Well, shit, I thought to myself. What the hell do people even do on dates? I think I was more nervous than excited at the prospect of spending a whole evening alone with Gio. Stacey was away with Alan so I had nobody to vent to or ask for fashion advice for that matter. I'd never been on a date in my life. I was worrying about what to wear when Gio sent me a message saying that he'd be free the whole day so he thought we should go to the botanical gardens and have a picnic instead. Even though I loved picnics, I thought it was a pretty intimate thing to do on a first date. I wondered if we'd have anything to talk about and I wondered what it all meant.
I still wasn't really sure what was happening between us but I did know that I liked him. I really liked him. But I still had a few questions for him before I could allow myself to be all in. Relationships were messy things that I'd managed to avoid for my whole life but now I'd suddenly been thrown into one with somebody I hadn't expected at all. After all this time of being rejected by people that I liked, I'd never really given much thought to being with a guy.
I grew up with no self-confidence at all and feeling so insecure that it hurt. I'd been overweight for as far back as I could remember and I'd spent my whole life hating myself. Looking in the mirror made me want to cry every day and people's relentless comments ate away at me. All I could do was sit for hours in the library and study myself out of the hell-hole my parent's lives had pushed me into.
For the longest time, I always thought that there was something the matter with me and occasionally still I did but then one day I figured that I probably just wasn't ready to bring somebody else into my life yet. I still had too much work to do on myself before I could make space for anybody else in my heart. It had taken my whole life but I was finally at the point where I was slowly accepting myself the way that I was and developing a confidence I'd always been lacking.
My life as an engineer was so busy anyways. I didn't have time to try and squeeze a guy in with all the drama it would bring into my life. I'd even forgotten what it felt like to like somebody. The butterflies I felt when I thought of Gio and all his manliness were foreign to me. I was fighting the attraction I felt towards him because I didn't want it to grow too quickly but even I knew that I was lying to myself. I would just have to see how things went.
I opted for a light pink, chiffon dress that came to just above my knees. It was one of my favourite dresses because it made me feel truly pretty. The fabric was wonderfully light and the neckline showed just enough cleavage for me to still look classy. I'd washed and conditioned my hair so that I could get the curls under control and decided to leave it loose. I hadn't left my hair down in a long time so I was actually very surprised to see how long it had become. I kept it in place with a white ribbon and finished my look off with white pumps. I quickly made Gio and I some lunch before I heard a knock at my door.
"Coming!" I shouted, as I hurried from the kitchen.
I opened the door and the sight that met my eyes almost had me swooning. Gio was dressed in a simple green t-shirt that made his eyes more piercing than ever and dark blue jeans. I don't know how he did it but he always seemed to find pants with a sensationally good fit and the bulge at the front of his pants seemed to be calling out to me.
"Hey, my eyes are up here!"
"Huh? Oh!" I said, blushing.
I hadn't realised that I'd been staring so openly at him. He chuckled and leaned in to give me a hug. Once again, I was enveloped in those powerful arms of his and pressed tightly against his chest. His hands rested dangerously close to my ass and to be honest, I wouldn't have minded if they'd gone a bit lower.
"It's okay. How are you?" he asked, letting go of me.
"I'm great thanks," I replied, smoothing my dress down and trying to catch my breath
.
"That colour looks so beautiful on you," he said with a sincerity that made me blush again.
It was his turn to appraise me and he made no effort to hide the fact that he was admiring my body in my dress. He may as well have been looking at me naked.
"Sorry for changing plans on you so suddenly," he continued. "It's just a really beautiful day today and I thought it would've been a real shame to waste it."
I saw him look past me towards the picnic basket I'd packed and he smiled.
"You really didn't have to make us food you know. I've already done that."
"What?" I asked.
"Like I mean I cooked us lunch. It's in the car."
"You can cook?" I asked him, surprised.
"Well I hope so. It's been a while. Believe it or not, I actually enjoy it. It comes with being Italian! Come on, let's go."
*****
She still wasn't completely comfortable around me, I could tell. I'd been watching her for most of the afternoon and she kept self-consciously adjusting her dress and glancing at me every now and again. I was at a bit of a loss as to what to do to make her believe that I really meant no harm. While I was thinking of something good to say, I settled for just watching her. Angie really was beautiful. The pink of the dress she was wearing complemented her skin and I'd been watching the hem ride up higher and higher, exposing more of her soft thighs. I was tempted to touch them but decided against it. Eventually, I decided to beckon her towards me.
