This is the eighth of twelve chapters. To really understand it, you should read the previous chapters before reading this one. Once again, I want to thank my editor Terry for his valuable help! I hope you enjoy the story.
As Bridget looked back over the holiday season, the time seemed to be divided between highs and lows. Christmas had been a clear high point. Not only had she made love to Sian for the first time, but they were no longer dancing around their feelings. It was a little scary to have them out in the open but at least she knew that Sian felt the same way. Bridget felt like knowing that Sian loved her gave her a little bit of protection against being hurt.
She hoped that Sian thought the same thing, especially in the wake of one of the lows. With all of her planning for Christmas, Bridget hadn't given much thought about New Years and it hadn't gone well. Unlike Christmas where they could spend it together, it just wasn't possible to do that on New Year's Eve. She and Don had an invite to a party over at a neighbor's house but so did Sian. And Bridget couldn't go to both. She could only be with one person at midnight and in the end that was Don. It would have been impossible for Don to go to the neighborhood party without Bridget. It would have raised too many questions. Given a free choice Bridget would have rather gone with Sian but that meant Don being home alone on New Year's Eve.
Sian said she understood but it didn't stop it from hurting her. It was the first time in a while that Sian wasn't with the person she cared about on New Year's Eve. She went to her friend's party but she couldn't get Bridget's absence out of her mind. She ended up drinking a little too much and at midnight found herself alone in a bedroom feeling sorry for herself and wondering what she was doing. She started to write a text to Bridget asking that but deleted it before she sent it. Still the thought stayed in her mind and she was unable to dismiss it. It wasn't too long after midnight when Bridget sent her a text of her own. "I love you! Happy New Years! Wish I was there holding you close and giving you a kiss!" it said.
Sian tried to come up with a response but everything Sian wrote seemed to end up sounding forlorn. The last thing she wanted was Bridget pitying her. In the end, she just sent back "Love you too. Happy New Year!" Shortly after that, Sian called a cab and went home. Her phone buzzed a couple of times with text messages from Bridget during the ride but she didn't look at them until she got home. Once there Sian got ready for bed before reading the messages. One more had come through in the meantime.
"r u doing okay?
"my darling sian, you know i love you."
"sigh. i wish i was there with u! we'll talk in the morning i guess"
Sian looked at the messages. Bridget's worries were clearly coming through. After a moment's reflection, Sian realized that in refusing to answer she was being passive aggressive and that was something she hated. It was childish and would only hurt their relationship. She quickly typed a reply.
"sorry. was in cab coming home. i'm ok, just a little sad. i missed u. don't worry tho. really i am ok. Going to bed but see you tomorrow. i love u, bridge." She pressed send. Looking at the clock, she realized it was close to 1 AM. She hoped that they weren't in bed yet.
A few moments later Sian's phone buzzed again. "ok. missed you too. wish i was going to sleep with u" was Bridget's message.
Sian smiled briefly and then she put down the phone and slipped into bed. After flicking off the lights, she lay there. Despite of the number of drinks that she had had, her mind took a while to shut down. She picked up her phone and looked at the texts again. She felt a little better. Slowly she began to drift off into a restless sleep.
On New Year's Day, Bridget tried to make it up to Sian by spending the whole day with her and then staying the night. Don was going over to friends and watched football all day. He probably wouldn't even miss her until night. Bridget and Sian had a good time together but there were echoes from the night before. Both of them were a little jumpy and quieter than usual. Even when they were affectionate, there was the barrier of Bridget's promise not to go too far without Don being there. As much as she wanted to ignore it, Bridget felt obligated to stick to her promise.
As she thought back on the first, Bridget was glad that she spent the night. Even though they couldn't make love, it had been important in helping Sian understand how important she was to Bridget. Without Don around, Bridget hadn't felt constrained in expressing her feelings. While Sian hadn't said anything, Bridget was pretty sure that her choice to go with Don made Sian feel like she was a second priority to Bridget. She tried to make sure to let Sian know that wasn't the case and that she was just as important to her.
Even for Bridget, that had been a startling revelation. She wasn't sure when it had happened but she knew why. Part of it was a weakening of the ties to Don as he pushed her to fulfill his obsession and then allowed her to develop feelings for someone outside their marriage. Rather than protect their relationship, he had risked it.
