It is the privilege, some say duty, of the young to embrace the fullness of life before they are overtaken by age and responsibility. That was the philosophy that I lived by in the wild and wonderful years shortly after I graduated from university. I was lucky enough to land a decent job in a great city, and had begun to spend my nights exploring the fascinating demi-monde of nightclubs, dive bars and all night parties. Over time, I had managed to accumulate a solid, trusting circle of friends with whom I could greet life in all of its glory. Never blinking. Never turning away. I was young, unfettered and the only thing I had to fear was regret.
The night was cool and chilly as I arrived at Jessica's apartment building. I was there to pick her up as we headed to our friend, Malcolm's, 30th birthday. An enfant terrible in his own right, Malcolm was one of the more extravagant friends I'd ever known and he had built up a notorious reputation for throwing fantastic parties, so there was no doubt that he was going to see his twenties off in high, decadent style. Now the only question was what qualified as high decadence.
"Hey, Chris, come on in. still getting ready. Sorry. You know how girls are."
Though, I quickly pushed such speculation from my mind as Jessica opened the door and greeted me. Jessica and I were friends going all the way back to university, when she was roommates and best friends with Teresa, my old ex-girlfriend and now Malcolm's fiance. Teresa and I had been together throughout our school days, but had broken up on near the end of our senior year. We were both young, both changing, and frankly, both stupid; unable to make up our minds about whether or not we wanted to be with each other. Arguments about needing some space turned into misinterpretations of cheating turned into jealousy and messiness. I kept my distance from Teresa for a while, but we both moved in the same circles, and we'd see each other around. Jess was always good, though, about playing the neutral mediator and playing down any awkwardness, always patient and always ready with a charming distraction.
"Make yourself at home, Chris. I just need to put some makeup on, and I'll be ready to go."
True to her word, Jessica didn't leave me waiting for long before she emerged, looking quite fetching indeed. She had donned a light gunmetal grey vintage-y dress that worked with her dark hair to bring out the blue in her eyes and clung to her body in all of the right ways. Jess could go on in lengthy tirades against the twigs that represented modern women's fashion, and unlike Teresa, who had a lean, dancer's body, Jess had curves that she was never shy of accentuating.
"So," Jessica asked as she grabbed her jacket, "any ideas what's in store for tonight?"
"No," I replied. "Do you have any theories?"
"Well," she said as she rooted about for her house keys, "Mal's been spending a bit of time talking to Tim and you know what that might mean." ...
Tim was our friendly neighborhood drug pusher; though he preferred the term "facilitator." While my friends and I were hardly what one might call addicts, we all certainly were experienced, most of us had enjoyed the occasional line of ecstasy or tab of LSD at a party in the past. Some folks use a vodka and Red Bull to prime themselves for a night out; we used amphetamines. It lowered inhibitions, made the night more fun, and so long as everyone knew what they were getting into, the drugs usually didn't create too much carnage. Usually.
"What do you think of that?" I asked Jessica.
"Well ..." she trailed off while considering her answer. She looked at me then, her blue eyes locking on me with her usual intensity. "We're all consenting adults. Besides, you're only young and invulnerable once, right?" ...
"Right."
In no time, we were in my car, heading down the city's main boulevards to Justin's downtown loft. Fast music on the stereo, anticipation building in our minds.
It was Justin who was hosting Malcolm's party. Best friends since before I knew either of them, Malcolm and Justin were an ideal pair, sharing tastes in wine, women and whimsy. Though, while Malcolm was the bon vivant, the dynamic center of gravity for any social situation, Justin was the quiet, more cerebral fellow who took care of all the details, planning events, setting the stage and making things happen. It was a division of roles that suited both of them quite well.
Even now that Justin was engaged to Olivia we hardly noticed any slowdown in his partying; and if rumors were to be believed, it seemed that Justin was still one to share his pleasure with his dear friend. Of course, I was never one to give much weight to rumor.
On the way there Jessica asked, "looking forward to seeing Teresa again?"
The time apart between Terry and I had been good for us, and we had both eventually gotten over each other. Now that she was engaged to Malcolm, the earlier tension between us had dissolved, though there was a still a way that we held each other's gaze a bit longer than everyone else.
For her part, Jessica had been a steadfast friend to both of us, giving me an attentive ear and supportive heart. While a part of me wondered what would have happened if things had been different, if I had started dating her instead of Teresa, another part realized that such speculation was useless. Our histories are our histories, and we can only think of what we can do, not what we could have done. Jess, for her part, always blushed whenever I brought the subject up and said it was just weird to think of it. She was our friend. That's the way she wanted it, and that's the way it would be.
We arrived at the party, and were apparently one of the last ones there. Justin was at the door to greet us.
"Good evening. We were about to cancel the party if you didn't show up."
"Oh gosh, why the pressure?" Jess said with mock embarassment. "We're not the ones having the birthday."
"Ah, but you, my dear are the one bringing all of the charm."
Probably the oldest member of our circle, a high paid software architect at some tech company, Justin had built a fairly nice life for himself in the way that all architects do ... one step and structure at a time. I always had the feeling that every word and every deed of his had some agenda or idea. Nothing nefarious, of course, but just constant and deliberate.
Behind him was his fiance, Olivia, a devastatingly gorgeous redhead with warm, green eyes, cute nose and luscious lips. The two of us had also been friends, but nothing more. Either I was in a relationship while she was single, or she was involved with someone when I was free. Now that she was engaged to Justin, it was just inconvenient, yet we both were fond of flirting with each other. That the ring on her finger made it clear how far either of us could go. She kissed me on the cheek and said that she was also glad that we had arrived.
