This chapter connects in with a chapter of
Georgia
Plays The Game.
I know many readers have not read that earlier story - if you have then I hope it is long enough ago for this re-write to still be entertaining.
The next chapter will be submitted next week and will be all new material.
On The Drive North
Dee looked at her fingers as they rested on the steering wheel. On one hand were the rings put there by David - on the other was the eternity ring given to her by Shaka. They symbolised the two sides of her life - two very different sides that could never be allowed to come into contact. Even as she thought that she realised that it was a lie, that she was fooling herself.
This very vehicle, her white Honda Odyssey minivan, proved that. It had been the almost archetypal symbol of her status as a soccer mom, the respectable back-bone of suburban America. But it wasn't any more - at least for her. Even when the girls and Davey were in the back she still couldn't think of the Odyssey that way any more. It had been the place where her Black lover had first made love to her, had first fucked her. Where he had first proved all the old stories true - had proved his superiority in pleasing a woman. Every time she sat behind the wheel she could remember him on her and in her - could remember the look in his eyes when he had filled her with his potent African seed for the first time.
Sometimes she considered the significance of that. Shaka generally made the arrangements in their relationship. That just seemed natural. One thing that frustrated her about her husband was his failure to sometimes take charge when he needed to, in bed and outside of it. How he always stood back and left her to bear the weight of decision and responsibility. There was no question of that with Shaka. Shaka was in charge - but that didn't mean he was brutal or dictatorial. He just knew what was best for them. She wondered about his planning. How he had insisted she come in the Odyssey that first time, how he had given her the ring, how he had made that other vital decision. Those and a hundred smaller little things. All of which had taken her closer and closer to him - had made it inconceivable that she would ever give him up now. Was that just the way it was? Or was he ... manipulating her? She had wondered that before.
On this occasion, as on every previous one, she chose not to worry about the answer to that question too much. She very deliberately chose not to care. Shaka gave her what she needed and he had never promised to be her soul-mate. He had a wife who Dee had never met but who she had seen pictures of. Linda was beautiful - the face of one of those models that made millions strutting up and down the runway. Long blonde hair, high cheekbones, piercing blue eyes and an engagingly brilliant smile. In the same picture had been her children with Shaka - or she assumed with Shaka. Two boys and a little girl only a couple of years younger than her own. She'd seen Shaka look at that picture when he'd shown it to her. Seen the look in his eyes. He wouldn't be giving that family up any more than she was ready to give up hers.
Shaka's children were beautiful, one boy just a little darker in skin tone than the other. The little girl was coffee-skinned but still obviously her mom's little girl. It was indefinable but you'd never doubt the relationship there. Dee had thought about that picture a lot since. Once, and it had shamed her, she had thought about her own little Maddie. How in 12 years, when she was all grown up, she might perhaps meet Shaka's eldest, Jamal, and maybe who knew what might happen. She'd had to stifle that thought. Moms didn't think that way about their little girls. Then she'd realised she still had a long way to go yet. Moms and Grand-moms thought that way a lot - not meaning anything, not seriously, just pondering how nice it would be in the future if something were to work out. Why had she reacted so strongly? Was it the idea of one of her daughters in the future dating a Black man? Was it the idea of her grand-children looking like Shaka's children in the photograph? She wanted to deny it but she had been brought up in the United States, in one of the old Confederate States. The issue was always there - even if you tried not to be led by it.
Anyway, some things were for certain. Shaka wouldn't be abandoning that beautiful family and marrying her. If he'd been the sort of man to do that then Dee still thought she was strong enough to have denied him. Instead, just as Shaka had always made plain, she had become one of his women, one of his stable. Once certain arrangements were in place he didn't expect her to be faithful to him and he sure as shit wouldn't be exclusive to her. His mark, the gaudy hoops already hanging from her ears, would be her protection in the jungle of the Capital. Shaka had almost presented it as a trade-off. If she was going on the pill then she'd become available for some, perhaps all, of the many Black men who had shown real interest in her over the last few weeks. The unspoken comment still sounded loud in her ears. Up to now he'd kept her exclusive because up to now she'd been fertile - he hadn't wanted to risk another man getting her pregnant. She sensed he had been making something else clear too. If, or when, she got pregnant with a Black man's baby then he was going to make sure that baby was his.
That was the thing about a man like Shaka. Sometimes he didn't need to say it. He seemed to know what she was thinking - he seemed happy that she was clever enough to understand where he was coming from. She understood that way she could never be 100% sure that he really was leading her. It could still just be her own desires, her own needs, expressing themselves via him. Either way she and Shaka would find themselves where they wanted and needed to be. Shaka might not have too many degrees and doctorates but he was a seriously smart man.
On The Job Training
The first problem, almost inevitably, had been David. Going to the Capital to spend Saturday with Shaka had been one thing. From now on she was going to need more time. Most importantly she was going to need Saturday nights. To get herself prepared, to go out to the clubs, to meet new Black men and... Well, anyway, there was no way she could be home before Sunday Morning. David was not going to like that - not that it would really make much difference for him. The children would be asleep when she was... She felt guilt at the thought - was suddenly pleased that Shaka was there to take charge as usual.
He had just reached for her bag and produced her phone. "Ring the fool and tell him now. Say this is a different school administration up here - say you got to do one day a week of on-the-job training. What's it they call it - professional development."
'The fool' was Shaka's little pet name for her husband. She'd felt guilty about that too - at first. After a while guilt seemed to sort of wear off about that and a lot of other things. What had seemed outrageous became the new normal. Pretty soon it seemed to be just the natural way of things. Like the fact that she would lie to her husband, like the fact she hadn't told him about the other very important decision she had made.
***
It had been earlier that week. As a fully qualified and experienced teacher with excellent references she hadn't had trouble finding work back here. The short notice of her move meant she'd been working cover for the time being - at two very nice suburban schools.
The need for a more permanent position wasn't urgent and in fact one of the schools where she was working had suggested that one would arise there soon. So there was no need for hurry or panic but...
She had received three more letters of invitation from that organisation running schools in the Capital. What was it called again? That's right - the Taylor Foundation. She had been specifically approached regarding Tubman High, one of the three new schools recently opened by the Foundation. The post offered would pretty much suit her to a tee and the money was pretty good. She just wished she knew more about the situation there.
She remembered that google hadn't helped much regarding the Foundation but she also knew that she now had some much better sources of information, Sources closer to the ground so to speak.
It turned out Georgia was School Administrator at DuBois High, one of the other new schools. However, Dee gave most weight in her decision to Shaka - as almost seemed natural now.
"Mr Taylor is good people. Using your skills to help the children down there, children that need really good teachers, I'd approve of that."
Had that made up Dee's mind for her? Or was it the other thing Georgia had said? The Foundation was firm in requiring the highest standards of work from its staff. However, when off duty and off premises, it had a policy of allowing its staff to live their own lives.
That fact might come in very handy. You never knew what the future might bring.
