In life that we have plans, dreams, ambitions, and goals. Some of us get married, start new careers, families, and develop new friendships. I have fulfilled most of my goals, but maybe not all of my dreams or fantasiesâŠin no particular order. I am 25, and married with one child. I reside in Orlando, FloridaâŠthe heat capital of the nation. I havenât lived here all my life, but most of it. Being an African American female has its perks. For one, we were born with good genes (well, most of us), common sense, and natural curves.
I have never cheated on my husband and have always stayed faithful to him, until one particular nightâŠthat changed everything. I decided to go online (due to boredom) and enter a chat room. People were talking about this and that online, and I wasnât paying much attention until one particular person with the screen name of âCaliforniaManâ entered the chat room. I have to admit, I was in a chat room that was designed for older adults, but hey, I am old enough. For some particular reason, I clicked on his screen name and read his profile.
To my surprise, he had a picture to view. I clicked on the link, and boy was I surprised! This man was absolutely gorgeous! He from what I could tell, he looked about 6â. He has short brown hair (I love dark haired men), nice physique, and a killer smile. Though he was a white man, that didnât bother me all. I am in the Generation X category, so anything goes. Race has never been an issue for meâŠever. I have always been attracted to white men, although I have never made love to one. I saw him exit the chat room, but I followed him and decided to send him an instant message.
We chatted online for hours! He was from California, and was a very successful software engineer for a large Engineering firm in San Francisco. He being wealthy didnât faze me; it was his personality. Of course being online, anyone can lie, and make up whatever they wish about themselves, but I truly believed this man. He told me his name was Mark, and I told him my name was Kelly. With me being a married Christian woman, I knew this was a sin to even be chatting online with him, even having explicit conversations with him as well.
I was feeling so guilty about talking with him, but I could not control myself. He had dated a few black women, but never in a serious relationship or sexual. We were in the same situation seemingly, but I was married, and he was not. I asked him his age, and he told me he was 33. Perfect! I love older men. Always have. Over the next couple of weeks, we talked online as often as we could. I knew I had responsibilities at home: a husband and a child to tend to, so I couldnât make Mark my focus.
But something deep inside of me yearned for him. It could have been the fact that he was an attractive older white man, and my number one fantasy was to see what it was like to make love to one. Each conversation that we had was better than the last. Our main topic was not sex all the time, but we talked about worldly issues as well.
One particular night, close to the holiday season, Mark and I were up for our usual late night online chat. This particular evening changed everything. Mark and I were discussing the possibility of meeting someday.
âI am not too sure about this Markâ, I said.
âWhy?â he typed back.
âBecause I am married, and this is wrong.â I replied.
âYou always say that, yet you continue or friendship. We can just be friends you know? But I really like you Kelly and I would never force you to do something that you wouldnât want to doâŠever. Please know thatâ, he said.
âOkâ, I agreed.
âBut you and I both know that we are on other sides of the country, so a serious relationship would never workâŠ.and you are married, so it makes it difficult on the both of us. Yâknow?â
âYes, I knowâ, I replied.
But every time I thought of this man, he made me wet just thinking about him. I tried to fight my feelings and my desires. My heart was telling me no, but my vagina was saying something else.
âI donât use women. I was not brought up to not hurt and use people. But I am not perfect either. I will be very honest with you Kelly. I want you. I want you bad. I donât mean to be disrespectful to your husband and child. But I promise you, I would never intentionally hurt you.â
I replied, âI know. You tell me all the time. I know I may never hear from you again, and that bothers me. I am afraid of falling in love with youâŠthatâs the thing, and that would be a disaster. I know my husband is supposed to fulfill my fantasies and desires, but I want you too, and I feel very selfishâŠand itâs not rightâŠâ
Before I could finish my sentence, quickly typed with an interruption: âI know how you feel. If you are concerned about those things, we shouldnât be sexually involved then. Iâd rather not do this, and of us gets hurt. I really like you, but I donât want to hurt you either. But I promise you thisâŠI will treat you like a lady, respect you in every way, and bring you into total ecstasy.â
Ecstasy? Mark made me quiver when he said that. I was afraid to ask him what he would do to me, but I just had to know. My vagina began to become wet againâŠjust by thinking about it. So, I asked:
âEcstasy? What would you do?â I asked.
