I must have stayed kneeling by the pool for another 5 minutes after they left. I knelt there in the most complete shame I had ever felt in my life up to this point.
Confused and unclear why this was all happening in such a degrading manner, my mind wandered. I was so demoralized that my stomach was twisted into large knots as I struggled desperately to find the strength to stand. Finally, I managed to bring my tall and weakened body to my feet.
I stood there for a moment in shock before I began timidly walking towards my condo apartment in the most defeated posture. My head hung low as I embarrassingly carried the younger black stud's yellow bikinis, which were stained with my wife's lipstick prints. I held them loosley and with disgust in my right hand. To me, this was a slow walk of shame. It felt like it was taking forever as I retreated to the doors of our condo building. My mind continued to wander in a confused fear that I had never felt before.
"Why was this young black stud being so mean to me?" I cried, in silence.
"Why was he being such a bully?" I asked myself.
"How could he do this?" I quivered.
"How could he be so cruel and hold my face to his butt in that bikini like that, and do that for so long too?" I sobbed.
"That was so mean of him." I thought.
"Why did he do this to me right in the presence of Julie?" I questioned in a subdued humilation.
"Will my wife ever see me as a man ever again?" I asked myself.
"Maybe Julie really didn't seee everythiing that he did to me?" I pleaded in my praying mind.
When I made it to my apartment I literally collapsed face down on my bed and cried myself to sleep. I had heard my cell phone "chirp" with a text message just moments before I passed out, but I ignored it. I just couldn't find the strength to answer, nor did I even care to speak to anyone at this particular time.
It was past noon when my red and teary eyes closed, uncontrollably. I fell asleep in complete and utter shame.
It was 4:10 p.m. when I was woke up in my own bed feeling startled. My face was drenched in sweat from what had to be a terrible nightmare. I had been passed out cold for almost 4 hours, and I was in such a "daze" that it took me a minute or two before I knew where I was.
Fatigued, I sat on the edge of the bed holding my head down staring at the floor. I noticed my cell phone laying next to the black stud's neon-yellow bikini, which was still stained with red lipstick. That is when I began to remember the total degradation that he had subjected me to just hours before.
I looked back at the clock on the nightstand. It was now 4:13 p.m., and I suddenly recalled some of the words Tra'mon had said to me by the pool when he was "bullying" me around.
"Wait a second. Did he tell me I could see Julie and talk to her at 6 o'clock?" I pondered to myself.
"Gosh, I think he did say that." I recalled.
"Why would he say that I could? That sounds odd." I began to think.
"Why would he let me?" I wondered.
"But, yes. He did say something like that." I continued thinking.
"Where did he say I could meet my wife to talk to her again?" I questioned, in my mind.
"Oh, my gosh. He really did say I could talk to Julie!" I remembered, jumping up to my feet.
I reached down to pick up the black man's bikini and my cell phone from the floor. Without thinking, I headed to the bathroom to shower and get ready. I knew that 6 o'clock was fast approaching. With disgust and the minute shred of masculinity I now feigned, I tossed Tra'mon's used bikini swimsuit into the small trash can next to the toilet.
Still, I had not remembered all of what he had said to me by the pool. My mind was racing as I removed my "peed" up pants and underwear from the night before. Then, I jumped into the shower. I wanted to look clean and presentable when I finally had the chance to speak to my blonde wife.
As I showered, I kept holding onto this "pipe dream" of getting my wife back. In my mind, I went through a myriad of things that I would like to say to her. Things that I could say to her. Things that I so desperately wanted to say to her to let her know that I was still the same man she married years before.
Despite all that I had witnessed and now knew, and the degradation that this young black stud had put me through, I wanted to speak to Julie in the worst way. The initial thought of being able to meet her alone excited me.
But, that is when reality began to set in. As I showered and began to grow more alert in my mind things suddenly changed. My thoughts did a complete one-eighty.
"Wait a minute. Is he going to be there when I meet Julie?" I asked myself.
