Good Grief

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When Suzy left the bridal boutique she was excited. There were a couple of choices she was leaning towards. She smiled to herself thinking she just had to close the deal with her man.

She was sure Sienna would have seen the video by now. And that stupid cow probably believed it was really Jason. She's so gullible, so easy to manipulate. It was actually one of Suzy's favorite past times.

Suzy sighed as she looked down at her hand and smiled at her beautiful ring. It glimmered perfectly in the light. She would never take it off her finger. I mean really, in this day and age women pick out their own engagement rings anyway. She would seal the deal with Jason and then he'd repay her mother for the ring. It really was harmless.

Suzy felt she was doing Sienna a favor. She knew Jason and Sienna would never work out anyway, men like Jason needed an experienced woman who could keep up with him sexually.

She was impressed with herself how well the whole plan worked out. She didn't have a lot of time to prepare but she really was a miracle worker.

When she found out from her mother that Jason and Sienna officially met in an art class in Soho, she went down there to find out any information she could from where Jason lived. She really did need to thank Ozzie for supplying her with his address from the art class registration forms. Stupid man, all he needed was a good blow job and he was talking like a canary.

From there everything was easy. She had met Peter aka "Jason" at a party one day. She practically mauled him when she saw him, thinking he was Jason. Peter was a model aspiring actor but had an uncanny resemblance to Jason. He might be an inch shorter but other than that he looked just like him.

Suzy told him she needed a male lead for a celebrity porn film she was doing and the idiot believed her. Suzy made sure he cut and styled his hair to look like Jason at Sienna's party. It was actually kind of fun. Peter really did have some good bedroom skills. Maybe Suzy would pay him a visit... you know to say thank you.

She got into Jason's apartment without a problem because apparently Jason told the doorman and building manager to give Sienna Johnson anything she needed. Lucky for Suzy, those two morons hadn't actually met Sienna yet.

And so Suzy said she was Sienna and that Peter was Jason's cousin visiting from out of town and Voilà!

Everything worked out perfectly.

Suzy decided to go to her mother's house to say hello. She honestly was very excited to share her news. When she arrived she was glad no one but her mom was home. People were always so nosy.

Sharon was at the kitchen table going over some bills she got in the mail. She had a distressed look on her face and was biting her nail. Her beautiful features were contorted in worry.

She had gotten off the phone with Gigi who talked to Nicole and told her all about some sex video Sienna received. Sienna wasn't returning Sharon's calls but Nicole just said it was someone from Jason's past who set him up.

The video showed Jason and some woman getting down and dirty. Sienna completely believed it and broke up with Jason but somehow Nicole was sure it wasn't him. Her poor daughter, she hoped they worked it out, she really liked Jason.

Sharon also hoped she got to the bottom of these reports she pulled.

"Mom, I'm here." Suzy called out from the entrance.

"Oh hello honey, it's nice to have you home." Sharon replied.

"Yea, I decided to make your day better by visiting you."

Sharon smiled and shook her head; Suzy was never one to shy away from complementing herself.

"Well it is always nice to see my girls. You want some coffee? I just made some for myself."

"Yea sure," Suzy said distractedly as she fixed her bangs in the hallway mirror.

When they sat down at the kitchen table and Suzy lifted her mug of hot coffee to her glossed lips. Sharon got a perfect view of the impressive ring on her left hand.

"Suzy, what is that?"

"Oh this?" Suzy sighed. "Well Jason and I are moving to the next level."

"Jason?"

Suzy nodded and her lips twitched a wicked smile.

"Sienna's Jason?"

Suzy shrugged and grinned. "He's mine now."

Sharon looked at her in confusion then narrowed her eyes.

"WHAT did YOU do?!"

"What? I didn't do anything that wasn't going to happen eventually. I'm just saving Sienna the heartache. Anyways I'll probably just dump him later." Suzy said nonchalantly.

Sharon looked at her eldest daughter with her mouth partly open. She glanced down to the investigation documents and everything suddenly made sense.

