Chapter One:
January 18th, 1964
The sky over the hills held the color of amber rose as Vixen looked out the front window of her apartment. She placed a hand on her hip, leaning her side into the wall as she assessed the towering structures stretching up high across from her building. As her finger set on her lip, she traced around it, pondering the sullen thoughts inside her head. Colorado was always beautiful this time of year. With fall & winter there came a cool breeze that often lingered for the entire season. It constituted one of the few times she really appreciated living there. The reflection of the sunset made it seem even more magnanimous as it beamed off of the glass framed buildings, sending a shimmer of light throughout the darkening city.
A week ago, that same color, mixed with the seasonal chill in the brisk air would have brought a small smile to her lips. It would have served as a reminder that somewhere out there in that great big world; so highly visible from her seven story walk up. Someone yearned for her.
It may have even made her blush with the thought. "Gorgeous." She would have said softly.
But not today. Today, there was no joy, or smiling. None at all. No soft redness of crimson to lift her spirits as it radiated through her cheeks.
Vixen removed her hand from her lip, only to place it onto the curtains hanging neatly beside the glass. Deep in thought, she began to finger with the seams of the heavy fabric.
This was not right. She felt completely alone, and that was not a place she liked to visit too often. As the sun continued to set beyond the hustle & bustle of the city, it seemed to trap her tonight. She knew that no matter where she went, there was no place she could go where she could escape her own mind. Besides, running away from things was never her forte`.
Taking her hand from the curtain, Vixen turned from the window. "To Hell with it." she thought bitterly. "To Hell with him...To Hell with it all." Tying a silk headscarf to rest over top of her spirals, she drew nearer to the couch inside her small apartment, she couldn't help but to feel increasingly agitated as the realization came to mind that in her twenty-one years of life, she had only taken this kind of risk once before, and the fact that she had actually trusted she wouldn't get hurt this time, was what really egged her the most.
Angered by the thought, she began searching her sofa for the small paper box that meant easy comfort.
"C'mon, where are you ya damn thing." she grumbled at herself in frustration, her hands seemed to search more sporadically the more annoyed she got. A few stray curls escaped her bandanna, splaying over the roses that were artfully stitched into it's design. They came to rest beside her cheeks, irritating her more. Finally, she felt her anger bubble back down as her fingers traced over something small wedged in the crack. "Hah!" Picking one of the cigarettes' from her pack, she placed it to her lips and set it aflame. "Victory." she muttered sarcastically to herself, trying ever so hard to blur the hateful thoughts that just kept drawing to mind. She'd been through heart aches before, and not necessarily from men alone. She even came to expect it over the years. So much ,in fact, that she now felt immune. It was nothing new to her. So why was she so pissed at the fact that another one had fucked it all up?
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that this man wasn't just "another one" come and gone from her life. This man, was a friend, and a longtime one at that. Beginning a slow pace around her living room, she ranted on to herself as she puffed down nicotine. "How could he do that to me?! After knowing me this long; After all he's seen me go through...Hell, after all we've gone through together! How could somebody just say 'screw it' after all that, not only to a lover, but to someone they supposedly care for in general?" So many questions raced. To her, it just didn't add up. Sure, Vixen would agree that trying to turn an old friendship into a new romance wasn't an easy transition to make. She would also agree that dating a friend at all wasn't the smartest move in the world either, especially given the fact that this in particular friend wasn't even supposed to be associating with her to start with. Normally, that would be a huge No-No in her personal rule book.
It had been a while since the last time she'd felt crazy enough to jump on the stupid train, but with him, it was as if he blew a whistle only she could hear, calling her to catch the ride. Vixen couldn't help but to conceive the idea that she'd be more than willing to try, especially if he was the conductor.
It seemed she could never escape the rush of feelings that were brought on whenever he came around. Soon enough, she became addicted to it. As time passed, those undeniable feelings turned into an undeniable want, then slowly but surely, that undeniable want turned to an unquestionable need. No matter how hard she fought it internally, she only craved him more and more. She just couldn't help herself. And recently, it became clear that she was not alone in that.
Even at the beginning of the five years they had known each other, she couldn't help but feel her heart leap with excitement whenever Gregory Barrot's gaze turned upon her, or for that matter, escape the agonizing feeling of jealousy when it did not. Who was she kidding? By the end of year one, she was hooked. If not by the first day or two. As soon as he walked through her doorstep in all of his muscular, 'brown-haired blue-eyed' perfection asking to use a phone after a breakdown on the wrong side of town, it would be fair to say that she immediately felt there was some sort of a difference in him compared to other guys or even people in general that she had met in her time.
As much as she would try to convince herself otherwise, she just couldn't conquer the rush of lust and emotion that would hit her when they touched, even the slightest bit. The warm twinge that arose in her gut when his intense blue pools met her almond haze never ceased to send a shockwave down to the unmentionable places quivering inside her body. There was no hiding from herself the feeling that every time he'd reach for a hug goodbye, she'd secretly be hoping that hug would turn into a kiss. In a lot of ways, it felt a lot like what most people would call 'love'. Only thing was, she didn't believe in love. Or at least, love never believed in her. To Vixen, love was just a silly game people played that always ended up putting one or the other into tears, and after all she'd be through in life alone, that was something she definitely wanted no part in.
"No thank you. You can keep all that." She'd kid whenever a friend would tease her about the possibility of becoming serious with someone. Then, after getting in a quick laugh, she'd finish off with "Just leave the fun parts for me."; Following the line with a wink.
"You're hopeless Vix." They would jokingly retaliate. "We'll find out who has the last laugh about it. Just wait, one day, one day it'll happen. And when it does we'll be laughing our asses off with I-told-you-so's."
As it would turn out, the joke was on them.
Now that she had actually considered becoming an item with someone, she wasn't laughing at all, and neither was anybody else. In fact, she wished she'd never consider it at all, especially not with him.
Yet she just couldn't manage to get the stupid memories out of her head. She would rather die than admit it to anyone, but secretly, inside herself, she didn't want to. Instead, she didn't fail to keep tracing them over and over in her brain, hoping to somehow engrave them in, and at the same time, scratch them out of the cold stone on which they were written. She remembered the way it felt when he held her. Like it was their own little bubble where the outside world was banned from contact. There was one memory in particular she just couldn't shake, one of her favorites.
-The sun shone brightly through sheer white curtains as sunrise kissed the tangled parts of their skin, swirling them together like a mix of caramel and honey milk. It danced upon their hair, lighting up the room, along with any possible darkness that still lingered.
It was an absolutely picturesque scene. Everything was so beautiful, and her eyes weren't even open yet.
