Embracing Chaos Ch 03

I can't stop these thoughts, Gary realized. They are like parasites eating into my brain.

At first, Gary was simply turned on by his wife's extramarital sex with Crue. Passion grew once again between the married couple, more intense than ever. Gary loved the sexy, borderline slutty side of his wife. There was a purity there that had been missing for so long. We are sexual things, he thought. Sometimes, we need a good solid fuck. It's hardwired into us. It's natural.

Slowly, darker thoughts crept in. Samantha is my wife and she is sleeping with other men...am I not the best man for her? Who the fuck is this guy? Does Samantha fantasize about him every night instead of me?

The good, erotic thoughts were being pushed aside. Jealousy had wormed it's way in.

Then there were the three orgasms. Three. Samantha had never had three orgasms with Gary. Never. What was Samantha like after three orgasms in a row? Did she scream? Did she sweat? Was she exhausted? Was she satisfied in a way that she had never been satisfied before? There was only one man in the world who knew the answer to that, and it wasn't Gary.

Wow. I saw this coming, but I didn't see this coming.

At work, he couldn't concentrate for too long on anything. He sat at his desk, staring down for long periods of time in a hypnotic trance. Other employees began to notice. Some asked if he was feeling sick. He was falling behind. Folders stacked on his desk began to gather dust. If he couldn't get his act together, the senior managers might come down hard on him.

Fuck.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Fuck, Samantha thought.

Samantha walked through the shopping mall in something of a daze. Nothing felt real anymore. Her relationship with her husband had improved since the one-night stand with Crue. Improved. Gary was more attentive and stronger. More sensitive. A better lover. A better friend. They no longer discussed divorce or communication issues or disappointment or boredom.

Samantha wandered into a lingerie store and began poking around a section dedicated to frilly baby doll outfits. She found one in dark purple and pulled it from the rack. The material felt silky and she guessed it would feel great on her. She held it to her body and smiled, wondering if she might buy this for her husband or perhaps some new, presently unknown lover who would enter her life soon.

This is crazy, she almost said aloud.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As the days elapsed since the date with Crue, calm descended. The concept of an open sexual free-for-all had dissipated as further sexual adventures eluded them. Gary was able to focus on his work at long last and cleared a stockpile of backlogged work from his desk. At home (he still was living with his friend Kent for now, a situation that was appearing more temporary as time went by), he began reading a novel. Lonesome Dove. The book had been recommended to him by many people, and now he found the time. Somewhere along the way, the frustration of his divorce and the stress of dealing with his open marriage had pulled him away from every hobby he had ever had. His interest in life was returning once more.

Samantha and Gary had chosen not to have a second sexual adventure with Crue, though he was available and both agreed that he might very well be an acceptable partner down the road. Yet, both would soon discover why Crue had come recommended to them. Their ad (placed on a prominent internet web site), announcing them to the world as married and looking for respectable people to play with, both individually and as a couple, had generated a fair amount of replies. Many of these replies were of no value and were immediately rejected.

"Oh my God," Samantha laughed, covering her mouth. "Come here. Look at this."

Samantha had opened a reply from a local man who attached a picture of his cock - a large, somewhat limpy erection that had been photographed poorly and appeared a pale yellow color.

"I think he has jaundice," laughed Samantha.

The sender had snapped his own picture in front of a mirror in his bedroom. The room behind looked disorganized. Samantha thought she could see a smashed can of beer on the dresser behind him.

"I do...NOT...want to see a picture of your cock, thank you," Samantha sputtered as she deleted the email. "Gross."

"Not a turn on, huh?" Gary asked.

"Uh, are you kidding? Yuck."

"Anything worth responding to?"

"Nothing."

"I didn't think it would so be hard to find people."

"Maybe that's because, my love, we are pickier than everyone else."

Gary thought that might be true. After all, he could wander in to any bar on a Saturday night and pick up a woman to spend the night with, but that idea held no appeal to him. Since when had meaningless sex meant so little to him? Did the quality of the person outweigh the need for sex? Apparently so.

"Yeah, we need people we can trust."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Then one day, the floodgates opened.

She read an ad on the same website from a man in his late 30's who wanted a "friends with benefits" situation. He was a local doctor, recently divorced and looking for someone to have "fun" with from time to time. His unusual writing style and goofy sense of humor caught her attention:

'Aside from an unhealthy fixation on model trains and baseball, I am pretty much your average guy. Well, also I enjoy farmer's markets. And science fiction. Okay, apart from those things, I am pretty much your run-of-the-mill average guy. Oh, and I like comic books and Guns N' Roses. And Sumo Wrestling. Besides all that...oh, who am I kidding? I'm a total freak. Just delete this ad now. Move on. There is nothing to see here."

The ad continued, describing himself as healthy but also morbidly obese and addicted to crystal meth. The more times Samantha read the ad, the funnier she thought it was. Was this guy serious? Was he looking for someone or was he making fun of the ads themselves? She was curious.