Sharon's eyes welled up as she shook her head in revulsion. Was this really her daughter? Suzy had always been tactless and a diva but this was beyond anything she thought Suzy was capable of... she had obviously gone off the deep end. Sharon felt angry and disappointed.

"WHY Suzy? Why would you do such a thing? You really think you are doing SIENNA a favor? Oh no. THIS is all your doing. Don't you want your sister to be happy? I can't BELIEVE you. I don't even want to know the details. But what I will tell you baby girl is if you don't change your ways you will end up alone and miserable-"

"What... like you?" Suzy cut her off.

Sharon's sad eyes looked at her and said, "When did you become so bitter?"

"When did you become such a slut?"

Unrepentantly, Suzy tensed her jaw and puckered her lips. She looked at her mother straight in the eyes in defiance.

Sharon chuckled and softly shook her head.

Suzy in her smugness did not expect Sharon's extremely accurate hand to land perfectly on Suzy's right cheek with a loud SMACK. And with lightning speed, she sharply backhanded her left cheek.

Suzy sat there stunned even as a little dribble from the coffee lingered on her chin.

Sharon grabbed Suzy roughly by her chin.

"Look at me. LOOK at ME! Don't you EVER disrespect me like that. You don't know what you're talking about. I don't know where or when you thought you received the right to talk and treat people the way you do but IT... ENDS... RIGHT... NOW!

I always thought you and Sienna were playing around when you'd make fun of her. You always seemed to have a special relationship. But I see now you were just a manipulative bully preying on her sweet nature. She worshipped you Suzy. You were everything to her; everything that was beautiful and smart was you. And you exploited that. I pray for forgiveness for not seeing it sooner... for not protecting her self-esteem. Oh, but you will learn baby girl, you will learn. Even if I have to put the very fear of God in you, you will learn. But until then... I don't want to see your face again."

Sharon roughly let her chin go. She narrowed her eyes daring Suzy to say something else.

A single solitary tear escaped Suzy's eyes. Even with all that was said, Suzy's features were hard... unbreakable. Sharon sighed and walked to the other room.

Suzy sat there stunned for the first time feeling her mother's wrath. It didn't matter anyway. All Suzy needed was Jason's wealth and power. Everything and everyone else was insignificant... Or at least that's what she kept telling herself.

Sharon made a call from her room to the detective helping her with her case.

After 10 minutes of Suzy awkwardly sitting at the kitchen table, she saw police lights in front of the house. That's strange; she wondered what was happening.

Sharon came out from the room with tissues in her hand and her eyes were puffy. She cleared her throat and opened the door. Two police officers came in and stalked towards the kitchen. A tall dark haired one took the lead and motioned for Suzy to stand up.

"Susan Johnson, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent-"

"Mom?" Suzy's eyes widened incredulously. The officer gently handcuffed her and continued the litany.

"Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney-"

Suzy's eyes bore into her mothers. "I can't believe you would do this to me, what kind of a mother are you!"

Sharon silently cried in the corner while the rest of her rights were recited.

"If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

If looks could kill, Sharon couldn't stand a chance. From the looks Suzy was giving her, she'd die on the spot. Sharon dabbed her wet eyes and cleared her dry throat.

Sharon stopped the officers as they walked by and looked at her first born daughter in the eyes. Sharon softly touched her still reddened cheeks from earlier even as Suzy roughly turned her face away from her mother.

Sharon inhaled and exhaled.

Suzy hissed, "I hate you."

"No you don't... But I'm going to do everything in my power to save you from forever hating yourself."

After the police car drove her away, Sharon broke down and cried. She hoped there was still hope for her wretched daughter.

When they reached the police station, Suzy would find out she was charged with identity theft coupled with breaking and entering and criminal harassment... courtesy of Jason.

__________________

The day after the fight, Jason was angry at Sienna for not believing him. She threw him away so quickly and didn't even question that stupid footage. Then Jason was completely enraged at Suzy. He briefly entertained the idea of some unsavory characters using their "skills" to bring Suzy maximum pain. But he knew he couldn't go through with hurting a woman... well part woman part succubus.

Jason called his buddy Nate from the 23rd Precinct and explained the situation.

