Hey everyone! It's Kathy again. Willing to share some stuff that happened to me from my past in hopes of clearing my mind and getting things off my chest. Like therapy! Though I could never tell a therapist about this experience. I couldn't tell anybody! Anyway, I was in my late teens(18 to be exact) when this took place.
Now, do you remember those days when you first started fooling around with the opposite sex...hormones were out of control almost all day... every day!! They say boys get it really bad but I must say, I know I had to be worse than any boy! I think it all started when I was snooping and I found all of my brother's stash of magazines and videos. Had no idea this single event would have such an impact on my life.
I would rush home every day after school just to lock myself in my room with a couple of mags or filthy video. I wasn't a virgin but I was quite inexperienced. These magazines and films began changing me. I was learning things all my girlfriends didn't have a clue about. For instance, I was the first girl (of all of my friends) to masturbate. And my brother's stash of stuff was the reason why.
There was one specific type of film and magazine that my brother had more than any other. I guess they were his favorite. Which I found kind of disgusting and very strange. They were Interracial! And all with black men and white women! What was wrong with him? I wanted to confront him but that would mean exposing myself in the process. So I only played with all the other "normal" magazines. Over and over and over...
I would masturbate to these every night and wake up in the morning thinking about the night before. My panties were wet all day long with my mind filled with sex! I look back at these days as some of the best and funnest of my life! Yeah, I know you now remember these days too.
I was walking back from the corner store when I saw this older black man standing by this van with the side door open. I got kind of scared and was about to cross the street and walk there instead-but then he saw me and I didn't want to look like a scared little racist white girl trying to avoid him, so I took a deep nervous breath and started walking faster so I could just get this pass-by over with.
He was smiling and licking his lips as I tried to walk by him but he quickly cut me off on the sidewalk by standing right in front of me. He was about, I don't know....50? More? Really black with a potbelly and his shirt riding up exposing that gut. He was missing teeth and his Afro was all wild and he was obviously drunk or something...
"Hey, little girl...look at you...Mmm-mmm. What's your name? Boy, you sure are sexy for such a young thing...Bet all those white boys are eating you up, aren't they? But that's nothing compared to what old Benny here can do to you...Hahaha...Don't be scared girl, Im only fooling. Let's get in my luxurious van here, girl. Lots of pretty young white girls have been inside Bennys van. And Bennys been inside of a lot of white girls in his van! Hahahaha.....don't be scared girl. Im only fooling!"
That was the last thing I heard as I moved around him and started walking real fast! Im sure you can call it a swift jog or downright run! He was so disgusting! He was rude! He smelled bad of stink and booze! He was old and fat! He was still making my skin crawl! Eww! And he was a liar, too! Expecting me to believe he's had girls just like me inside his van! Yeah right! If he kidnapped them maybe. I was so angry I could explode! If I ever see him again Im gonna tell him so. Or better yet, call the police so they could take him away and I'll never have to see that stupid face again!
That night, I couldn't sleep at all. Something was happening to me. I would like to say I couldn't sleep because I was still so pissed... but that wouldn't explain why my hands were down my panties the whole night and all I could think about was that disgusting black man. Or maybe he wasn't so disgusting? Could I have been wrong? He says he's had some white girls come to visit his van. Only a horny slut would go into his van. All I know is the next morning I quietly went to my brother's dirty stash again, but this time I only grabbed some of the interracial stuff he had!
The first thing I noticed was that all the white girls were really pretty and young, so maybe "Smelly Van-Man" was being honest? Maybe girls like this kind of thing. Ok, I have to admit. That's not the first thing I noticed. Im just embarrassed to admit it was those huge, monstrous black dicks that were making me insane. What the...They were so ugly and they didn't look real. Nothing could be that huge and ugly. And the pretty girls were licking it and putting them in their mouths! The few boy's dicks that I've seen couldn't be called the same thing that these men had! A different class of dick. And what are these pretty girls doing? It doesn't look like rape or being forced against their will. Actually, quite the opposite! They're all either smiling or in utter satisfying climax!
Then I found out that all those ugly monstrous dicks couldn't be that ugly and disgusting at all...because I'm ashamed to say, I just came harder than ever with my finger rubbing my teen clit and my face buried in a filthy BBC magazine. Right then at that moment, I knew what I wanted to do. I knew what I was going to do. I had to find out for myself. And all I have to do is see that van again.
I was playing with myself non-stop, day and night. Even my mom mentioned that I haven't left my room in days and asked where were all my friends? Friends? I can't tell my friends any of this! This has to be my big secret! No one can hear of this...Perhaps, only to be told many years later, at this very story site...that you're reading right now...on this internet thing of the future!
I very quickly became quite infatuated with big black cocks. I was really going crazy! At first, all my fantasies were about being taken or being made to do things with a BBC. Now, my thoughts are of me forcing myself on a BBC! It was so wrong and so dirty...and so unlike me, that it made it so hot. I knew what I wanted to experience and I knew if I waited too long, I would find a million reasons why I shouldn't. So that very next morning, I went for a walk to the corner store.
Chances are, the van won't be there anyway. And I've been working myself all up for nothing. That thought, all of a sudden, made me sad. What if he isn't there? Could I just wash this all from my mind and go back to being the boring Kathy I was before I found all my brother's magazines? That thought made me even sadder! God, I hope he's there.
As I was walking towards the area his van was parked that afternoon, I didn't see anything. So many raw emotions were running wild inside me. I felt like I lost a best friend! Tears were actually filling my eyes! What the heck is wrong with me? Those hormones!