She typed out a one sentence response.

'Maybe a total freak is someone I'd enjoy hanging out with.'

Samantha clicked the enter button and laughed.

Later that same day, Samantha had driven to a local hardware store to pick up some plumbing supplies. She found that her toilet had been leaking water slowly. She found the periodic noise - of the tank refilling - annoying. She had had created a temporary fix by placing a small brick into the bowl over the rubber seal, which applied enough pressure to prevent water from leaking through. She drove to the hardware store, parked, and saw Crue waving to her from an adjacent parking spot.

"How have you been?" Crue asked after Samantha shut the car door.

"Pretty good," Samantha answered with a smile. "Just headed to the hardware store. You?"

"Not bad. Anything I can help with? I'm pretty good with..."

"Your tool?" Samantha replied flirtatiously. Samantha both laughed and couldn't believe her ears - did she say that? Really?

"Well, yeah, there's that," Crue responded. "But, honestly, I am pretty good with plumbing."

Several competing thoughts went through Samantha's head. First of all, she thought she could do the plumbing work herself. Secondly, she thought that maybe she would mess up the plumbing job and potentially do a lot of water damage to her floor and the basement ceiling below. Thirdly, she thought he was hot and wanted to spend more time with him.

"I could use the help. My husband is at work today and he'll be too tired tonight to do it."

Crue smiled. Samantha wondered if it would be okay to have sex with Crue. Did she need to let her husband know in advance? She didn't know. This particular scenario had not come up yet.

Less than twenty minutes later, Samantha was on her knees, rubbing her tongue up and down the length of Crue's shaft.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"There is that man again," the old woman from across the street whispered as she peeked through her horizontal blinds. "I think that woman is having an affair."

"Not your business," her husband replied. "Nothing good can come from sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."

"But it's wrong," she spat back. "So wrong. She's going straight to hell. Nobody gets away with things like this. Not on this earth."

Her husband sighed. There was nothing he could do. His wife was a bitter train wreck of a person. Rational discussion was lost on her. She will do what she will do and say what she will say. He only hoped she didn't get them involved. He didn't condone extramarital affairs, but he was tired and didn't want any of their drama consuming his life.

"Let it go," was all he managed to say.

The old woman could not let it go. The wheels of her mind were spinning. Something must be done.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This is incredible, she thought, as his thick fingers opened her pussy lips wide and penetrated deep. I went from being a housewife shopping for plumbing supplies to fucking my new lover in just an hour. She loved how his fingers opened her, felt her tender hard clit, then went deeper inside. She found herself opening her legs wider, writhing on his hand. She felt dirty and decadent.

"I have my husband's permission to be this way," she reminded herself. She loved that thought - that her husband was with her the entire time, supporting her as she played sexually. It was a huge relief. She wished he was here, watching him penetrate her...

Samantha spread her legs a bit wider, and Crue accepted the invitation. His fingers played both inside of her pussy and outside, massaging all of the pink folds of flesh he could find. Samantha relaxed, closed her eyes, and came for the first time as his fingers slid up and down across her slit.

"Yessss..."

Crue allowed her to climax, then slid himself deep inside. Samantha closed her eyes and allowed Crue to lead. His powerful thrusting felt so good to her at that moment, almost perfect, as if their bodies were in sync.

"That's my girl," she imagined her husband whispering to her.

"Oh god yes," she answered back audibly. She came again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That night.

"You fucked Crue again?" Gary asked, not quite able to omit a feeling of exasparation. Gary knew that it was important for him not to react with his gut instinct, but this was difficult. His wife, cute and sexy, was able to have good sex regularly without him, and somehow it stung.

"Yeah...."

"Wow. Was it good?"

"Oh, yeah," she smiled.

Gary took a deep breath. He was instantly erect once again. My God, how my wife turns me on, he thought. Yet, he was also frustrated. He felt left out. Upset.

"I didn't know you'd be such a slut."

His words stopped Samantha cold. Her soft smile disappeared. Her fists clenched and her face turned red. Gary knew he had screwed up the moment he said the words - but it was too late to take them back. Samantha was angry, but tried to compose herself.

"You bastard."

Samantha took a deep breath. Gary was dead silent. He knew he had been unfair to his wife, and he deserved to hear her out, no matter what she might say.

"It was fun. It was sexy. Erotic. I felt free...you were with me the whole time..."

Samantha was crying now.

"You gave me permission to do this. To take this risk."

Gary wrapped his arms around her. She didn't resist.

"I enjoyed it, but ONLY because you were there. With me. Supporting me. Yes, I enjoyed it, but only because your voice was in my head, telling me it was okay to enjoy it."

"Is that really true?" Gary said skeptically.

Samantha pulled back.

