The alarm screeched in Connor's ear. He tensed blinking, letting his eyes focus and adjust to the rays of sun forcing their way through his curtains. His head was throbbing. he contemplated his day covering his eyes with his fore arm. He could try to sleep but he was sure nightmares would haunt him even in the protection of day light. He shivered sweat cooling.
He swallowed hard, closing his eyes against the images taking control of him. In his dark dreams it was Alex a he saw at the party not Gauge. It was flashing green-gold eyes glaring at him instead of curious gray ones. It was her petite frame he pulled out of the crowd bleeding and bruised. It was her he dragged away as bullets zipped passed them.
"Keep running," he shouted but the words didn't come out his chest was heavy and it was getting harder to pull her along. He had to get her away had to get her somewhere safe. She stumbled falling soft on the ground. She cried for him, calling his name. "you have to get up!" he picked her up blood trailed down her face, she was lifeless on the ground, her body sprawled like a forgotten rag doll
"Fuck!" he shouted jerking up the dream was so real he hadn't even realized he fell asleep. He shivered as his skin puckered with cool sweat and colder fear. He covered his face with his hands and rubbed them back until the were pushing his damp curls from his face. "what the fuck?" he demanded to the empty room, "you are a fucking idiot" he muttered to himself it wasn't the first time his dreams about Alexa got to him but this one...this left him so cold and scared he was sick with it. His emotions a storm of conflict turning from disgust to anger that she could push her way into his thoughts just like she pushed her way into is life.
He wished he could stay in bed and sleep off the consistent gnawing in his head, but he knew he would toss and turn with dark images of Alexa. He didn't have the patience or the courage to ask himself why she was so impressed in his mind. He swung his legs over the bed his feet thudding heavily on the carpet carrying all the weight he felt.
He stepped into the shower. Steaming pellets of water drumming against his skin. It massaged his his aching worn body. He pressed his head against the cool tile. He grit his teeth and forced himself to swallow the lump of bile in his throat. After Melendez he'd ask for a transfer. No other case gripped into him like this and it was all because he was physically closer to his family.
*
Alexa could barely open her eyes. They were puffy and swollen. Her throat ached from a night of sobbing and her skin was still tender and sensitive from last night's blast of scorching water. A noise similar to a groan but closer to a croak rumbled out of her chest as she thought about how she ran out of Allan's house and wondered how she would ever have the courage to face him again. Her phone vibrated on the night stand blinking and dancing for her attention. It had done that all night. She knew it had to be Allen with a bunch of questions she didn't want to answer.
What is wrong with her? The world was closing in on her. she was so afraid, afraid of him, afraid of how he would feel about her if she told him the truth. She knew she should talk to him, but what could she say? She couldn't hide behind anger. Any harsh words would fade when she saw the sincerity in his dark eyes or the concern molded on his dark brown face. She could almost hear the lullaby of his voice flowing out like soothing music.
She knew the truth about herself and should have told him. There had to be plenty of women out there who could give in to him . Between the new fits she was having and her frigidity...oh she knew she was frigid Marcus told her often. she knew she could never be what he deserved and no doubt wanted in a woman. It didn't help that whenever he touched her her mind and her response were linked to Connor. Connor of all people angry, dangerous, bullheaded Connor. She spent the evening home alone between crying and forcing herself to over come her fear and anxiety about her body about sex and only managed to hate herself and the idea of sex more. She tried to manipulate her her body the way Connor had. She couldn't duplicate the driving hunger he caused or the breathing taking release he punished from her. Frustration and shame rotated in union with her hips making her movements awkward and rythmless.
Now she covered herself with her blanket wanting to forget last night's attempts and drown out the persistent buzzing. She had to brake up with Allen. She had to let go before his patience turned into violence or his interest turned into conquest.
*
Bella felt the strong steady beat of Gauges heart thudding into her back. She loved the music their hearts created together giving her hope, giving her courage. His hands seared her skin through her t-shirt. Her stomach tingled and dropped with questions with possibilities. Her thoughts raced so far so fast she couldn't keep up with them. She wasn't sure she wanted to. She squeezed her eyes tighter fighting her flight mode. No she wanted this, she wanted him. Her nostrils flared as she inhaled and bit her lip ready to take a plunge in the dark waters of faith. She turned her body toward his. Exhaling opening her one good eye, the other swollen shut as the cost of her new freedom. She strained to focus, "Oh Gauge!" a rainbow of bruises painted his face with bruises.
"Hmm," he grunted pulling her closer. Her hand moved to his face, her thumb gently brushed his split swollen lips. "hey," he grumbled as he blinked and squinted.
"Gauge?" he smiled wanly and he looked into her searching dark eye a tempest of questions and emotion, so full of her own pain and now his. It shimmered with unshed tears.
"No, no munch don't cry, don't cry." his thumbs caught her tears her black and purple eye pulsed as tears dripped from the sealed slit, he bit back the anger overwhelming him. He ignored the pulsing throbbing soreness coursing through his body and rolled on top of her. He brushed her hair aside kissing each temple, each eye, each cheek, inhaling her sweetness melting into her softness.
"Gauge?" she pushed weakly. He overwhelmed her. The room spun around her.
"No questions, not now,'' he kissed her nose feeling his influence over her, weaving a spell of comfort.
"but your face-"
"I'm okay," his lips were a dream brushing against hers light and vague. "Sweetheart," he whispered against her prickling skin, "you're so fucking soft." he held himself on either side of her head his mouth explored the tenderness of her neck.
"But-" his lips were so persuasive, "oh," she moaned as his teeth sank into her, he sucked and licked.
"Not now, I won't ask any and you won't not right now." She nodded loosing herself in his words, in his touch, "I like this, don't you honey?"his hands traced her body. She nodded. "I can't hear you, you have to say it." his thumbs rubbed circles over her cloth covered nipples. She arched moaning and trembling. She tried to answer only to have her breath caught in new caresses. "Answer me."his voice was soft in his demand.
"Yes-yes," she choked out, his hands grazing the hem of the t shirt. Shame made her tense, he would see how much her freedom cost. "Gauge," she tried to push at him. His gaze stilled hers and he knew where her thoughts were.
"Trust me," he said his hand moving under shirt to her full globes. "i just want to touch you." She nodded, she did trust him and he was so beautiful now looking up at her with those eyes, those metallic orbs. He kissed her skin through the fabric promising once they healed he was going to spend quality time with every inch of her. His kiss ran down the valley of her breast to the slope of her stomach.
He could smell her, almost taste her sopping eagerness. He deciphered the different notes of her, from the sweet to the tart to the spice. His mouth watered and his body was rock rigid. He couldn't wait to take a nice long lick and he wasn't going to. His figures traced the lining of her panties, traced the outline of her protruding lips pulsing and flinching for his touch. He smiled kissing her thigh. She called his name making it a desperate musical chant. Bella's hands clutched the pillow above her head. Her back arched and collapsed as his lips moved higher kissing the wet cotton clinging to her sweetness. And she was sweet, honey and cream. He sucked through her the cotton mashing his face deep into her.
"Mm mm," he growled against her.
"Please," Bella whimpered pushing her hips forward, as Gauge slid her panties aside.
"Fuck," he hissed watching her pulse and cream for his touch.
