(There are many ways of getting a fencepost out of a guy's butt when it comes to finally making him propose marriage. A desperate girlfriend with two years invested in some happy bachelor, asks her sister for advice. Her sister says there could be more to a Christmas than just Santa coming down the chimney)
The majestic hills of Clarendon sloped gently over the well-watered plain, its flowering heather petals rolling against the soft, sensual breeze.
Candice sat perplexed under the large twisted oak tree, the same tree where Adam had first kissed her exactly two years earlier.
"You're thinking of him, I imagine," Barbara, her sister whispered.
"I think about him all the time," Candice said, her face etched with the strain of too many thoughts in too short a space of time. "In fact, sometimes I feel like he's all I damn well think about."
"It's only natural when you are so deeply in love. Did he remember that today was-"
"No," Candice answered, not waiting for her to finish. Instead she raised her chestnut brown eyes to gaze intently at a flock of red breasted robins, trail blazing across a bright blue sky.
Barbara thought to comment further, but then decided to leave well enough alone. Most guys had trouble remembering real anniversaries like wedding dates or birthdays. Remembering the date of the first day you met a girl and kissed her had great sentimental value, but most guys wouldn't think to write it down, much less remember it.
"I mean, it's not like I'm pissed he didn't call to mention it's been exactly two years since he first kissed me under this very tree."
"Well then, if it doesn't bother you, why do you think about it and why did you suggest we come out here to have a picnic? It doesn't faze you that he said he's going out with the guys to some ball game?"
"Had I reminded him of the day's significance, I'm sure he would have changed his plans and spent the day with me, but that's not what's got my heart in a knot."
"Fine, I'll bite. What is it that has your heart in a knot?"
"Well, it's the fact we've been dating and making love for two years, and well, that's all we're still doing, is dating and making love. I guess I didn't think about it so much before today, and then, this morning when I woke up, it just seemed to hit me like a meteor crashing down on my skull. We're still not married, and worse still, we're not even engaged. Two years to date a guy is a long time. I guess I've had so much fun and have had so many great times with Adam that I never gave it much thought before. We spend so much time together. If we're not having breakfast in bed, then we're having lunch, or if we're not having lunch then we're out to dinner and dancing. We just seem so enamored with each other. So why hasn't he gotten down on bended knee yet and offered me an engagement ring?"
"You're both still so young, so maybe he doesn't see the rush," Candice said reassuringly. "You're just twenty-one. And Adam is what, twenty-three? You both make such a great couple. I think we that are family, not to mention all your friends, automatically assume that you two will be married someday."
"Someday. Wow. Hardly etched in stone if he can't get the damn fence post out of his butt after two spectacular years of sexual bliss. What will it take to change him from a boyfriend into my husband, a silver bullet? I can't even technically call him a fiancΓ© because he hasn't proposed to me yet."
"There is, of course, the race and religion card he may be thinking about."
"The what card?"
"You know, the fact that for one thing he is white and you are a black girl. Maybe he is caught up in that angle, you know two people from different cultures and racial backgrounds, not to mention the second thing, you know, that you are Baptist and he is Catholic. He is devout in his religion, isn't he? I'm sure I heard you say once he goes to church every Sunday, am I right? Do you even try to go with him?"
To his church? I don't see the point. Church for me is boring. I mean, I'm not an atheist or anything. I don't even go to mine, well, maybe once every few months or so. Why would I go to his church if I don't even go to mine?"
"Well, if he is a big believer in the man upstairs, then, well, you know-"
"No, I don't know, especially since I never try to get in his way or discourage him from attending his church whenever, however. And as for the racial thing. We have such great chemistry that I'm sure neither of us even notices our skin colors any more when we're together. And our friends and families are so used to seeing us together that they probably don't notice it anymore either. I really don't think your race and religion card theory holds any water. You kind of frustrate me when you come up with these goofy thoughts."
"Easy girl. Don't get yourself all worked up. I'm only trying to help. But, have you told him how you feel about his lack of commitment? You know, how you're getting all impatient and uptight?"
"Well, only in passing here and there, you know, how it would be nice if he and I took that long walk down a short aisle."
"And?"
"He simply says it's something to definitely think about and then he changes the subject. It's very non-committal, don't you think?"
Barbara paused. It was a conversation she dreaded getting into. Many men had trouble making a real commitment. Chances were certain that Adam was not cheating on her, but marriage was a very big step, and so many factors came into play.
"Perhaps Adam doesn't think you two are ready to tie the knot?" Barbara ventured, waiting for her sister to bite her head off.
"How could you possibly even think that?"
"That's just my point. I don't think it, but Adam might. Marriage shouldn't be entered into lightly."
"So now you're taking his side?"
"I'm not taking anybody's side. I'm just playing the devil's advocate here for a minute. You two have your whole lives ahead of you, and-"
"Damn it sis, you make it all sound so casual. I'm very much in love. My entire world revolves around the guy, and I get the sense that the longer I take to nail him down is the more he will take our relationship for granted. I feel like I need to be around him even more than the air I breathe. I know that sounds clichΓ©, but for me it's very much real. I'd lose my mind if he ever broke it off with me, although I couldn't imagine him ever doing that. He seems just as in love with me as I am with him, but...but..."
"But what?"
"I don't know. I always get creeped out thinking how he might one day meet somebody new. Stranger things have happened. At least if he and I were already married it would be harder for him to cheat on me or run off with another woman."
"Really? Married men have affairs all the time. Don't forget also that marriage can sometimes suck all the fun and joy out of a relationship. Perhaps he thinks that things are going so remarkably well the way they are, that to rock the boat by getting married might upset the applecart so to speak."
"So what am I supposed to do? Never get married? I'm sure if you were in my place you wouldn't be giving yourself that same advice that you are giving to me now."
"Maybe. Who knows? I guess that old saying is true that unless you've walked a mile in a girl's shoes, don't try to judge her."
"Exactly."
"So I take it that this is the reason you invited me out on this little picnic today?"
"What reason might that be?"
"Don't be coy, sis. You want advice, or at least someone to be a sounding board for your ideas."
"What ideas might those be?"