Ane

Just as she predicted, Ian gave her a blow by blow of his time at Dina's. He talked almost non stop from the time he got into the car.

"We had hotdogs and baked beans for supper and rice krispie treats for dessert. Me and mom mom played a game and I let her win..."

Carla only half listened as Ian chattered about the movie, he must have asked her a question more than once.

"Mama! Are you listening to me?" he asked rather indignantly.

"I'm sorry baby, I was thinking about something. What did you say?"

"I asked if daddy was still coming over tonight."

"Yes, I believe so." Carla replied.

Ian gave her one of his odd looks and started talking about the movie again.

Carla forced herself to pay attention to what Ian was saying. Once again she wondered where in the hell his brains had come from.

Ian looked over at Carla and smiled, she was already better and that made him very, very happy.

"Did you do your schoolwork today?" Carla asked.

"All done and I even did extra." Ian replied.

This was how he was going through the programs so fast but not wanting to discourage him, Carla smiled.

"Good job! Does pizza sound good for dinner?

Kane was waiting on the porch when they pulled up. Ian barely gave the car time to stop before jumping out and running up the steps.

"Daddy!"

"Hey kiddo!" Kane greeted, "how are you?"

"Good." Ian replied and then remembered Carla.

Ian ran back down the steps and met Carla partway.

"I'll carry it." he said taking the pizza away from her.

Carla nodded at Kane as she walked by.

"Hello Carla." Kane said pleasantly.

Ian ate his dinner as fast as he could without Carla telling him to slow down.

"Ian." Kane said, "How are you doing with the blood?"

"Good, I'm not hungry right now though. Mama may I be excused?"

"Ok, you can have some ice cream later." she replied.

Ian grinned, Ice Cream ranked right up there with pancakes and rice krispie treats. Carla watched as he ran off, happy that he was happy.

"Do you have any questions for me?" Kane asked after Ian was gone, "I gave you a lot to think about."

"The only question I had was about the bond and you say that it can't be broken and I'm going to live forever whether I like it or not which in retrospect, may not be such a bad thing; I just wish that I had a choice. At any rate, both of those are things that I can't do anything about so there's no point in bemoaning the fact. The only thing that matters in any of this is Ian, as angry as I am at the both of us; we have to have some kind of working relationship if only for him. Do you agree?"

"Totally." Kane replied, "I suppose that you've come up with a list of ground rules?"

"Only one, we keep Ian out of our issues. Are we in agreement?"

Kane liked her practical no nonsense approach, she wouldn't hesitate to tell him to fuck off.

"Agreed. As far as Ian's education is concerned, I would like to take care of anything that he might need. Of course any new curriculum I will run by you first, is that alright?"

Carla couldn't think of a reason why not and just maybe he knew more about the universe than she did.

"So how well read are you on the universe?" she asked.

Kane gave her a blank look and then understood.

"I have some knowledge but I don't know half as much as he does." He replied with a smile.

Carla smiled back; maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all.

It was relatively early yet and Kane was upstairs with Ian, Carla could hear his happy laughter and realized that while she had heard him laugh many times; it never sounded as happy as it did now. She now understood that even though he had never said it or even implied it; he wanted and needed his father.

Kane was finding out just how intelligent and perceptive Ian was. Ian told him things that he didn't even know for as old as he was. What Kane found interesting was how in one moment, Ian would be like any other five year old and then in the next he would be like an adult. At the moment he was a combination of the two.

"Do you love my mama?"

The question caught Kane off guard but he recovered quickly.

"Yes, I love the both of you very much." Kane replied.

"Why is she so mad at you?"

"That's a conversation for your mom and me to have."

Mature or not, Kane wasn't going to have this conversation with a five year old.

"You hurt her didn't you?" Ian asked, his eyes flashing in anger.

"Fuck." Kane thought, the boy was only five and he was already showing signs of being a force to be reckoned with.

"I hurt her yes and for that I am sorry."

"Are you going to hurt her again?" Ian asked his small voice intense.

Kane answered carefully.

"I give you my word that I will neither hurt nor leave either of you again."

Kane watched as Ian relaxed, his eyes had stopped flashing and the intensity in his voice was gone.