"I want her arrested."

Nate assured him they would do everything in their power to issue an arrest and in the meantime to send him the footage. And somehow the universe helped out when they found out about Sharon's suspicious credit report. Nate got in touch with the detective helping Sharon on her case and cushioned Suzy's criminal charges.

It was little consolation to Jason because he still didn't have Sienna. He felt himself get angry all over again. Especially because he remembered how absolutely beautiful she looked in her rage. Her intense amber eyes burned into him and her wild black hair surrounded her head like a sinful halo. He didn't know his woman had such a fire within her. He'd be sure to tap into that rage later... later. Damn it!

In the end he realized he was angrier at himself more than anyone. He had the opportunity the chance at a perfect life with his beautiful woman. He couldn't help but feel guilty that his past bit him in the ass in the worst way.

Jason had no idea what to do when Sienna continually rejected him. He contemplated kidnapping her but that just wasn't his style.

A week after the fight, Jason was driving around trying to clear his head. He didn't know how but his car showed up at Sienna's mother's house in Hoboken. He wondered if Sienna was there. She wasn't. Actually no one was home.

As he was walking back to his car, Jose happened to be driving by. He motioned him over and asked him to get into his car. They drove to a Dominican restaurant.

"Eat." Jose said.

"I can't eat. My life is falling apart." Jason said.

"What good are you dead? Eat."

So after Jason forced down some rice, red beans, sautéed steak and fried plantains; he actually felt better. They drank Presidente beers in silence.

"Jose, I did not do this. I would have never hurt her this way."

"I know."

"You know? But how do you know... that video... that man looks exactly like me."

"I just know."

"How am I going to get her back? She won't even talk to me."

Jose sighed and said, "Stop thinking of fixing. Just plan for when it's fixed."

Jason looked at him confused but somehow felt better.

Since Sienna still wouldn't talk to him, Jason stopped calling her and gave her space.

He did however end up spending a lot of time with Sharon and Nicole's family. It was like he was close to Sienna through them. None of them believed Jason was the one in the footage. They just told him that soon enough Sienna would realize it as well.

Jason quickly was becoming a fixed part of the family, it just felt natural. To an onlooker it might have been odd that this man was visiting his girlfriend's family and the girlfriend was nowhere to be seen. But that's just how things are sometimes.

For Jason it became apparent that this thing between Suzy and Sienna stemmed from long ago. One day after dinner at Sharon's, Jason took his time looking at Sienna's childhood photos. Even with the pang in his heart, he smiled as he looked at his princess as a child.

He noticed most pictures with the three children had a common theme. Suzy was always posing like a couture model in front with her hands at her cinched waist dressed in trendy clothing. A comical smaller Sean was always to the side with his hands up in a karate stance, seemingly yelling in combat. And small chubby Sienna was always in the background with long shiny brown pigtails on her head. She was always shyly clasping her hands to the front... smiling but not showing any teeth.

Jason didn't know the specifics on why Suzy was the way she was but he knew Sienna had to work this out on her own. It didn't take away the fact that he missed her so much, too much.

Jason wasn't one to beg, he was just confident that this will be resolved. So he simply accepted the fact that he would have to endure this time and wait for Sienna to come back to him.

Being a man who was used to getting what he wanted when he wanted it, this was a challenge. Yea, it was fucked up but in his mind there was no other way this would end.

Sienna was his, plain and simple.

So he would plan for when that time came.

__________________

One month later...

Grief...

They say it occurs in five stages.

They say Denial is the first to set in. It's a defense mechanism, a refusal to accept the facts. After that Anger erupts. Anger is always easy to display. It's unleashed onto anyone or anything.

Then you find yourself Bargaining. It's a negotiation to avoid the inevitable, to not let go. It's like a terminally ill patient saying, "If I can only have a couple more years." Or in broken relationships, "Can we still be friends?" The first reaction is to bargain because you don't want to let go.

Depression is the fourth stage and probably the most painful and obvious to an onlooker. The person grieving usually does not want any contact with friends or family. They just want to disconnect from anything around them.