The longer it went on, the more Bridget began to question how much he cared about their relationship compared to his desire to see lesbian sex. When they started with their fantasies, it had been a way to enhance their love life and connect more. But once the subject of lesbians had come up, that seemed to have been lost.
Even after he recovered from Christmas, he had not found it easy to make love to Bridget. He found that small nagging doubts kept getting in the way. Sometimes he wondered whether Bridget was comparing him to Sian while other times he couldn't get his failure on Christmas day out of his mind. Most of the time he had been able to ignore it and make love to Bridget but a few times he found that he couldn't maintain his erection. Each time it happened, Don dwelled on the problem and blew it up bigger in his mind which made the next time more difficult. And even though he tried not to, Don reacted by getting irritated and reflecting it back at Bridget.
The contrast to when Bridget was with Sian was stark. Because their time was limited and constrained, Sian appreciated any time that she got to spend with Bridget. Despite the frustrations of those limitations, Sian was able to keep them hidden and didn't let them get in the way of enjoying her time with Bridget. And she accepted the limitations without complaint. Sian knew what she was getting into when they started going out. As challenging as it could be, she had agreed to it. Sian also admitted to herself that she was so head over heels in love with Bridget that she took whatever she got.
Bridget hadn't yet talked about her feelings for Sian with Don; nor had she brought up whether he would accept allowing her to make love to Sian without him being there. It made her nervous to think about having the talk. Bridget just wasn't sure how Don would react. It was becoming increasingly important to her to have the talk. Without fully seeing it, Bridget was the one who was deciding the direction.
After having thought about it a lot, Bridget finally decided on a plan. She wanted Don's willing agreement. Don had begun pestering her again about having Sian over for another night. The only reason that it hadn't happened already was because of Sian's reluctance. It may be the price to pay for fully making love to Bridget, but she still didn't like doing it in front of Don. Still it had now been several weeks and Sian was willing to do it again. She wanted that unrestricted experience. Bridget thought that if they took a break in the middle after making love, which might be the best time possible to discuss altering the rules. This time, Bridget would insist that Sian be part of the discussion. Any agreement would have to be made by the three of them.
When Bridget was over at Sian's a couple of nights before, she asked Sian whether she would come over and spend the night. Sian missed the full intimacy they had on Christmas Eve, so it wasn't too hard to convince her during dinner.
"Darling," Bridget said with a smile after Sian had agreed. "You are so wonderful and have been so patient with me. I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate it or you!" She leaned over and gave Sian a little kiss. She loved the little happy sound that Sian made as the kiss ended.
"I know you do," Sian replied. "Don't worry about that."
"But it's important that I tell you. And I want to tell you that I'm planning on bringing up the ground rules when you come over. I want us to talk about them, especially the rule about only making love in front of Don. I know you don't like it. I don't like it either. I hope we can agree that sometimes we can do it without him." Bridget paused and watched Sian's reaction. She wasn't surprised but the grin on Sian's face was spectacular. It seemed to go from ear to ear. She reached out and pushed some hair away from Sian's face.
"My love, he might ask for something in return. In fact, I am pretty sure he will," Bridget said as she looked Sian in the eyes.
For a moment Sian wasn't sure exactly what Bridget was saying, then her eyes began to show understanding. "He is going to want to participate, isn't he?" she asked.
"At least sometimes, yes. But not with you, you know that. I would never ask or let him ask that. And I think he knows better in any case. Whatever he did, would be with me at the same time as you. I know it is the one thing that he really wants to do. He tries to hide it, but it is pretty obvious." Bridget was quiet as she watched Sian's reaction.
Initially Sian looked away. It wasn't that she was surprised. She knew at some point this was going to come up. But she still hadn't come to grips with how to respond. There was no question that she didn't like the idea. She had experimented with guys in her teens when she was figuring out her sexuality. It hadn't taken her long to know that she was truly lesbian and she never did anything with one again. She still had no interest. But deep down she knew it was more than that. Even though she knew that Bridget was married, she could still pretend that Bridget was hers as long as Don had been willing to stay in the background. She gave him that he had tried not to be intrusive and mostly succeeded. Sian hadn't found it hard to agree to that compromise.
This was different. Allowing Don to be part of their lovemaking would be a reminder that Bridget was his wife. To Sian, it felt like it would be throwing that fact in her face. She wasn't sure how hard that would be to take. At the same time, it would give her more time alone with Bridget.