"So Ian, what kind of food does your mom like?" Kane asked.

"She like Japanese food and she likes the hamburgers at Denny's." he replied.

"If I wanted to take her out to dinner, which one would she like better?" Kane asked.

"The Japanese one, are you taking mama out to dinner?"

"I would like to." Kane replied, "Lets see if your mom wants to go to a movie."

Ian immediately became an excited five year old boy wanting to know if he could have popcorn and soda at the movie.

Carla knew that something was up when they both came down the stairs.

"It's early and I was thinking that we could go to a movie." Kane said.

"I don't.....'

"Please mama?" Ian interrupted, "I promise to get ready for bed as soon as we get back and you won't have to tell me. Please?" he begged.

Ian could be hard to resist when he begged and he knew it. That was why he did it so rarely and it always worked when he did. Ian waited for her answer already knowing that she would say yes.

"Alright but no soda with the popcorn." she replied.

Ian jumped up and down and ran upstairs to get his jacket with Carla following close behind.

Carla was partly dressed when she realized that chances were good that they would run into someone she knew but she couldn't not go; she wasn't about to let Ian go somewhere with a man that she barely knew even if he was his father. She could only hope that they wouldn't run into anyone, she wasn't ready to explain Kane to anyone.

Kane knew what Carla was thinking, she didn't want to explain who he was although anyone with eyes could see that Ian was his son. Carla would just have to get used to the fact that he was here to stay and that people would see them, as a matter of fact the sooner she got used to them being seen together the better.

Ian came down first followed by Carla. Kane looked at her appreciatively and chuckled when Carla blushed. Ian looked at Carla and then Kane giving him what Kane thought to be a non-verbal warning.

Any hopes that Carla had of running into anyone were dashed the moment they stepped into the theater.

"Carla!" a familiar voice called, it was none other than Dina with her date for the night.

Carla was going to try to ignore her but Ian heard Dina call Carla's name.

"Aunt Dina!" he called.

Dina made her way over to them stopping short when she saw Kane holding Ian's hand. Her eyes widened as she saw the resemblance between Kane and Ian. They widened even more when she recognized Kane.

Carla cursed silently when Dina turned to look at her, her eyes filled with confusion and hurt.

"Hi, I'm Dina; I'm supposed to be Carla's best friend." she said extending her hand.

"This is my dad!" Ethan exclaimed proudly once again a five year old.

"I'm Kane, its nice to meet you; Ian speaks highly of you and your mother." Kane replied shaking Dina's hand.

"So how long have you been in town?"

"A few days, I just bought a home here."

This was news to Carla but that wasn't important tight now, Dina was furious.

"Welcome and I hope you like it here. Carla, can I talk to you for a minute?" Dina asked, her tone suggesting that she wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Dina grabbed Carla by the hand and yanked her to a corner.

"What the hell Carla? That's the guy from O'Malley's! He's Ian's father?"

"Dina, I..."

"Tomorrow, my house at one, my mother will watch Ian and you're not going to hand me that bullshit about how you were raised."

Dina stomped off without a backwards glance stopping to kiss Ian on the cheek before rejoining her date.

"Shit."

Kane could see that Carla was upset but he ignored it as he led Ian to theatre 2 with her following close behind. They sat with Ian sitting between them which suited Carla just fine, she had to figure out how to explain to her best friend why she didn't tell her about Kane.

Kane used the time to decide on how to deal with Carla, as angry as she was; she was being drawn to him. It was to his advantage that she could take whatever he threw at her; she proved that on the night he told her everything. He wasn't going to coddle her, starting tonight, they were going to talk.

Ian was so engrossed in the movie that he wasn't aware of Carla's tension and Kane's distraction. Ian wanted to stop for ice cream but Carla didn't want to chance someone else seeing them.

"We have ice cream at home." she said as she walked out of the theater.

When they got back Kane pulled Ian aside.

"I need to talk to your mom for a few minutes, do you mind playing with your computer game until I call you?"

Ian eyed Kane and then nodded.

Carla was in the kitchen slamming bowls on the table. Kane stood back and watched. She's going to be fun to fight with he thought as a spoon went flying across the room. Carla stopped mid slam when she saw Kane watching.

