I first met Juan Carlos at a dance on campus. As usual it was one of those boring dances where they played whack music with non-dancing people moving to it off beat. I was about to leave when I saw him standing with a group of my white friends from the dorms. Usually I just speak to them passing in the halls, but I started thinking: you know maybe I should really take the time to get to know him-I mean them, better.
As I approached, he stood on the end of their small circle smoking a cigarette and squinting as the smoke burned his eyes. I watched his lips wrap around that cigarette and suddenly wished I had a filter he could lick. I said hello to my friends and nodded in his direction but he didn't move. He just stood there, silently smoking and not returning my greeting. He was fine but damn he was stuck up!
I decided to ignore him, kind of. I talked to my friends about stupid things like the upcoming football game and the bad cafeteria food. I couldn't help but allow my eyes to drift back to him. He was beautiful! He had dark olive skin, a slight five o'clock shadow, deep black eyes with thick lashes, and shoulder length curly black hair. He watched me watching him, still not speaking. He smiled slyly, slowly licking his lips, taunting me.
At that point I suddenly decided I wanted to dance. I had to cover up my sweating in some way before I was found out. I dragged my friends out onto the floor, leaving Juan Carlos to stand on the sidelines, lighting another cigarette. Thank God I wasn't close enough to watch this time.
"So what's with your friend?" I screamed to my friend Ken once we got out to the floor.
"What do you mean?" he screamed back.
"He's not very social," I said, nodding in the direction of Juan Carlos who still stood on the sidelines, still watching me.
"Oh. Well that's because he doesn't speak English. He's an exchange student."
"Oh," I said, looking at him again. He was still watching me. His eyes slipped down my body and even though he was far away I could feel his gaze making me hot all over.
"Why isn't he dancing?" I asked, watching as his eyes rested on my *bleep* since he had a sideview of me. I fought the urge to adjust my position, knowing I didn't want to really.
"I don't know, that's a good question," Ken said. The next thing I knew he had run to where Juan Carlos stood and pulled him out onto the dance floor. He was a very good dancer. Very good with his hips I noticed. We all took turns dancing with each other, but I kept my eyes on Juan Carlos' hips. At least that's what I convinced myself I was looking at. I watched as my friend Kara danced dirty with Juan, turning her back to him, grinding her ass into that precious crotch I'd been watching all night. He responded to her, holding her hips tightly and grinding into her for all he was worth. I tried not to watch but I couldn't help myself. He looked up at me, catching my eye as he thrust his hips into her again, making orgasmic faces. I couldn't tell if he was taunting me, or pretending that she was me. I chose the first option.
I looked away, trying to concentrate on my own partner. I couldn't help looking at them as they got more into their dance-Kara was completely bent over, bracing herself on the floor as Juan went at her from behind. My jealously finally got the best of me and I slipped away to go outside and get some air. Despite my medium-brown skin, I knew I was red. And it wasn't the heat from the dancing that was doing it.
I walked outside to the balcony which was nearly empty. Only one couple was there making out. The music inside was so loud I could still hear it clearly. The air was warm despite a small breeze and the moon shined brightly even though it was only half-full. Inside, "Night Nurse" by Gregory Issacs started to play and unable to help it, I began to move. That song always did strange things to me.
Focusing on the moon I moved slowly, trying to imagine that Juan Carlos was there with me, doing things that Kara would never experience with him. Hypnotized by the brightness of the moon despite its heavy lidded, half-gaze, I let my hands roam my body until they were joined by someone else's. I instantly knew whose they were.