from my womanhood, and she looked into my eyes, as if waiting for something.

"The wait is definitely over," I said, smiling wickedly, and Caroline nodded, then buried her face between my legs. I closed my eyes and licked my lips as Caroline began pleasuring me. I felt her tongue on my clit, and her fingers slipped into my cunt, and she began working her magic on me.

That night, I cried out, orgasmic for the first time, and Caroline mercilessly licked and probed me, until she reduced me to a quivering mass in her arms. I kissed her passionately, beyond thankful, and happier than I can ever remembering feeling in my twenty one years upon this earth...

"Glad you had fun, my love, it gets better, I promise," Caroline said, kissing me gently. We lay on the bed, holding each other while talking and laughing. Since I'm one horny gal, as Caroline was delighted to discover, we resumed making passionately love to one another. It was definitely one of the best nights of my life, bar none.

Caroline changed my world, and I fell in love with her. Two women from different worlds, different ethnicities and faiths, different walks of life. We found common ground, and found love with one another. We became inseparable, and I couldn't get enough of my sweet Caroline, in and out of the bedroom. I wanted to be with her forever. Unfortunately, life had other plans.

The semester ended, and Caroline had to return to Montreal, where her school and family waited. We had a tearful, very emotional goodbye in the waiting area of the Ottawa International Airport. We stood there, smiling and crying, as her flight time neared. Finally, I threw caution to the wind and kissed Caroline in front of everybody. Unfortunately, a member of my Masjid happened to be there and took a picture of us kissing. This person shared it with my family. You know the rest.

What does life have in store for me? I don't know. Caroline is in Montreal, and she's got her life and her family over there. I don't want to be a burden to her. So even though I'm dying to hear her voice, I won't call her until I've made my own way out of this mess.

I can't leave Ottawa, not with only a semester left in the Criminology program at my university. I'm too close. I want to have my degree, and one day find a job in my field. I'm going to stick it out. Taking out my laptop, I began looking at apartments on Kijiji. I found one in Nepean, a one-room furnished spot for four hundred a month, and called the landlord, and scheduled for a showing the next day.

Life is what happens while you're making plans, I guess. Two days later, I moved out of the Quality Hotel and straight to my furnished room in Nepean. Not far from the Algonquin College campus. Getting to Ottawa U is going to be tough from Nepean but whatever. My landlord is a nice, friendly old guy from Vietnam, and once I explained my situation, he was most understanding. Oh, he's gay himself. How cool is that? Now that I'm settled, I'm ready to call Caroline.

"Crazy Somali woman, why didn't you call me right away?" Caroline shouted into the phone after I explained to her what happened. I'd just finished unpacking, and was about to head to the Dollar store to buy a few essentials that I would need, now that I'm on my own.

"Caroline, I love you but you've got your own life to worry about," I replied meekly, and I heard Caroline scoff. She wasn't thrilled with my choice of words, and I smiled. I've always been Little Miss Independent, which tends to surprise a lot of people because, apparently, as a Hijab-wearing Muslim chick from Somalia, I'm supposed to be weak and soft.

"Maimuna, my love, if you keep being secretive when you need my help, I'm going to bend you over and spank that thick Somali derriere of yours," Caroline said, laughing. I chuckled softly, heat flushing through me at the thought of such a deliciously erotic scenario.

"Oh I'd like to see that," I said defiantly into the phone, and Caroline launched into a long tirade about how she felt about my secretive ways, and how hurt she felt about my thinking that she wouldn't drop everything and come to me in my hour of need. Went on for about ten minutes, and I had to weather the storm.

"Maimuna, I'm getting on the first Greyhound bus leaving Montreal for downtown Ottawa and that's that, so text me your damn address," Caroline said, and my heart skipped a beat. I smiled, and dictated my new address to Caroline, who wrote it down, and then wished me goodbye, then hung up.

"Cool beans," I said to myself, giggling, and I actually kissed my Blackberry. On my screen was a picture of Caroline and I at the Silver City movie theater, where we'd watched the historical movie Belle, starring my long-time crush, biracial actress Gugu Mbatha-Raw. I'm waiting, I whispered as I lay on my bed, counting the hours till I headed to the Greyhound Station to pick up my beloved Caroline.