"Oh my Gosh, I hope not." I prayed, silently.
"He's being such a bully to me. Why does Julie like someone like that?" I bawled in silence as I looked down at the soap in my hands.
I just stood there in the shower looking down feeling nervous. Unconsciously, several minutes passed by and the warm water began to run cold.
As I emerged from my shower and towel dried my tall, wimpish body I looked over to my cell phone in the bathroom counter. The little red light indicating that I had text messages was "blinking" rapidly.
"Oh my gawd. Did I miss Julie's call?" I asked myself.
Knowing that my beautiful blonde wife was really the only one that actually "texted" me on a regular basis for many years, I rushed to grab it and hoped for the best.
I was disappointed when I looked down to see that I had several messages from an "unknown caller."
"Who could this possibly be?" I asked myself, curiously.
When I accessed the first of these messages I nearly fainted. It was from the young black stud, Tra'mon. My heart neraly stopped. At the time I could not imagine how in the world he even got my number.
"This is Trey. Don't forget. 6 sharp!" his first message read.
My excitement of seeing Julie diminished. My body felt completely deflated and my hands literally trembled as I stared at the little screen on my cell phone. The intense intimidation I always felt being around this black man abruptly resurfaced as I clicked on the next text message in fear.
"Don't forget to have my shit cleaned neither!" the next text read.
My eyes widened in confusion as I read the next text messages, one after the other. I couldn't remember what the young black man was referring to at that moment.
"No answer, boy?" the third message read.
"We gonna have another problem, boy?" the fourth message read.
"Answer!" the next message read.
"Pussy!" the next message said.
"Make that 6:15 sharp, boy!" the seventh text message read.
"Pussy!" the last text message read, seemingly with even greater authority.
The remaining air in my already deflated body was gone as I stared at his crude messages. Desperately, I tried to recall his words by the pool and tried to remember what he meant by "having his shit cleaned" as I looked down to the floor in my bathroom.
That is when I noticed the young black man's yellow bikinis in the trash can. Suddenly, I remembered the brazen manner in which he threw them into my face. I now recalled the words he used hours earlier when he told me to have them cleaned. The demoralizing reality hit me like a freight train when I finally put it all together and remembered his cruel "order" to clean the lipstick prints of my blonde wife from his flimsy little yellow bikini speedoes suit.
"Oh, gawd. How in the world could he make me do something so crazy like this?" I whispered out loud as my face beamed a bright red.
"He wasn't serious, was he?" I pondered.
"How could he be?" I asked, over and over again.
"Does he really expect me to do this?" I asked.
I truly could not imagine how he could expect me to do something so ridiculously degrading and embarrassing. My fear of this black stud had grown to such an unbelievable level that I felt terrified by the thought of angering him. I stood by the sink shaking like a big pansy.
I was so terrified and intimidated by Tra'mon that I knew, deep down, it would be a disaster if I were to show up without them. Humiliated, I stood there before the sink looking down in shame for several minutes as I continued to contemplate my options. All my options were thoughts of fear, humiliation and getting beaten up by him again.
I felt like a complete and total coward.
Defeatedly, I just bent down and pulled the black man's lipstick-smeared bikinis from the trash can and placed them into the sink. My timid eyes gazed upon them in humiliation, then I began "tearing" asa I turned on the hot water. My eyes were tearing like a sissy's eyes would as I watched the hot water begin to steam.
"What am I doing?" I thought.
I really didn't know how what I was doing, but I was so intimidated by him that I began to look around under the sink for some type of laundry soap or cleaner.
I found a small bottle of "Woolite" that I had seen Julie using once before. She had used this product of delicate wash soap for her leotards and stockings in the past. Now, I found myself reading the directions on the back of the bottle wondering how I needed to use it. Degraded, I began pouring the laundry soap into the sink. The large basin sink now filled with hot water, suds and the black stud's bikini swimsuit.
I couldn't believe that I was actually doing this.