"Sienna?" she heard Darren say behind her. She wiped her mouth and stood up.
"Yes, oh, I'm okay. Funny, they call it morning sickness, even though it lasts all day sometimes," she said, with a weak laugh, which then faded into more tears.
"Come on, I'll take you to your dad's," Darren replied, as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her to his car.
"No, I need to speak with Brandon," she whispered while buckling herself in.
"Sienna, I don't think that's a good idea tonight. He's really fucked up. I mean, I know he won't do anything, but he might start saying some more shit that his ass is going to regret."
"I can handle myself," she declared with shaky confidence, as she stared out of the window.
Darren figured that was the end of the conversation. He exhaled as he pulled out and headed to Brandon's house against his better judgment.
When they arrived at the house, Brandon's Jeep wasn't parked in the driveway. Sienna felt her heart deflate. She had been hoping he would have come back by now. She slowly exited the vehicle and turned to look at Darren.
"Do you want me to wait with you until he comes?" Darren asked.
She looked down the street and then back inside Darren's car. "No, I think that would just make everything worse."
"Yeah, you're right. Well, call Lori or me if you need to leave, okay? I'll be here in a heartbeat."
"Thank you, Darren," Sienna said and then turned to walk up the steps and sit down.
Darren stared at her for a few moments, then shook his head and reluctantly drove off. He really didn't want to leave her there by herself, but figured his being there with her when Brandon returned, wouldn't be the best thing. Brandon knew Darren would never ever touch Sienna outside of a brotherly way, but when someone's been knee-walking drunk like Brandon, logic and reasoning sometimes fades away.
Sienna felt her stomach growl, but she really didn't feel like eating. She was miserable, and the thought that she had wounded Brandon the way she had made both her head and her heart ache. She just wanted things to go back to the way they were last week, before her lie surfaced. She sat there gazing out into the front yard, growing more wary by the minute.
**********************
Brandon didn't know where the fuck he was going. His mind wouldn't let him focus. His heart hurt and every muscle in his body seemed tense. Had she really planned on not telling him if she was going to get an abortion? He still thought it was some sick joke. He couldn't fathom that she would do that to him.
It was now 3:45 in the morning, and his body was rapidly starting to give out. He was beyond frazzled. He couldn't believe this day. And most of all he wanted to kick Chris's sorry ass. In his opinion, that fucker caused all of this!
When his brain could no longer function with simple tasks like accelerate and brake, he knew it was time to go home and hit the sack. He finally turned his Jeep around. He was praying that Sienna had gone to Lori's or her dad's house, because he couldn't deal with her right now. He knew he'd never physically attack her, but he was afraid of what he would say to her. He seemed to always say too much, and Sienna didn't say enough.
Brandon knew he was fucking ripped out of his mind. Why did she always cause him to try to drown his sorrows? He had not done that since he lived in Boston and hated his very existence, and even then, he had been a teenager. But now he'd gotten shit-faced two times in the past two months over her!
When he pulled up to his house he saw her sitting on the steps. Shit. He wasn't prepared for round two just yet.
Sienna's heart leapt when she saw him drive up. When he parked, she could see him through the windshield. She noticed him lean his head back on the headrest and wipe his hand down his face. She then saw him pull out his pack of cigarettes, the one he kept under the sun visor. She saw him open it and tap one cigarette out, then put it between his lips. He didn't light it, but instead just stared back at her. Then he jerked the cigarette out of his mouth and placed it back in the package.
'Might as well get it over with,' Brandon thought to himself. He finally got out and walked up the steps past her without saying a word. He turned on the lights and placed his keys on top of the TV. Sienna followed him in and stood by the door. If he could just make it to the bed now, and pass out, he'd be fine. But then she began talking. Fuck.
"Brandon...I know you don't want to talk to me right now, and I understand that, but I just want you to know I never said I was actually getting an abortion. I just said if I did I—I um, I hadn't planned on telling you."
Brandon continued to ignore her presence. He needed some fucking Tylenol and a good night's sleep. He just didn't want to deal with this shit right now.
"I'm so sorry, if--"
Brandon cut her off. "I don't want your fucking apology right now, okay?" he said, as he made his way to the bedroom. God, she was making his head swim.
Sienna needed him to see her point of view. She needed him to understand her reasoning. She didn't want him to think she was a cold-hearted monster. She knew she shouldn't have pushed him, but she couldn't help herself. She followed him to the back and cornered him in the bedroom.
