It was wrong. Forbidden. It was dirty. Sinful.
It was amazing.
I know why I did it. I wanted it. I needed it. That fire that I'd nearly forgotten about. The intensity of those moments when two bodies burn to touch each other. To feel each other in the most sinful of ways. That's what I wanted. What I needed. That passion. That's what had been lacking in my marriage for far too long.
I started too young, I think. Maybe if I had waited a few more years and not had my first child before I could legally drink, it wouldn't have happened. My wild oats were placed in a plastic baggy and forgotten in storage. Never giving me the chance to sew them myself. To see what they would become.
My marriage, my dull marriage, drove me to it, I believe. A husband who ignores his wife for video games until he goes to bed, who tells her she is in his way when she comes up for something as simple as a kiss, who's idea of foreplay is telling her she has too much clothing on, would drive any woman who isn't dead below the waist to do what I did.
We exchanged emails for some time before I gathered the courage to invite him him over. As I wrote the email telling him he could come by, my hands shook. I could feel the knots in my stomach and throat. For someone who is prone to severe panic attacks, taking a risk like this was a very big thing.
Then I got the reply. "I'll be there in twenty minutes," he wrote back.
I checked to make sure the kids were sleeping, brushed my long, blond hair and dabbed on a little perfume. My hands continued to shake as I flicked on the porchhh light and went to wait for him outside.
I sat near the door, on the brick edge of a small raised garden. It was a warm night. Like any night in June in Las Vegas. As I waited, I wondered. I wondered what would happen. Would he be some psycho killer? Would he look anything like his pictures? Would I be attracted to him? Would he be attracted to me?
My mind went back to it's teenage innocence while I waited. I wondered if he would kiss me. Sex never entered my mind. I wouldn't let him come into the house. I made sure not to clean the mess the kids had made earlier in the day. I wouldn't be talked into anything I didn't want to do.
I remembered the intensity of a first kiss from my teenage days as I lit a cigarette to calm my nerves. I remembered the butterflies one feels just as your lips touch the lips of the other person for the very first time. If I liked this man, I'd want just that. Just a kiss. I'd be disappointed if he left without giving me one.
Half way through my cigarette, a white car turned onto my street. I'd never seen that car before so I knew it had to be him. Especially when that white car parked right in front of my house. No turning back now, I thought.
I rose to my feet as he got out of the car and approached me. As he came into the light, my mouth watered. What a gorgeous Asian man, I thought. I thanked God he was taller than I am. At 5'6" my height is usually even to most Asian men I see.
When he got up to me we wrapped our arms around each other in a hello hug. As I hugged him his scent filled my lungs. Such a wonderful smell. The type of smell that can make a woman swoon, nearly moan.
We sat and talked. He spoke with an accent. That accent native to Korea. I couldn't get enough of it. We talked about marriage, kids, work, his family, my family, the economy, pregnancy, what birth control I was on, even breastfeeding. He was amazed that after three kids, my body snapped back to where it was before children so quickly. I was amazed at how good his English was considering he came to America when he was a boy and didn't speak a lick of English.
At one point the conversation turned to my attraction to Asian men. He asked when I started liking them. I told him it all started when I first saw Lethal Weapon 4. "Jet Li," we both said at the same time. His in the form of a question. He knew from our emails that I had never been with an Asian man. When he asked why, I had to tell him about my family and their beliefs. White with white. Black with black. Mexican with Mexican. It's not their fault. Just how they were brought up.
I looked down at my hands during a moment of silence. They were still shaking. I don't think I was scared anymore. I was excited. I raised my hand to eye level and spoke. "My hands are shaking," I told him with a smile. That smile was on my face from the moment I saw him. I couldn't help it.
"Why are you shaking?" he asked with the same smile. That beautiful smile he had from the moment I saw him.
"I don't know," I told him. I could feel my cheeks heating up. My body's way of telling me I was blushing. "Just nervous, I guess."
"Don't be nervous," he told me as he brought his hand over and placed it over mine.
I looked down at his hand holding onto mine. His skin was so much darker than my own. His hands were bigger than my husbands. Which I liked. I couldn't help but to notice the different contrasts our skin had. I loved it. I soaked up the moment. I'd never had a hand so much darker than my own holding onto mine.
"I can't help it."
"Maybe this will help," he told me.
Before I knew it, he reached up and turned my head towards his. I could sense his confidence as his lips touched mine and his tongue instantly found its way into my mouth. My heart pounded as his smooth tongue explored my own, as his hands began to explore my body.
That beautifully dark hand which held onto mine a moment earlier got no resistance from me as it went under my shirt and cupped my breast. His fingers moved slightly and fondled my hard pink nipple. My breathing quickened as the intensity of his kiss continued. No one had ever kissed me like that before.
It was probably only a moment or two before he stopped. He told me it was too bright, that he didn't want my neighbors seeing us. I'd have to agree. Caught up in the moment, I didn't think of my neighbors seeing me making out with some Korean man forty minutes after my white husband had left for work. The last thing I needed was my husband finding out what I was doing.
So we stood and headed for the back yard hand in hand. I let go of his hand to reach over and unlock the fence. My mind was blank. All I could think about was how exciting that moment was as we walked into the back yard to the side of the house.
When we reached the back door on the side of the house he pressed my back to it and instantly pressed his lips to mine again. His hand had rediscovered the softness of my breast. His lips moved down to my neck and a sexual
arousal filled me to my core. One that I'm not sure I've ever felt before.
His lips continued down as his hand pulled my breast out of the safety of my shirt and bra. My breath quickened again as he clasped his warm mouth onto my breast, sucking on my nipple. My stomach clenched with excitement. I'd let him do anything he wanted at that moment. My body was his for the taking.
After a few moments he rose his head back up and returned his lips to mine. His hands moved down towards the zipper of my jeans. I probably should have told him to stop. But I couldn't. My body wouldn't let me. I wanted this man. This Korean man. And nothing was going to stop me.
The zipper and button were undone before I knew it. He pushed my pants down to the middle of my thigh and dropped to his knees. I let out a soft moan as his tongue came from his mouth and pressed itself onto my clit. I ran my fingers through his short, jet black hair as he sucked my clit, causing me to bite my lip.
I continued to breathe heavy as he moved his hand between my legs and pressed a finger up into me. Yes, his hands were definitely bigger than my husbands. My next moan was a bit louder than the first, showing my satisfaction.
I wondered how I could have gotten so lucky. To have this gorgeous Asian man on his knees in front of me. Pleasuring me in the most amazing way.
After a few moments he rose back to his feet, leaving me breathless, and kissed me again. With the same passion as the first time he kissed me just minutes earlier. His hands explored my body while my arms found their place around his body, holding him tight. His body felt firm, not... Oh what's the word...? Soft, like my husband's body.
His hands moved away from me and down to the button of his own pants. My hands followed. In the excitement, I think my hands were still too shakey to help him. I couldn't even find the button or zipper, let alone undo them.
He kissed me again as his hand rose to my shoulder. He broke the kiss as he softly pushed down on my shoulder, letting me know what he wanted. I moved down, my bare backside covered only by the darkness of the night, and got to my knees.
I didn't hesitate. Not for a second. I brought up a hand and wrapped it around his already rock hard shaft. My mouth followed less than a second later. I opened my mouth and placed the head of his cock into my mouth.