"This is your fault!" she said as she continued slamming things around.

"I will accept blame for anything that I've done but not for the fact that your friend is angry with you." Kane replied as he picked the spoon up off of the floor.

"We were fine before you came; people had stopped asking where you were!"

Kane considered his response.

"I beg to differ, you weren't fine and neither was Ian and deep down you know that. But that's not what this is about, the real issue is us and you know it. You're as mad as hell and we won't be able to move on until you scream, cry, throw things or whatever it is that you do when you're angry and you say what's really on your mind. I'm going upstairs with Ian, we'll talk again later."

He didn't give her a chance to respond, he didn't even look back as he walked away.

Carla was flabbergasted, just who in the hell did he think he was? But he was right in one thing, it wasn't his fault that Dina was mad at her, and he was right about something else, she was mad at him and had been from the moment he tried to make her forget, but it wasn't just that, she was furious with herself. It didn't matter why she went with him, it only mattered that she did and he didn't have to compel her, what did that say about her?

"Is mama mad?" Ian asked.

"That's an understatement but yes." Kane replied.

"Is she mad at you again?" he asked.

"Yes but she's mad at herself too but I hope for not too much longer" Kane replied.

Carla picked up whatever objects that landed on the floor during her tirade, she needed Kane to go; she needed to think and she couldn't do it with him yapping at her.

True to his word, Ian got ready for bed without being told. He was already in bed when Carla went to his room; Kane was sitting on the floor. Ian said his prayers and this time adding a prayer for Kane to live with them. Inadvertently, Ian was helping Kane; Carla wouldn't discount anything that Ian wanted, she might say no but not without thinking about it first.

They kissed Ian good night and went back downstairs. Kane sat on the couch and got comfortable.

"What do you do for a living?" he asked.

"I teach online English classes, it pays well and it allows me to stay home with Ian."

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Not really but it's a means to an end." she replied.

"I'm into imports and exports, banking; boring stuff."

When Carla didn't respond, he continued.

"Ian says that you like Japanese food."

Carla's patience snapped.

"Obviously you have something to say so just say it!"

"You're right, I do but so do you." Kane replied.

"I don't have anything to say to you."

Kane shrugged and smiled at her.

"I don't believe you but be that as it may, I still want to take you to dinner, I thought that we could get to know each other a little better."

"No." Carla replied offering no explanation.

"You have no interest in knowing the man who is going to be teaching and helping you raise our son?" Kane asked knowing that he had just hit below the belt but it had the expected result-almost.

The one thing that Carla hated more than anything that she could think of was being manipulated and that's what Kane was doing. What made it worse was that he was using Ian to do it.

"I thought that we agreed to keep Ian out of this." Carla said.

"We did." Kane agreed.

"Then why are you using him to manipulate me into going out to dinner with you?"

Kane didn't try to make excuses.

"It seems to be the only way I can get to talk to you...."

"Talk about what exactly? How I got into the car of a strange man and had unprotected sex? Is that what you want to talk about?"

"Are you forgetting what I told you?" Kane asked, "You would have come with me anyway, neither of us really had a choice."

"There's always a choice!" Carla shot back, "you could have left me alone and found someone else but I had a choice too, I could have stayed with my friends but I didn't. Instead I went to your car, never in my entire life have I done anything so reckless! This is...."

Carla stopped herself.

"Say it." Kane said quietly, "put the blame where it really belongs."

Carla didn't respond.

"Carla, this isn't your fault, none of it is. I'm the one who left you alone and pregnant, do you understand that you had no choice? I know that you think you did but you didn't and in the end neither did I, that's why I came back."

"So this is about your guilt? You've got that little boy upstairs thinking that you care about him and all this is about is your guilt?"

Kane tensed and tamped down his own rising anger.

"You can doubt my motives and feelings for you as much as you like but don't you ever call into question my feelings for Ian, he is not the issue here and as we agreed, he stays out of this. I was wrong to try to use him and I apologize for that but this is about us and five years worth of pain and anger about something that you insist is your fault when it isn't."

"I can't do this right now; I need for you to go." Carla said as she stood up, she felt the beginnings of a headache and she was tired.