Brandon had removed his shirt and was in the process of turning the sheets down when she entered. He felt her eyes on him and finally decided to look up. She stood there with her bottom lip tucked gently between her teeth. Her eyes were wide and unsure, but also seemed very weak looking. He hated this. He hated this feeling in the pit of his stomach. He just wanted to forget that yesterday—today---fuck, he couldn't even keep up with the days. But regardless, he just wanted this to be over.
"Do you want me to leave?" she asked.
No. Of course he didn't. But he couldn't verbalize that to her. A part of him still wanted her to hurt for hurting him. "Do whatever the fuck you want," he quickly replied as he sat on the edge of the bed about to remove his shoes. Brandon was quickly unraveling. He didn't feel well, and just being around her was making it worse. Why couldn't she just leave him the fuck alone for a few hours? Let him chill out and then they could have a normal conversation when he wasn't so fucked up.
"Brandon, talk to me!" she cried to him.
Without another word, he stood up from the bed and searched for his shirt. He had to get the fuck out of here. He couldn't stand to see her hurting, but fuck if he could offer her any relief feeling the way he did.
Sienna started to panic when she saw him getting dressed again. As he made his way over to her to leave the bedroom, she blocked him. She put her hands on his chest and looked up at him. "No, don't leave. I need to talk to you about this!" she yelled, as the tears began to brim over the edge of her eyelids.
Brandon could barely stand to see her like that, but he was losing it fast. "Fuck, you want to do this now, huh? Right fucking now? Fine, let's talk about it. It's not the fact that you were thinking about abortion that hurts me, although trust me, that does. It's the fact that you were never going to fucking tell me I had a kid. That's it! I can't believe you would do that to me!" he hollered out of frustration due to hurt, alcohol and lack of sleep.
She stood there crying and blocking the door. She wouldn't budge.
"Sienna, move," was all he said to her while looking over her head. He was barely holding on. He was so close to giving into his feelings and just accepting her apology, but that would be too easy. To make up and forget that any of this had happened seemed so tempting, but pride was a bitch sometimes.
"No!"
That was it. The last thin strand of his sanity broke.
"Do you understand that I don't have anything to say to your right now? Do you fucking get that?! You broke my fucking heart, can you not understand that?! And I can't deal with this bullshit right now so PLEASE...just leave me the hell alone for a few minutes!!" he screamed, as he picked her up and removed her from the door frame.
Sienna grabbed a hold of his shirt to keep him from leaving but he pried her hands from it and pulled away. By this point, Sienna was crying so hard, she could barely catch her breath and yell his name. God, she felt so weak. So pathetic. But she would gladly sacrifice any pride she had if it meant he would stay.
Brandon quickly made his way down the hall and grabbed his keys. He heard her yelling his name, begging him to stay, but he didn't turn around. He wanted to so badly. To just turn around, pick her up and carry her into the bedroom and forget their problems. But too much had happened. Too much had been said. He had to get out of there. Now. He couldn't stand to watch her cry. To know that he was hurting her. He felt like an ass, but he knew if he stayed, it might escalate and become worse. She may not have felt it, but he was doing them both a favor.
Sienna wilted in the hallway, tears streaming down her face as she heard his Jeep roar out of the driveway. Again. She felt like her heart was breaking into a million little pieces. Her head was pounding and her stomach was cramping. She slowly walked to the bed and fell down face first. She felt like she couldn't breathe. God, why hadn't she just told him? She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. She laid there praying she could go to sleep and forget this day ever happened. But the sickening feeling in her stomach would not give her any peace.
When sleep had failed her and she felt her body had no more tears to produce, she decided to get up and shower. Perhaps that would make her feel better. At first the hot stream of water felt good against her skin, but a few minutes later, she felt like her insides were tying into knots. Soon she was bending over and vomiting in the shower. She leaned against the shower door, and her stomach heaved again. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten, so she wasn't even sure how her body was able to generate anything for her to throw up.
She finally gained enough energy to remove herself from the shower door and step out. She quickly changed into her nightgown and sat on the couch. She felt so horrible. She couldn't even think straight. Suddenly her stomach convulsed again and she made it to the sink just in time.
Something wasn't right. She had felt bad before, but this was much different. It started scaring her. She knew he didn't want to talk to her, but she decided to call him anyway.
"Brandon," she said weakly, leaving him a voice message, "I don't feel well, I think I need to go to the hospital because..." she dropped the cell phone.
Everything on her body was weak and her stomach was killing her. She slowly reached down to pick up the phone when she heard his voicemail cut off. She felt wetness seeping between her legs, and she reached down to touch it. Blood. She immediately became frantic. She needed air. She needed to call 911. She slowly made it outdoors with her cell phone and began descending the steps when she noticed the driveway moving back and forth. She also noticed the trees swaying from side to side. She then felt her body shifting and then darkness.
