***
Leif decided not to have any more liquor. He didn't want to have had too many when Lynne finally decided that she wanted to come around, and find him in the bar. He asked for an orange soda with a large, creamy head.
The bartender looked at him quizzically. There was hardly anyone else in the bar, and since the bartender was staring at him weirdly, for ordering a "wimpy" soda, he did what most men do when they are alone in bars and hardly anyone else is around but the bartender. He started to talk to him.
"I...I don't want to have too many. My wife doesn't like me to have too many when I get mad," said Leif.
He wasn't expecting to feel a warm surge in his heart when he called her his wife, especially because he was mad at her now, but Lynne was indeed his wife, a fact which made his lips curl up into a warm smile and away from the pouting scowl despite how upset he'd been with her when he first walked into the bar.
They had a bond so strong, even her shitty parents couldn't break it. Lynne was mad now, and he was mad, but he knew they would get over it and grow stronger for it besides. Even though he was mad at her right now, time apart from her had softened his mood and he knew his anger would pass.
Leif sipped the foam from the orange soda.
"She's a wise woman. Never a good idea to have too many when you are mad," said the bartender, sliding him a coaster.
"She's wise, beautiful too. We got mad at each other over something silly. I think she's confused. The way she's been raised has her so confused about what is up and what is down and what in the world she should be doing to protect herself from harm," said Leif.
He twirled around his glass and took a long chug.
"Can't always protect the ones we love. They have to want to be protected," said the bartender.
Leif took another long swig of the orange soda.
The bartender was right.
It was worth paying four dollars for the orange soda, for the advice and a chance to clear his mind and talk!
Lynne had to want to be protected. And for whatever reason, right now, she didn't want any protection. He was her husband, but she was still her own person and had her own choices to make, so long as those were not something like adultery to violate the sanctity of their marriage.
And, frankly, though he didn't like it, and they were bound to hurt her at some point based on what he'd seen, reaching out to her parents because they called did not violate the sanctity of their marriage. Maybe he was getting a bit too controlling. He only hid the phone call because he didn't want anyone hurting his baby. But he supposed that wasn't his right. He should have told her and left it up to her whether she wanted to answer, no pressure either way.
So Leif needed to apologize to her, for screening the calls.
Leif also had to be prepared in case the call she was planning on placing with her parents went well. Ultimately he wanted the call to go well, he wanted her parents to support and respect her as a woman with her own dreams who knew what she wanted out of life, and who she wanted to love. He was used to the paradigm of Lynne and Leif against the world, or Lynne and Leif against her parents at least. He had to learn how to focus on continuing to build a good, strong bond with Lynne that allowed her to have a functional relationship with her parents.
He knew what he'd done wrong now, and he was ready to apologize to his baby, anything to end the distance between them! And he was ready to help her with the bags if she hadn't already gotten them out to the car. Who was he to tell her she couldn't get the music box, when they'd gotten gifts for everyone else!
He just hoped that her mother didn't break her heart when she gave her the gift. But Leif would lovingly support her if this did occur. That was his job, just like she supported him when he told his parents the truth about the way he felt about them constantly rescuing him materially and buying them the Prius as a wedding gift.
He was to be there when the going got tough but it was not his right to give her protection that she didn't even want, and he understood why she would find that stifling. She had a right to know about the call. If she didn't want to take it, or wanted him to respond to her parents, she certainly could hide in his chest while he shooed away the world, but if she didn't want that, that was her right as well. It was up to her the decision to make, and he should have let her know about the call first, despite how intrusive it was on their lovely honeymoon.
He was ready to apologize to his baby, tell her he was sorry and he needed to respect her right to make her own decisions. It was ultimately up to her to decide when she needed to be womaned up and when she'd liked to be babied, not him.
He took a large swig of soda, polishing off the foam, trying to down it fast and return to Lynne when the door swung open abruptly, and there, wearing tiny little shorts, and looking like confection with mussed up hair, Lynne stood in the doorway, and as he peered closer at her pretty face, he saw tear streaked reddened eyes.
Holy Shit! He knew she was hurting as soon as he looked at her. That fast he could see that it went poorly!
He didn't think about anything else, even anything else he had just thought about it being up to her when she wanted to woman up or not. He just knew she'd placed that phone call and her face was streaked with tears and they didn't look like happy tears, and he knew that his baby needed his loving care to serve as a balm over her heart.
Shit. One thing that was critical, even though he felt it, was not to do anything to give the illusion that he told her so. She needed love and support.
"I'm right here little mama. It's okay. Come to your husband, come to your man," murmured Leif.
He knew he'd been changed by their love, and his higher purpose of cherishing and nurturing his wife, because he felt entirely unashamed to dote on her even in the cold, masculine, Spartan sports bar. Bartender be damned! Argument be damned. His woman needed him!
