The week before our wedding my wife told me we had to talk. I knew what was coming was not going to be easy, but I sat and listened intently, determined to handle whatever the problem was. "Before we go through with the wedding, there is something you have to know," she said with a serious expression that made it clear it was going to be even harder than I expected. She took my hand in hers and looked deeply in my eyes. "I love you dearly, but I also love black cock," she said candidly. "Have since the first one I had in college."
She was quiet for a moment, letting me process what she had said. "The bigger the better," she said with a grin. "I have told them they can't fuck me. I don't want a black baby, but I will suck them to a wet and juicy orgasm and I'll swallow all they will give me. I will marry you if you can accept that, but if you can't then it is off," she said assertively. "I can't be dishonest with you any more. I could not sneak around any longer without you knowing.
"You know Anthony, he was my first. I still do him once a week. Every Wednesday I suck him and drink his come like I have now for a year. Then I lick him clean." She waited for me to react, but I sat silently, hardly believing what I was hearing. Stunned, frankly, at what I was being told by the woman I planned to marry and had assumed was a faithful bride to be.
I could not deal with it by myself. I had always told my brother everything and I needed to talk to him, tell him what she had told me and get his reaction. Probably he would say, "Get the hell out of this."
"So, do you love her?" he asked after I told him the whole story. I said I really did, and he said then it was up to me if I loved her unconditionally enough to allow her the freedom to be herself. "You don't own her," he said. "So, if you love her you will not hold her so tight you will keep her from being who she is."
"Could you?" I asked. "What would you do?"
"If I was marrying Claire, I would suck it up and learn to like hearing her tell me about blowing her black friends," he said. "Many men share their wives with other men. Lots of guys get sexual pleasure from seeing their wives with other men. I would count my blessings if Claire was my wife and I would listen to her tell me about what it was like to suck a big black cock," he said. "Especially if she was fucking me while she told me. She is one hot little woman and I never thought you would be enough for her."
He smiled, then chuckled. "I think I would stand in line just for the chance to have some bed time with your wife, with you or without you," he said. We exchanged head shakes and he reminded me I had asked him what he would do. He gave me a 'you want the truth' smile and shrugged. "I would let her have her friends and I would thank my lucky stars," he said. "She can't get pregnant, so what's to decide? It maybe fun, who knows," he said.
I hadn't expected my brother to advise me to let her suck them, but I really never know what to expect from him.
"I was the equipment manager for the basketball team and Anthony asked me if I had ever had black," she told me the night she disclosed her secret. "He said I should, that I owed it to myself. Then he offered to 'let' me suck his cock if I wanted. I told him no, but then I couldn't forget about it and finally said I would. That was all it took. Once I had that big piece of black meat in my mouth I couldn't stop. Then he brought Ruben over and told me to do him. I did and wanted more. Then I did Clarence, Martin, and Julian. By then I did the whole team. They lined up at my door and I did each one, one after another.
"How many have you done?" I asked, knowing I wasn't going to like the answer before she spoke. She grinned.
"About ten," she said. "I usually do one a day now. Usually in the morning after you leave for work. They come over each morning. Can you handle that?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said honestly. We sat looking at one another without speaking. Her hoping I would be able to allow her to continue after we were married and me wondering if I ever could.
"I do love you," she said, "but I can't give them up. I don't want to. I hope it is not a deal breaker," she said. "I will be a good wife, I promise, but I won't give up my doing them. I will give you good sex. I will raise your children, and I will be a good wife, but I need to continue my hobby. You understand?" Without really understanding I nodded.
"Some husbands like to watch their wives do other men. Do you think you could do that?" I shook my head.
"I don't think so," I said, pretty sure I never could. Feelings of jealousy ran through my head. "You suck a different man everyday?" I asked. She simply nodded.
"Only black men," she said, as if that made it better. "I don't know why, but I love black cock. I will suck you everyday, give you the best sex I can, as often as you want, but please don't ask me to give up giving blow jobs to my black lovers."
For the next week, as you can imagine, I thought of nothing else. I constantly pictured Claire with a black man's penis between her lips, smiling and sucking gleefully, envisioning the sight of her swallowing the semen of each of them and seeing her beam as she savored the taste of each one, licking her lips like she had just finished a tasty drink.
I could not stop thinking about her request, that I marry her but allow her continue to give oral pleasure to black men. I had never heard her even say the word cock and I had never thought of watching as my wife did anything sexual with other men. She said some men enjoy watching their wives, but I couldn't imagine that. I could not imagine getting pleasure from seeing her with someone else. Them being black did not make it worse, but the racial element confused me. If she liked having sex with other men, I guess I could understand that, but that they had to be black was beyond my comprehension.
I had not thought of black men as being superior, sexually, but then maybe that was naive on my part. I had heard they were larger, on average, than white men, but I really hadn't thought about it much and didn't know if it was true. Strangely, I did want to know about just how she got started, other than what she had told me. I even imagined the first time she gave oral to Anthony and thought about what had actually happened, what they did and what the particulars were.
Anthony is well over six feet, probably close to six seven or eight, and I was sure he most likely was very large, maybe seven or eight inches in the male organ department. I had seen him a number of times and never realized he had a history with my bride to be. I loved her, but was not sure I could accept the conditions I was faced with. Could I accept my wife sucking the cocks of other men while I was at work during the day?
I did not want it to be the end of our relationship, but I was not convinced I could live with that reality. As I was driving home from my brother's, I thought about what he had said. Could I love her unconditionally? If everything she swore to that she had done, could I manage it? I did love her, truly. And I did know she was a prize, no matter what. I thought about men who watched their wife have sex with other men. I thought about men who share their wife with others. It was true that many societies allowed a sexual freedom that others did not.
Before she told me what she did I had no complaints, so was this an actual deal breaker? The question of whether I could handle it was an important one of course, but could I handle losing her as well? When I got home she was the height of sweetness and I was reminded again of how much I cared for her, how good we were together and how much fun I had with her.
If she liked other things I didn't like or participate in, would I have trouble accepting that? Sex was different, of course, than racketball, but was it the most important thing in a marriage? Of course not. But if if wasn't, why would that alone be a deal breaker? There were so many things to think about, and marriage was so much more than simply sex.
When I got home she was the epitome of sweetness, and I kissed her and asked about her day, wondering if she had been with one of them. There was a liberating feeling about knowing that she might have been, but it was countered by a deep dread I felt in my stomach. So there it was, the ache of wondering and the charge I got from knowing she may have been. It confused me tremendously. The thought that she might have been actually excited me, but the thought of it also made me feel sick. What a conundrum. What a conflict of emotions. I could not believe how much the issue confused me.
Before she made her announcement I would have said, "Hell, no. Not in a million years. Never!" But now I didn't know what I was going to do. It did not seem like I could ever handle it. That night she asked me if I had thought about it. I had not thought about anything else. The wedding was in a week, and I needed to give her an answer and soon, although I did not know the answer. I was not sure about how I felt.