I have been a nervous and anxious person throughout my life and have developed various strategies to deal with my anxieties, including doing exercise or taking medication at times. But a few months ago, I got a new boss at work and my stress level increased substantially, as he was the kind of boss who likes to micromanage his reports. Even with taking my typical medication and other strategies for anxiety mitigation, I was not doing well in these days, and when talking to a dear friend of mine, she suggested joining her yoga class she had been taking for quite some time.
"You will see, Mark," Danielle said, "practicing yoga will allow you to find better inner balance, it is both good for your body and for your soul... Our teacher is a young woman from India called Medha, and she is an excellent instructor, with lots of compassion and also humor, why don't you try it out...?"
I agreed, it wouldn't hurt to take a class once, just to see how it all goes and if this might be something for me, in particular, if it might help me relieve my anxiety.
So on the next Wednesday evening, I showed up at Medha's class, wearing loosely fitting clothes, as recommended, and bringing a mat which I just had bought online. I sat down on my mat, facing the teacher, and observed that I was actually the only guy in the class -- women of all ages were there, some wearing tighter and other more looser fitting clothes, most of them staring at me as I entered the room, as if I was some kind of intruder...
Medha was indeed from India, judging from her accent, I estimated her to be in her mid twenties, she was of rather short stature, wore teal leggings and a black T-shirt; she had her black hair cut very short. She sat on her mat in perfect lotus position with the soles of her feet facing upwards to the ceiling.
Medha welcomed us all to the class, and briefly also said a few special words of welcome to me, the only new kid on the block... She explained that the purpose of yoga is to find inner and outer balance, to move with one's own breath always, and not to try to achieve something like 'perfection' in the poses...
"Just go as far as your breath leads you, don't mind what your neighbor or I am doing... If something is too hard or too difficult you can always simplify a pose, and I will let you know some of the options when it comes to it..."
We started sitting cross-legged on our mats and slowly breathing in and out, focusing on the breath, not hanging out with any random thoughts that might appear in our minds... After the initial breathing, we did some slow warm-ups, like rolling our heads, bending sideways left and right, or rolling over our sitting bones... All of that was not too difficult and I had no trouble following Medha's calm and soothing words of instruction...
But then we stood up and went into a series of sun salutations. The first two or three were done in fairly slow motion, but for me, the yoga Newby, it was still quite challenging to follow along, as I had never done these movements before, and I had to carefully look at Medha's moves or those of my classmates to avoid getting lost ...
But then the speed of the sun salutations increased, and with every breath, we were supposed to move into the next pose... I got completely lost and at some point just rested on my belly, waiting for the end of this sequence... I felt that not only Medha but also all the other women in the class watched my defeat and maybe wondered why I had joined in the first place... Danielle should have mentioned that this class was not one for beginners...
Eventually, the series of twelve sun salutations had been completed, and in the following, a number of different poses, many named after various animals, such as 'camel', 'pigeon' or 'locust' were performed, always to the rhythm of our breath... Some of these poses were quite challenging for me and I was not able to do them all in the way they were supposed to be done (from what I gleaned from Medha), but at least I was able to follow along somewhat better than earlier...
After about thirty minutes I was so tired and exhausted, and also had some pain in various parts of my body, that I decided to just sit on my mat and watch the class going on, now without me...
Medha did not say anything, neither criticism nor words of encouragement, even though she clearly knew what was going on...
I used the opportunity to watch Medha as she moved her beautiful body around in the various poses, seemingly without any effort, and also as the other women in the class did the same, of course not at the level shown by Medha, but to a different degree of approximation... Somehow, having all these women around me, focusing on their breaths and poses, provided me with some calm but at the same time also arousing feelings...
After the final shavasana, when everyone lay on their mat face up, legs and arms stretched out, the whole class arrived in the basic sitting position again and folded their hands to the 'namaste' good-bye...
After most women had left, Medha approached me and said officially 'hi', then asked me about my experience... I shared my struggles during class with her and she was very understanding...
"For a beginner, you did actually extremely well in the class, and should be proud of it..."
"I'm not sure, though, if this is the right class for me..." I said slightly discouraged.
"I don't teach a beginner's class right now but I do give private lessons... let me know if you'd be interested..." She put on a sweet smile as she said this, very warm and inviting...
"I might consider it, will give you a call in the next few days..." I ended the conversation.
"Great. So nice to meet you!" Again her sweet warm smile, as she turned around, grabbed her yoga mat and left the room.
***---***
I did not have to deliberate long about this, so I called Medha two days later and asked her about her availability for private lessons. She worked weekends and could visit me the following Sunday evening at 5 p.n.
"How about your fee?" I inquired.
"$80 for a 60 minutes class."
"Okay, sounds good, until Sunday then."
"Yes, I'll see you soon!" I could tell over the phone that Medha smiled as she said this...
The doorbell rang on Sunday afternoon around the agreed time, and I welcomed Medha into my house. She was dressed a bit hotter than during her class, wearing a tight black top that showed the contours of her bra, purple lycra stretch leggings, white socks and white sneakers. She carried a bag containing her yoga mat and a water bottle. I had chosen a very simple and basic outfit for the class: a soft white T-shirt, and black sports shorts.
"Please follow me down to the basement," I invited Medha along, as we stepped down the staircase to my large finished basement area. It had several functions -- I used it for playing my online computer games, to watch streaming shows or movies, and also to do workout. The floor was covered in comfortable wall-to-wall carpeting, so it would feel comfortable on our yoga mats.
Medha took her sneakers and socks off, then we placed our mats next to each other, and Medha asked me to sit down, in the basic sitting pose, Sukhasana.
"This pose is great and you can always go back to it during the yoga routines, it is very centering and calming." She featured a big smile, as she was sitting in her perfect lotus, with her small feet resting on her thighs and her soles facing straight up.