âAnything you want me tooâ, he replied.
âAnything?â
âYes. Just say the wordâ.
âBe we are so far awayâ.
âI know!â he exclaimed. âBut I can fix thatâ, he suggested.
âHow?â I asked.
âI will send you a first class ticket to San Francisco. You can come whenever you want. Surprise meâ.
By this point, I was nervous. I didnât know what to tell Josh about me going to San Francisco. I knew I had to make up a lieâŠwhich I didnât like to do. But I wanted him so badly. More than ever before. Finally, I told him: âGo ahead and send the ticketâ.
âOkâ he answered. âAre you sure?â
âYes, I am sureâ.
âOk, I will send one next week. You have about 3 months to use it before it expires. Just thinking about you getting on that plane to see me is making me so hard! I wish you could see me now. I wish you could touch meâŠfeel meâŠput your mouth on meâŠâ
I was getting so hot by him telling me this. And at the same time, I wondered if he was running game to get some pussy. There was only one way to find out, but I sensed gentleness about MarkâŠand he was super sensitive. I put my hand down into my soaked panties and felt my wetness. This was unreal, and the man hadnât even touched me yet!
Before he could finish his sentence, I replied: âDonât tease meâŠplease. My pussy is so wet right now, and it aches just thinking about you. MarkâŠ..I would let you do anything to me that you want me too. Except the anal stuff. Nothing goes up my ass. Sorry.â
âOk. No worriesâ, he replied. âI wish I could be there with you now. I could come to Florida too you know? I just donât want your husband to kill me. But Kelly, I do like youâŠa lot. You are a very sincere person. But, I do want to make love to you.â
I couldnât bring myself to tell him I wanted the same thing, but I knew I wanted him bad. I begin to fantasize about us renting an expensive hotel here in downtown Orlando, and just making love for hours. I thought about him eating my pussy until I came (which has never happened to me before). I thought and wondered how he moved his hips when he made love, if he used protection, and if he would be gentle with me. I had to explain to him that I rarely have sex with my spouse (for unspecified reasons), and that my vagina was always tight.
His reply sent me into a loop: âItâs ok. I will be gentle with you. I promise. I will make sure I eat you out enough to make sure you are relaxed and comfortable. Thatâs what my tongue is for. Kelly, I have always dreamed of making love to a black woman. You would be my first. If you ever change your mind and couldnât go through with itâŠIâd understand. I would still like you anyway. You understand?â
I quickly typed, âYesâŠ.and thanks youâ.
âCan we talk on the phone for a minute before you go to bed?â he asked.
âSure. Call me on my cellâ, I answered.
I quickly signed of, grabbed my cell phone, and stepped outside, making sure not to wake my husband. About 5 minutes later, Mark called. I felt so relieved! His voice was strong and masculineâŠand I liked that. We discussed our potential rendezvous, and other issues as well. I felt so at home with this man and I have to keep from falling in love with him. He knew all the right words to say.
Before our conversation ended, he said the unspeakable.
âKelly, I know this may sound a bit clichĂ©, butâŠif your man wonât take care of youâŠI will. I will take care of you and your sonâ.
I was shocked and pissed at the same time. I mean, I am an independent woman, and didnât need any man taking care of me! But, I knew he was serious. I didnât reply to his statement, but just said: âOk. Goodnight Mark. Dream about meâ.
âDittoâ, he replied. And the conversation was over.
Our phone and online conversations concluded at their normal pace. 2 weeks later my boss came to me and told me that they are going to be opening up a new mortgage branch in California. I asked him what part of California, and he said âSan Franciscoâ.
My heart nearly dropped! He then told me that he wanted me to go to San Fran for a few days to scope out new marketing and location potential. This would be the perfect opportunity to meet Mark! Yes! I agreed to go, and 1 week later, I was on a plane to San Francisco.
Chapter 2
I debated on whether or not I should meet Mark, as I knew I was a Christian womanâŠ.and married. Those thoughts flooded my mind. But sinful me kept thinking about MarkâŠand him being inside of me made me want to jump out the plane. I never told Mark I was in San Francisco. I decided to surprise him. On Saturday, we were online as usual, and I asked him what he was doing that day.
âNothingâ, he said. I have a free day.