Sue handed me the envelope and left the house. She had been crying I could see by her red-rimmed eyes and the sniffles as she walked away from me. My anger was still alive and in the front of my thoughts. I went to the desk in my den and sat down.
I started to read the letter she had written me. As I read I realized that she was spilling out everything that she had been doing for the last year, or almost everything anyway. I stopped reading and went over to the bar. After making myself a very large bourbon and coke I then sat back down and began to read again.
A while into reading her 'confessions' I found that my tears were interfering with my ability to read well. I had to get a grip on myself! This must have been hard for her to write to me, telling all like she was. As hard as it must have been for her, I was finding out that it was extremely hard on me to read about her sluttish actions.
Parts of the letter had caused my heart to pound, beating in a rapid rhythm. I had cold sweats, and was shaking. I couldn't tell if it was from my anger towards her, or something else.
I learned how Greg, the photographer, had managed to seduce and blackmail her with the drugged tea. How my boss had started this whole mess due to his desire of having my wife. How that bastard Greg had used my wife as his personal whore.
Through my tears and torn heart I realized that I still loved Sue. Why, I wasn't sure, but I did still love her. How she really felt about me, I didn't know. I had questions about how we could go on as a married couple, or even if we should try. Would she still 'need' strange cocks? Would she be satisfied with just having me? Could she ever go back to being a happy devoted housewife?
I knew that the road ahead of us was going to be a long and torturous one. I only hoped that if I decided to try to salvage our marriage that Sue would still want to be my wife, and only have me as her sexual partner from now on.
The other questions I had were about Greg. Why hadn't he tried to take her again? What was he waiting for? I knew that he couldn't stay away from his number one slut. When would he or his cohorts try to do something? What would they do?
The other problems could be managed somehow. We could act surprised about any discoveries of those films and pictures on the Internet. We could even come up with a blanket story to dismiss any questions. Since I was going to be looking for another job I decided that if we stayed as man and wife we should go far away.
Sue stayed away for six hours or so. When she got back we didn't talk about anything. I went for a long walk, thinking back over our past lives and the good things about our marriage. I guess I was trying to wipe out all of the images of the last days and the words both spoken and unspoken between us.
When I got home Sue had cooked up a good meal. We ate in silence, Sue not eating much at all. After dinner we sat in the living room and began the first of many long talks. We were trying to find out about each other's thoughts and feelings without being confrontational. It was a very difficult discussion to start, and even harder to stay calm while hearing things you expect to hear, but don't want to hear.
"Sue, where do I stand in your life now?" My question was I suppose, for my ego. I needed to hear her say I still counted in her life.
"John, I have always held you in the number one place in my heart and in my life. I know that what you have learned about me in the last days have been a shock to your system. Please remember that I have been forced, always forced to do these things. I will admit that when I am in the middle of it all I get lost in the feelings running through my body. The effects of the drugged tea are still haunting me I think."
"How long do you think that the feelings the tea has given you will last? Any ideas at all what I should expect? I still love you Sue, but I could not go on in our marriage if I thought that you would start to look for cock elsewhere. I need to know how you can possibly rebuild my trust in you."
Sue had tears welling up in her eyes. I felt like a heel for throwing out my mistrust in her since I knew that she was being sincere, but I had to know what she would think and how she would react. I had no guilt in this whole mess, only Sue did, and that wasn't actually her guilt. Unless the fact that she hadn't come to me in the very beginning and said something to me about the situation she was in.
"John, I don't know how you can sit there so calmly, talking about the things I have done to you, to our life together. I can't think of any way to prove to you that I won't stray or cheat on you. You have seen me doing things that most men would have shot or for sure, left their spouses over. Why do you still want to try to save our marriage? Why would you be able to still love me after all of the things I have done? I have been the biggest slut in the state for Greg, and I never really tried hard to refuse his requests or orders. I should have fought and resisted more than I did."
My heart was tearing. She was trying so hard to understand my thoughts. She had made up her mind that I would leave her. She was probably thinking that I was going to try to hurt her emotionally or worse, physically. I had to dispel her worries, but I also had to let her know about my anger towards this mess our lives had become.
"Sue, sometimes a rape victim assumes that they didn't try hard enough to resist their rapist. That is common, to my understanding. You have been victimized in a serious manner for over a year. You felt that you couldn't tell me, or anyone about your 'problem'. You will need to have counseling, as much as I will. I still love you Sue. That is why I am willing to try to save our marriage. Why I am willing to try and save you. I need you Sue. You have been the center of my universe for the whole time we have been married, and if I lost you now it wouldn't be a life I would be willing to live."
Sue jumped up and ran from the room. She went to the bathroom and locked herself in. I could hear her sobs. She stayed there for an hour before finally coming out. She looked composed, barely.
"Sorry John. I wasn't expecting you to say that you still loved me. It was what I longed to hear, but I couldn't handle the things that I have done to our marriage by my silence about the mess I was in. You are too good of a man. I don't deserve you. Does this mean that you forgive me for being such a whore? For being such a slut?"
"Sue, you have been forced to do the things you have done. Greg needs to go to jail at the very least, for his blackmailing of you. He drugged you and then used you in the most insidious way that one person can use another. I can't say that I won't have problems with the memories of your actions in front of my eyes, but I want to try to go on with you as my wife. Can you be happy with just me? No other men, just me, forever?"