Finally... hopefully the last grief stage you embrace is Acceptance. You accept that sometimes things are the way they are. Coming to terms with reality is hard but vital.

Grief has its own timeline.

While grieving a dead loved one, we feel such a loss, such an inconsolable hole in our lives. It is hard to withstand. Those who grieve should be called survivors because it has the power to wipe you away.

Sienna Johnson had experienced grief three times in her short life.

The first time she grieved for her beloved brother whose death still puzzled her. There were too many unanswered questions in Sean's death. To this day there was a nagging feeling in her gut that something was just not right. But nonetheless, she grieved for his loss.

The second time she grieved for the only man she ever truly loved. She was still coping with that one. And the third she didn't know it yet but she would grieve the loss of her relationship with her sister.

After a month... life without Jason was no life at all. Sienna thought she would be over him by now; she should be over him by now.

She told herself she was just making their short relationship bigger than what it was. She was just caught up in the romance and the idea of being in love. But when she closed her eyes, she couldn't help but remember.

Those rough hands traveling over her soft back the moment she was about to fall asleep. She remembered the smell of him in the morning after they made love. His taste when she licked the fleshy part behind his ear... tasted like honeydew. The sound of his deep voice telling her she was a good girl after she'd cum for him.

Or the sight of his piercing eyes. She had never felt so naked... so utterly naked to a gaze while still clothed. His blue-gray eyes made her feel so vulnerable but oh so empowered.

It was hard for her to fathom the privilege to have experienced such things. But having lost it... was unbearable.

A complete tragedy.

It was like an Olympic gold medalist sprint runner at the peak of his career struck with a disease and having his leg amputated.

The most essential part of him gone... just like that.

Sure, after therapy and hard work the athlete could live a healthy life. He could continue and even one day qualify for the Olympics and be successful... I mean look at Oscar Pistorius.

But the runner would never be the same again. Every time he looked down at where his leg used to be, he'd remember.

Sienna knew the feeling. She grieved for Jason, for herself, for what they could have had. She couldn't pretend, she could only feel.

She was forever maimed without him.

In the beginning of her grief process, she was in denial. She denied the gut feeling that Jason would never do that to her. She was in denial that the sex tape looked a little suspicious.

She was in denial that she could ever fall in love with someone who completely loved her back.

After her denial, her glorious anger carried her through. Anger enabled her to block Jason's calls, dodge his visits... throw his flowers and gifts away. She hardened her heart and became numb to his advances.

And after a while, Jason just stopped. She thought her anger and pride would make her not care, but it didn't.

Sienna skipped the Bargaining and went straight into the Depression stage.

And depressed she was.

Life seemed even duller than before she ever met Jason. It's like having a state of the art HDTV and then downgrading to a vintage model. Everything just didn't look right and the grainy images were out of focus. Once you experienced those vibrant colors everything else just didn't compare.

Sienna no longer had that spark in her eye. She just managed to get by. She would wake up in the morning, she forced herself to take a shower, get dressed, and go to work, come back home, cry and go to sleep.

Well she tried to sleep. She couldn't help but slip Jason's old shirt on and try to smell any lingering traces of him. Pathetic, she knew but the truth nonetheless.

She knew she had to be severely malnourished because she didn't really eat. Well, when she did eat, it was either ice cream, chocolate or gummy bears; sometimes a combination of the three. She should probably take a vitamin or something, she had lost 10 pounds.

She didn't want to be around her family. She couldn't stand the looks of pity or little pep talks.

Of course, Sienna had no idea of what had transpired a month before. Whenever her family would try to talk about Suzy or Jason, she simply refused to listen. She was getting good at ignoring everyone. It was like she put up an invisible shield to everyone around her. She didn't even allow the thought of Suzy's actions to surface.

Sienna definitely was avoiding Nicole. At first, Nicole was supportive, listening to her vent about what a dog Jason was. Sienna would blast every male, saying they were all the same... cheaters.

Unfortunately for Sienna her best friend always spoke her mind and she kept insisting Jason hadn't cheated; he was set up by Suzy 'The Bitch'. Nicole said she just had a "gut feeling" about it.