"Come here," I said to Angie.
"Sorry?" she said, her mouth full of cheese and crackers. It made me smile.
I leaned back against the tree we were sitting next to and made a gap for her between my legs
"Come here," I said again.
She looked at me hesitantly and nervously looked around to see if there was anybody nearby. I could hear a few kids laughing in the background but they weren't even in sight.
"I swear I don't bite," I told her, smiling as warmly as I could.
Eventually, she moved towards me and settled herself against my chest. It was the best thing I'd felt in a long time and I brushed a stray strand of her from her forehead.
"What's the matter?" I asked softly, looking down at her face.
"What do you mean?"
"You've been looking around like a caged animal the whole afternoon. I thought we were here to have a good time."
There were a few moments of silence before she sighed heavily.
"I don't know, I think I'm just a bit confused. It kind of feels like things are moving a bit quickly. I like you it's just that..."
"What?" I coaxed.
"I've never been with a guy before," she said quietly.
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Like, I've never dated anybody before. I mean my first kiss was the other night in the McDonald's."
"Really?" I asked. I was very surprised that I'd been her first kiss. If I'd known, I definitely would've made it better than it had been.
"Yeah, really. So I don't know what I'm doing. Sorry if I'm acting a bit weird."
"There's nothing to be sorry about. Thanks for telling me, I was starting to think I did something."
"Gio?" Angie asked suddenly
"Yeah?"
"Please tell me more about yourself."
I knew that it was her way of subtly asking me to tell her how and why my life had turned out the way it had and I was glad to tell her if it made her more comfortable with me. Angie was something special and I had no intention of screwing things up with her. I launched into the story about my family, what they did and the fucked up relationship I had with my dad. I told her about how I hung out with the wrong people in school because I didn't want to be associated with my father and how I ended up joining a gang as a result. I had to rob a jewellery store at gunpoint as my initiation and I got caught. That was it. It was just a long list of very stupid decisions on my part.
"Even though I was trying to get away from my dad, all that shit I was doing wasn't really me. It was so difficult but I couldn't afford to show any weakness so I just did whatever they told me. They knew I had money and they knew what my dad does so they had leverage over me. Once I was in, I didn't really have a choice. I think I'm actually a pretty alright person. The time in prison just gave me a chance to discover that again. All that shit is behind me now. I just really want you do to see that. Anything else you want to know?"
"Nah that's okay. Thank you for telling me."
"Anything for you," I mumbled.
*****
Things went pretty smoothly after that. I could see that Angie felt way more comfortable around me and that, for some reason, made me very happy. She didn't flinch as much when I touched her, she smiled more openly at me and she even kissed me a few times. Angie was waking up parts of me that had been sleeping for a very, very long time.
More than once during the day, I found myself having to try my best to hide my hard on. Even though I was pretty upfront about how I felt about her, I could understand why she was so hesitant for things to move along as quickly as they were. I also thought my feelings were running away with me. One moment I was busy trying to get back on my feet after eight years in jail, and the next I was falling for the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life. I couldn't stop it if even if I wanted to.
It was like plummeting into this blissful abyss with nothing to hold on to. I'd never expected something so...normal to happen so soon after my release. I'd been ready to struggle through the long process of getting the people I knew and didn't know to trust me again. I'd been expecting to be an outcast, somebody that everybody hated just because of where I'd been. I definitely hadn't expected somebody to just accept me with open arms the way she had. It almost seemed too good to be true.
I had to admit, I was disappointed when we arrived at Angie's apartment block. It was late but luckily I had the next day off as well, so I could afford a late night out, I thought hopefully. I'd already planned on taking it slow with her, just because she wasn't anything like anybody else I'd ever met but knowing that she was a virgin...I hoped I wouldn't scare her away. I knew she wanted me but I wasn't sure how to move things along without freaking her out because I wanted her and I wanted her bad.
"Do you want to come in?" Angie asked suddenly.
I hesitated. I didn't know how long my self-restraint would hold up in her apartment.
