Finding Myself - Part 2
A little over a week ago, I had been a shy, 18 year old virgin, never been kissed. I had been on one date, which went badly and gave me the reputation of being frigid. I was body-conscious because of pre-pubescent issues which left a legacy, bordering on body dysphoria. I had only just started wearing clothes which weren't totally baggy and shapeless.
The only person who knew I had even the slightest interest in sex was my BFF, Brenda. She and I wrote sexy stories together, watched porn together and explored the whole world of sex in a theoretical fashion, never really considering that it applied to us.
Then I was forced to stay with my aunt and uncle. They were naturists, and embraced a Bohemian, totally open, swinging lifestyle. I was terrified. I had hoped they would moderate their behaviour while I was there. Instead, they decided it was a chance to 'help' me to come out of myself. I also hoped my sister would be an ally in resisting their approaches. She was not. She embraced the nudity, the easy-going sexual practices and every aspect of 'the lifestyle'.
That Debbie, my older sister, chose to spend most of the time naked, had sex with men and women, alone and in groups, at parties and in swinger clubs, should not have been a surprise. She had a regular turnover of short-term boyfriends and one-night stands, and a reputation for sharing her sexual favours easily. She was the antithesis of me.
I was resigned to hiding in my room for a week, reading moderately erotic novels, when my cousin, Josh came home from University. Like me, he rejected 'the lifestyle', and we bonded instantly.
We began a journey of sexual discovery, fuelled by honest expression of our desires, and an openness which many couples never enjoyed after years together. We explored one another, then had fun with close friends - my first experience with another woman - then played with acquaintances, who became friends.
We had oral sex, anal sex, tried bondage and spanking. We took photographs of one another and made videos. To date, nothing had been off limits. Best of all, we were in love. Our love transcended society's rules, and we treated sex as a shared pleasure to explore together. Our only rule was - whatever we do, let's do it together. We also agreed not to have full sex with anyone else. This was partly because we wanted something 'special' to us, and partly because we wanted to be certain we were practising safe sex.
So it was, that on my first day back home, I found myself in the doctor's surgery, asking him to put me on the pill. We had always used a condom to date, but I desperately wanted to feel his warm juices fill my pussy, and he wanted to feel my warm, slippery pussy directly against him, rather than a rubber sheath.
We had kept our relationship a secret until my aunt and uncle brought me home. Initially, we worried that, as cousins and blood relatives, it might be morally wrong - illegal even - then I learned that Josh was the product of my uncle's previous marriage. We still hid away, as we did not want to become public property to the naturist and swinger communities which my aunt and uncle belonged to. While we were shy virgins, the pressure to participate was minimal - as sexually active (vigorously active) young people, the pressure would have been intolerable.
When Debbie and I were taken home, Josh and I informed everyone that we were together. My mum embraced the idea. She liked Josh and respected his resistance to my aunt and uncle's lifestyle - she also loved seeing her sister rendered speechless. Josh had announced his intent to return to his University flat and stay there alone for two weeks until term started, and mum had invited him to stay with us.
My parents were quite free-thinking (less so than my aunt and uncle, though), and Josh was sleeping in my room. Mum had rationalised that Debbie had had so many casual boyfriends stop in her room, that it would be nice to have two young people having sex under her roof who genuinely cared about each other.
The doctor and I chatted easily. I had known her for many years, and rather than just doing all the standard medical checks, she had chatted with me about my relationship, about my past body issues and expressed her pleasure that I seemed to be so happy.
I was told the pill would not be effective for seven days after I started taking it (note to self - special night next week), but that the morning after pill would be useful if we got 'carried away'.
I walked away with a prescription and a smile.
Back home, Josh was unpacking his belongings (the ones he needed anyway) into our spare room - my wardrobe and drawers already being full of clothes. Mum was helping.
"Jen, why don't you go through some of these clothes and get rid of things you don't want? You've got the money your granddad left you - and I don't mind giving you some - go and get some nice new outfits."
The idea appealed. Although I had a few better items, much of my wardrobe was still ultra-conservative, and one thing I had learned about myself was that my body was good, and that people admiring it was a huge turn on for both Josh and I.
I helped Josh stack the boxes of practical items he would need at Uni, finish organising his clothes and toiletries, and then we caught a bus in to town.
We went to various clothes' shops, and although I thought Josh would be bored, he actually seemed to enjoy the trip. In truth, I'm not difficult to shop with. I see something, check the size, and if I like it (if we like it), I buy it. None of the trying on, long winded decisions which some women require.
I bought tight jeans, skirts which stopped above the knee, close-fitted t-shirts with scooped necklines, buttoned blouses and crop-tops. I also brought a sexy 'little black dress' with a plunging neckline, just touching my knee, with a split each side to my upper thigh. It was very figure-hugging, and would be perfect to make a statement at any events where I needed to be a little smarter.
Then there was the underwear. Previously, I had worn big, cotton knickers and all-covering bras, with tights beneath skirts. I had some sets of lingerie (thanks to Josh), but wanted something a bit sexier for everyday wear.
I bought thongs and Brazilian style knickers, along with lacy, sheer 'bikini' style panties. Then I selected lacy bras, half and quarter cup, some translucent, others transparent. To round things off, I added some 'hold-up' stockings - fishnets, sheer and patterned (to go with my little black dress and show through the slits at the sides).
We dashed off home, so I could 'model' my purchases for Josh, while he practised his photography skills. That was his excuse anyway. I thought the house would probably be empty - dad was at work, in his office at the Social Care department, mum was also working at the Counselling Centre, and Debbie would probably be out with one of her entourage of boyfriends.
Walking into the house, we were instantly disappointed. Loud music from the front room (some kind of rap or R and B - not my taste) informed us that Debbie was at home. We walked into the lounge to find her entwined with one of the local boys, her t-shirt pushed up to expose her bra, and both of them with their jeans undone.
She looked up at us, casually, neither of them attempting to cover up.
"Wanna join us?" She asked.
I knew that Debbie's large wobbly breasts, and full, curvaceous figure appealed to many men, but Josh was less keen. He knew that she made no effort to stay physically fit, or to keep her body firm and toned, and he preferred someone who exercised regularly, as he and I did, with sport, walking and generally being active. Debbie was idle (harsh but fair), and we both knew that at some point, the curves would lose their firmness and become less appealing.
