We're going back a few years now but in the mid nineties I left school with decent 'A' levels and before going to university I decided to take a year out and have a good time by going to parties and concerts and chase girls. But since I didn't have a "bank of mum and dad" to bank roll me I realised I would need to get myself a job so that I could afford to do all these things (especially going out with girls; they cost a fortune!) So I got a job at a call centre for an insurance company in their claims department. It was a terrible job; the calls never ended and nor did the complaints. The only good thing about the job were the people who worked there. They were a great bunch and like me just wanted to have a good time and have a good laugh.
Some of the girls there weren't too bad either in fact there were a couple there who were really fit but there was one in particular...one that we all had wet dreams about. Her name was Harriet but she looked exactly like Sophia Loren the famous Italian film actress (and if you don't know who that is google her). She had the same big dark eyes, the same full mouth and straight nose and the same lovely short curly black hair and a lovely dark complexion. You couldn't take your eyes off her. And her voice just added to her magnetism; it was a deep throaty purr just like a cats. The way she moved with effortless grace and elegance was utterly mesmerising. Some thought her mouth a bit too wide or that her nose was a bit too long but that is just nitpicking in my opinion. Put them all together and the result was stunning. She was a good deal older than us but all the same none of us would have said "no" given half a chance.
She didn't work in the motor claims department unfortunately but was a team leader in marketing and publicity so we didn't see much of her and didn't really get to know her that well. But by all accounts she did seem to have a reputation of being very prim and proper and not much fun at all and from what I heard she took herself very seriously and expected everyone to take her seriously too. She didn't suffer fools gladly it seems and if you put a foot wrong then she would quite happily hack it off so she was not the kind of woman with whom you could have a bit of a joke and a laugh or flirt with over a drink. Still, it didn't stop us lads from speculating about what kind of men she liked and what she must be like in the sack. Some held that she was too uptight to be any fun and that shagging her would like shagging a piece of wood while others were of the the opinion that she would be pure filth in the sack on the grounds that "still waters run deep" and no water was as still or as deep as Sophia Loren. So while we knew she was married we couldn't make up our mind whether hubby was a lucky bastard or not.
Then one day the company decided to treat us all to a big bash in Wakefield. It started at right after work with a meal and then we spent a bit of time at a fairground and after that the serious drinking began. There must have been forty or fifty of us at least and to my surprise, and to the surprise of many others, Sophia Loren was there too with some people from her department. but without her husband.
Anyway it was about ten o'clock at night or even later and the whole crowd of us where in this nightclub drinking and dancing and thoroughly enjoying ourselves. Some of us more daring lads were busy screwing up the courage to ask Sophia Loren for a turn on the dance floor but when they did finally get round to asking her she kicked them into touch which was obviously hilarious and they took their embarrassment with as much grace as they could muster. But what put their noses really out of joint was then seeing her on the dance floor with some black kid who can't have been much older than us, if that. Why was she doing that? We had to wonder. He wasn't one of us? and why was she going out of her way to dance with a black and not with me or Dave or Harry or Ian? And you should have seen him on the dance floor acting like he was cock of the roost showing off to Sophia Loren with all his fancy moves with his hands all over her as he ground his body against hers. If that wasn't bad enough when eventually Sophia Loren came back to the bar for a rest that bugger came with her and cheekily offered to buy her a drink. Not surprisingly some of the lads took exception to this and made their feelings crystal clear.
"fuck off mate! If she wants a drink we'll buy her one!" some one called out.