"Yes, it is true, you total prick! I need you. Every day, I need you. Do you think I would do this if I didn't think you enjoyed it, too?"

Gary felt stupid, but he also felt reaffirmed - he understood intellectually that maybe Samantha's pleasure was a direct result of her freedom to express herself rather than the sexual prowess of her partner. If it was his support and permission that gave Samantha the opportunity to obtain such pleasure, then that might make him feel strong and powerful once again. In control.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. I was confused. I began to feel like I didn't matter...I'm sorry."

Samantha and Gary held each other silently for endless moments. Samantha was hurt, but relaxed into his arms. They began to sway, the only music in the background being the wind rustling the leaves on their cottonwood tree outside the bedroom window.

"If we do this again, I want you there with me, to watch," Samantha said. "You'll see what happens and whether you want this to continue..."

Gary nodded.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After the initial kiss between his wife and her lover, Gary calmed down. He reflected on how overblown and mysterious sex can be, but how simple the act was when viewed live and in person. He also reflected on the culture at large, and how frightening sexual imagery was thought to be. After all, extramarital affairs are commonplace, and part of the power of such an affair is simply the unknown. People who have been cheated on imagine all kinds of exaggerated things, each one a personal blow to their self-esteem.

Yet, here, sex seemed so simple. It was an act of admiration and attraction, but that's all - her pleasure was natural. Sex felt good. How could he have been surprised that she would enjoy this?

Not quite lost on Gary was that his jealousy seemed to build slowly and may come later. He remembered feeling as if parasites were gnawing at his brain. Will I feel this way again in a few days?

Crue was kissing Samantha, his hands on either side of her pretty face, holding her gingerly. Her body was pinned between him and the wall. Crue had an impressive physique, and Gary focused on his wife's hand on his chest - dainty, soft little hands on his muscular body. Sexy, he thought. Crue moved down, kissed her neck and cupped her breasts. His wife had closed her eyes, just as she does with him.

Gary calmed down and found himself getting aroused. This surprised him. He thought that he would be watching, and imagined himself nervous and upset the entire time. Jealous.

"There's nothing to be jealous of here," Gary told himself. "My wife is beautiful and doing what comes naturally."

Crue removed her top, set it aside and sucked slowly on her right nipple. Samantha sighed and grabbed Crue's hair. She was holding him in place and didn't want him to stop. Gary began rubbing his crotch through his jeans.

Crue removed his wife's panties and began licking her. Samantha looked at Gary frequently for the approval she needed, even as she planted her right foot on Crue's shoulder to allow him more access. Gary was horny now. He was proud of his sexy wife and nodded his approval. Samantha smiled back, closed her eyes began moaning even louder. Crue's tongue was lapping her clit. Her legs began shaking.

As they switched positions, Gary considered whether he should masturbate. He had given no thought to this ahead of time, but he was shocked at how firm his erection was. He knew he couldn't deny himself too much longer. This was too good. Too fucking good. I need to come, too, he thought.

When Samantha pulled Crue's thick erection into her mouth, that was too much for Gary and he unzipped his jeans and pulled himself out. Samantha noticed right away. If Crue noticed, he didn't care. Gary started stroking, which in turn energized his wife to lick his shaft more passionately. She loved it - she could do no wrong here.

Finally, Samantha stretched out on the bed, spreading herself at an angle that gave her husband a chance to watch everything. Her pussy lips were already parted. Was that fluid dripping down her slit? Was she that turned on? Oh fuck.

Crue proudly grasped his erection and rubbed the tip around her pussy. Gary was mesmerized. She wanted this. To be fucked. Crue slid his erection deep inside her and began thrusting. Once his cock was inside, Gary could not see the actual act anymore, and he focused his attention on his wife - how her soft legs were spread for her lover, how her painted toes pointed, how her lips were parted and how her breasts softly swayed under him.

She loved it.

So fucking hot, Gary thought.

Crue fucked like an animal and came hard many minutes later. Samantha followed soon after. His wife's orgasm was a pleasure to watch. Feminine, sensual, calm. Beautiful. Gary came hard in his own hand when his wife came. Intense waves surged through him. Incredible.

It was as if he and his wife were connected through the shared experience - one of the most intense of his life. Crue didn't matter so much. He was their tool.

Samantha was smart to have him watch this round. For the first time, he knew that he and his wife loved each other and could make this work. No doubt at all. The event shed light on something potentially ominous, dark and mysterious. What he found was only joy.

That, and the thick milky fluid spilling from his wife's slit.

Gary looked down at his hand - he was left with a mess of his own to clean up. He excused himself and headed to the restroom. Samantha smiled. Crue was oblivious.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Later that evening.

"Oh no."

Gary had opened a letter. One sentence, from an anonymous person, was written in red marker on a small index card. No return address was indicated.

The card said simply: Your wife is having an affair.

"Shit."

To be continued...