My girlfriend was the first woman I lived with, when I was a junior in college. We had a very tumultuous relationship over the next five years. We ultimately moved from Santa Barbara, CA to Madison, WI for grad school. Once there, she fucked her graduate advisor which led to the strange sexual encounter I had with our couples' counselor. But that is another story.
But, as undergrads, we led rather open and wild sexual lives. After a year living together we decided we decided to try an open relationship. We agreed to politely inform the other in advance of going on a "date" or spending the night away from home. Beyond that we also agreed not to discuss whom or what we did.
And although we were both having frequent dalliances, we still had sex together daily. Some people in open relationships find sharing stories arousing and use this to spice things up. I however, thought shared details might lead to insecurity or jealousy. I was right about that.
Despite our agreement she frequently asked me about what I did on my dates. I typically refused to provide details and reminded her that we had agreed not to discuss them. She would then say more general things like "Just tell me this... did you go down on her?" In fact, she asked that same question almost every time I had a date. I finally said "You know how much I like eating pussy. So, you can assume that I always do that." Then she changed her common question to, "Did she cum when you ate her?" I should have known this was a danger signal that would come back to haunt us later.
Once when we were at a party with a group of my pre-law, philosophy department buddies and their girlfriends, one of these women struck up a rather intimate conversation with me while my girlfriend was shooting pool. Janet complained to me about her boyfriend, who was one of my best friends in college. They lived separately and she felt he ignored her and treated her like a convenience rather than a girlfriend. She said she knew he was frequently with other women although they had agreed on monogamy. She asked me what she should do. I told her she had three logical choices, break up with him, confront him with your accusation and complaints and discuss things, or accept it as is and take on lovers of your own. I was half kidding about the last choice.
Janet responded immediately, "I like door number three. Are you interested?" She said it with no hint of irony. I replied, "Are you free tomorrow morning? I don't have class until 10am."
She said, "That' perfect. Bob is going home after this party to cram for a test, and I'm staying at my apartment. Do you know where it is? Can you come at 8?" Then she added with a smile and a wink, "hopefully several times." This was on.
That morning I found myself envying Bob a bit. Janet was incredibly responsive and a very creative lover. She was not shy about asking for what she wanted and came hard and repeatedly. We fucked so long that I missed my 10am class. Not surprisingly this quickly became a regular thing. We both lived very close to campus, her apartment was a short walk and mine was a short bike ride. We exchanged class schedules and made a fuck schedule to fit around our classes -- before, between or after. From that point on we were fucking two or three times a week. With that much action on top of my daily sex with my own girlfriend I stopped going out at night to take advantage of my open relationship status. But rarely, when Janet was home alone for the night, I would go over to her place and spend the whole night with her after playing one of my date night cards. Instead of an open relationship I found myself sort of transitioning into having two girlfriends.
On one of our all-nighters together Janet admitted to me that she was constantly thinking about the sex with me and dreading the "requirement" to have sex with my friend Bob. I told her that was flattering but that was also too much information. Afterall, he was a friend and my girlfriend and I were still socializing with Bob and Janet as couples. We got together frequently for dinner or to play cards and drink wine. Well, Janet and I explored the wine together. Bob was a beer guy, and my girlfriend was a sweet cocktail gal. This was the beginning of my serious study of wine, and I was sharing what I learned with Janet who was a willing student in the dining room as well as the bedroom.
Janet's confession about her feelings made me start to feel sorry for Bob and a bit guilty about fucking his girlfriend silly two or three times a week. That gave me an idea how I could sort of make it up to him without admitting what we had been doing. I casually suggested to my girlfriend, "Since we have an open relationship, why not ask Bob and Janet if they would like to swap with us?" At first, she was a little reluctant, so I did not press any further.