"Fine, but this is far from over, as you can see; I'm a very stubborn man. I'm going to say goodnight to Ian before I leave."

Ian was still awake when Kane walked into his room.

"Is mama alright?" he asked, his voice tense.

"She's still angry but she's alright." Kane assured him.

Ian closed his eyes and was quiet for so long that Kane thought that he had fallen asleep; he was going to leave when Ian spoke.

"Maybe you should tell mama that you love her before you go home, she might feel better."

Somehow Kane doubted that but it certainly couldn't hurt. He chuckled at the fact that he was taking the advice of a five year old.

Carla was sitting where Kane left her. Her eyes were closed and wet, she had to have heard him come down the stairs but she didn't acknowledge him in any way.

"I'm leaving now but I'll be back tomorrow evening. I know that you don't believe this but Carla, I do love you and Ian."

Kane left not giving her a chance to respond.

Carla forced herself to get up only then remembering that she had promised Ian ice cream. It surprised her that he hadn't reminded her, she would have to take him to Dairy Queen for a treat. She jumped when she opened her bedroom door to see Ian sitting on her bed.

"Ian? What's wrong?" she asked forgetting her anger.

"Nothing, I just wanted to tell you goodnight and tell you that I love you." he said as he stood and walked toward her. When he reached her, he wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug.

"I love you too." Carla replied as she hugged him back.

Carla took two aspirin and took a hot shower. She wasn't looking forward to her meeting with Dina.

Dina was waiting for her when she pulled up, walking up to the car when it stopped. Ian jumped out and ran into the house before Carla could say anything. Dina gave her a hurt look and walked toward the back of the house without speaking.

Carla had never seen Dina this mad and braced herself.

For several minutes neither woman spoke, Carla decided to speak.

"Dina..."

"Shut the fuck up Carla." Dina said quietly.

Carla was shocked into silence, she had never heard Dina use a swear word any stronger than damn.

"This is what I don't understand" Dina said, "I thought that we were friends, actually more than that. I consider you a sister and mom thinks of you as a daughter. And Ian we just love to death even though we don't know what in the hell he's talking about. For more than five years, you've carried the secret of what happened that night at the bar. We know that you sang, then Kane sang but then we don't remember what happened between that and when we left to take you home. Mary and I used to talk about it and came up empty and then you show up pregnant and you wouldn't talk to us. We went through that pregnancy with you and still you wouldn't talk and when Ian was born and we asked you about his father who was obviously white you pulled that things you just don't talk about bullshit, well guess what? Today you talk and you're not leaving here until you do.

"Dina you wouldn't have understood."

"How do you know? You never gave us a chance!" Dina replied.

Carla closed her eyes and opened them.

"You want to know what happened? Fine, I'll tell you. I went out with you and Mary and had unprotected sex with a stranger in the back seat of his car like a whore, the result of that was a little boy that I love more than my own life. That's it. End of story."

"Why didn't you tell us? Did you think that we would have dropped you as a friend or been appalled? We wouldn't have been and I speak for Mary when I say that. All we've ever wanted for you was for you to be happy but Carla, you've got to start trusting people-I don't know what screwed up rationale your family had for teaching you not to trust but it's not right. I only met Kane once but I can tell that he really cares about Ian and maybe you too."

"I don't want to talk about that, the only person I want him to care about is Ian."

Dina looked at Carla closely.

"Carla, what's really going on here?"

"Nothing, I'm fine and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Kane but how do you say to your friends that you acted like a whore."

"Carla, who are you really mad at? Twice you've referred to yourself as a whore and you aren't, you made what you consider to be a mistake but maybe it wasn't; but whatever it was you've got to stop being so hard on yourself, yes it was out of character but its done and being mad about it isn't going to change it. I think that you and Kane have some talking to do. Now give me some love."

The two women hugged, Carla relieved that their friendship was intact. Dina asked several valid questions, the biggest one being who was she really angry at? Kane.

Ian was elated with the unscheduled Dairy Queen stop.

"Well I did forget to give you ice cream last night and you didn't even complain about it."

Ian looked at her with the look that she knew very well; he was going to ask her a hard question.

"Mama? Why can't daddy stay with us?"