Sienna sped to Jason's apartment with mental clarity for the first time in a long time. She was driving so fast, catching all the yellow lights. She was glad there weren't any cops around. She was elated and felt so light, like a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
She loved Jason plain and simple. If he still loved her, she would never let him go.
She parked down the street and briskly walked towards his building. Was his building always this far?
She couldn't wait to see him, even if it was a frustrated or mad look on his face. She had to see him. She had no idea what he would say or if he would take her back. Lord knows, she didn't deserve it. But she had to apologize... she had to tell him how she felt.
She finally walked through the impressive doors of his building. The lobby area already brought back memories; it seemed like a lifetime ago. It was an old Victorian building with massive marble columns holding its structure up. They had completely renovated it to be stylishly modern while keeping the essence of the building's age. It had an alluring character, Sienna wondered how much heartache and joys its walls witnessed.
She heard the elevator ding and her face parted in a smile when she saw him.
Why was he walking so slowly? She blinked several times and realized it wasn't him; it wasn't even close to looking like him. It was an elderly man who walked slowly with a bag in his hand. She must really be losing it.
Sienna was about to walk straight to the elevator to go to his floor but was stopped by armed security. That was new.
He asked a list of questions and wanted her license and phone number. Undoubtedly this had to do with the whole Suzy ordeal; security in Jason's building was now a lot tighter.
Sienna waited patiently; nervously as the man rang for Jason...he was the only one who could walk her up.
Seconds seemed like hours.
Sienna could hear the long rings on the end of the receiver. Maybe Jason couldn't hear the phone ring she reasoned. She desperately just wanted to see him, she tried to convince the security guard to just let her go up and knock on his door.
"Impossible." The man said. His voice was stern but his eyes were kind.
Unfortunately, after the man called him twice it was evident Jason was not in.
This is not how the story is supposed to go, Sienna thought.
This is so frustrating! Another pang of guilt coursed her veins as she thought of what Jason had gone through this past month. She didn't want to call him she needed to see him.
Sienna sighed. She would just have to wait.
Sienna didn't leave a message at the front desk and slowly walked back.
She moved her car when she found a parking spot a little farther down but under a big shady tree. As she sat she made herself comfortable and rolled down her window. She was not going to leave. She would stay there all day and night if she had to.
Sienna looked out of her window and observed people walking by. It's so easy to just not notice people when there are so many. For such a loud busy city, she couldn't hear anything but the chirping birds and faint sound from her radio.
She smiled and her stomach fluttered when she observed the elderly man who she confused with Jason meet an elderly woman and grab hold of her hand. His snow white hair glimmered in the sunlight. The woman's deep wrinkles shifted into a smile when he pulled out flowers from the bag he carried.
There was a mother who securely grabbed her little daughter's hand as they crossed the street. The little girl had a styled bun high on her head. She squirmed in her ballet outfit but skipped along next to her mom.
Outside the little French cafe on the corner, there was a tall barista who brought out a tray of espressos and pastries to a group of friends. The friends laughed loudly, apparently recalling stories of each other.
Sienna smiled as she felt so much life around her. How could she be so absent from the living for so long? Even before she met Jason, she didn't exactly live life to the fullest. She was just there. With so much life around her and she realized she had wasted so much time. She vowed to never waste time again, starting with Jason. He was the key ingredient she needed to feel completely alive.
Sienna closed her eyes and enjoyed the breeze. It wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold. The pleasant breeze gently caressed her face and hair.
She inhaled her city's smells. It smelled like peanuts roasting in cinnamon and sugar. The smells lulled her and calmed her nerves as she waited for the man she loved.
A sense of peace swept over her.
After about an hour she was still sitting in her car. She aimlessly scanned channels on her radio while her thoughts were surprisingly quiet.
Her finger released the seek button when she heard a familiar deep drum beat and then a swaying melody. Her lips quirked a smile as she remembered the inevitable lyrics to come. She looked up and slightly nodded towards the heavens as if in appreciation of the next words she would hear...
Let me be patient, let me be kind
Make me unselfish without bein' blind
Though I may suffer, I'll envy it not
And endure what comes, 'cause he's all that I got and tell him
Sienna's eyes pooled with unshed tears when the chorus sang on. Lauryn Hill surely must have and written and foretold this song just for her.
Now I may have faith, to make mountains fall
But if I lack love, then I am nothin' at all
I can give away, everything I possess
But I'm without love then I have no happiness
I know I'm imperfect and not without sin
But now that I'm older all childish things end and tell him...
Just then, she saw Jason approaching his building. Her heart pounded deeply in sync with the music.
Sienna inhaled and exhaled.
As she was about to leave the car, she noticed something wasn't right. She squinted her eyes because Jason was walking next to a gorgeous blonde woman. Oh no, it couldn't be. A lingering slither of doubt threatened to overcrowd her thinking.
But then Lauryn's voice whispered...
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
Sienna got a burst of desperate energy. She scrambled out of the car and ran towards the building; her heart still beat in sync with the song now engrained in her mind.
Jason's back was facing Sienna and he still hadn't noticed there was anyone coming towards him. But he had this odd feeling, impelling him to look back. He was confused when he saw a crazed running woman coming towards him. His eyes widened at the recognition of Sienna.
Sienna slowed from her run and jumped into hugging him. She kissed him passionately while clinging to him. He had barely managed to grab her but held her in the kiss momentarily forgetting everything else around him.
The kiss lingered as they relished in the sweet taste of reunion. Their tongues dueled while they embraced each other for what seemed like an eternity. He tasted even better than she remembered.
She felt like she was home, like she never left.
When their lips parted there was a spilt second of complete silence.
"I love you... I-I" Sienna whispered.
Jason's gorgeous face parted in a smile and he kissed her again. This time he took control of every movement. His tongue gently massaged hers in a lovely erotic dance.
They heard someone clearing their throat and Jason ended the kiss. He placed Sienna on the floor but kept his arm around her.
"I'm sorry Jacquelyn, I forgot you were there."
