About affairs - other than being fun, they tend to be messy, may lead to problems, and can really fuck up your life. So, because I hate fucked-up, messy problems, I avoid all extended affairs.
One-night stands, alternatively, are perfect! You rarely have to use your real name, can try on any personality you feel like wearing, and can lovingly ask for a number you'll never call. Combine that with a job that allows for some travel, and you have a wonderful recipe for fun.
So, why did I decide to fool around with my husband's friend and co-worker? The simple answer is that I'm a pushover for well-endowed black men. Shallow, I know, but very true. But if not for my husband's actions, I never would have known this about Carl in the first place. I guess we are equally to blame. [I described my husband's behavior, and my interaction with Carl, in a previous posting ('Making amends').]
Carl knew going in, and I left little doubt, that this would be a single event. So, why am I considering emailing Carl again, just a few hours after I left him? Well, there are a few answers to that question, but one rises to the top of the list. Carl is not 'just a guy'. He is a perfect man: well, perfect for me and my situation. The obvious qualities first - he's clean, fit, good-looking, black, and hung. And not hung a little, but 'knock your socks off, my God this is going to hurt' hung. The other qualities aren't as obvious. He is newly single, anti-relationship, absolutely discreet, and sexually insatiable.
Have I mentioned that he is horny, hot, and huge? So, I am certain you can see my dilemma. One the one hand, I do not want to ruin a very good marriage. (Yes, it is, even if you don't believe it.) And on the other hand, Carl is perfect. And to be honest, it is more than just the other hand. It's both hands, straining to reach all the way around, plus extra room for my fully stretched mouth. What can I do? Simple math gives me the answer; its one hand verses two overflowing hands.
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I sent him a simple email: "Carl, we need to talk."His response: "Not necessary. It's understood - it never happened."My response: "It has to be that way. It never happened. Ever. And I need for it to never happen again, and probably again, and then again. Which I know you can handle, if we agree that it never happened. ;-)"
Carl's very prompt reply: "We'll discuss it tomorrow, 9AM, be here."
9AM on a Sunday? Of course I was going to make it, but it would require an excuse. And I actually had an easy one; one that was sure to work.
"Honey," I called to my still slightly hung-over husband, "we have to talk.""Yea," he retorted from the other room, "I thought so." He continued speaking as he entered the room, "I'm sorry about last night. I never should have bet Carl in the first place, and I definitely shouldn't have wagered a peep show."
"Wow," I thought to my self, "this was going a lot better than I expected."
"Can we please pretend it didn't happen?" he asked.
I offered him kindness. "If you promise it won't happen again, I'll try and pretend it didn't happen."
"Deal." he smiled.
"But, it's still kind of freaking me out, so I think I'm going to church tomorrow to help get my mind around it."
"OK," he winced, "do you want me to come with you?"
"Thanks for the offer, hun, but its probably best that I just spend time by myself."