Discovering Eroticism

Turning off the annoying alarm I reluctantly swing my legs from the warmth of my slumber cocoon, feet on the fuzzy mat by my bed, cobwebs preventing proper eye focus finally disperse and I look out the window, it's well past sunrise yet the streetlights are still on, it's a dark and dismal day.

Brendon's already left for work, and I wrestle with the thought of why not snuggle with my pillow back in the warm nest I just departed. I have no interest in going to work, however the reality is I have too, we need the money. Since covid we are still trying to get to the end of the month before running out of money and our debt doesn't seem to be diminishing.

Brendon has been employed at the same large insurance company for over 6 years and was laid off for covid. After months of no income, he returned to the company as a fraud investigator at a slightly better salary.

A deep exhaling sigh as I drop my nightgown, stretch, and tediously trudge to the bathroom.

The shower was unable to wash away my funk, masturbating didn't help much either. I brush my hair, reject the bother of makeup, don a basic blue knit dress and drag my ass to the kitchen. I microwave a bagel while leaning on the counter pouring a coffee in my go cup. Coffee in hand, coat half on, bagel between my teeth, waving my arm frantically I run to the bus stop just in time to catch the bus downtown.

I finish my bagel standing in the bus trying to maintain my balance with my ass crack on the back of a seat as I can't hold a pole my coffee and eat my bagel. A fat kid with a runny nose and his mom exits the seat directly in front of me, I hastily occupy the seat as soon as they stand. A smelly, grungy grey haired old lady sits next to me. I get a dagger shooting glare from her as I tug my coat and try to shrink to the window so nothing of mine contacts her dirty clothes. A few minutes later, I had to ask her twice to let me past her at my stop.

This Eeyore like dreariness seems to be the current state of my life, why would I expect anything better.

Darren, our overweight balding office manager arrives daily between 9:05 and 9:15 removes his suitcoat hangs it on his coatrack just inside his office, loosens his tie, unbuttons his shirt and leans on his office doorframe peering over his flock like a shepherd; holding a clipboard and making tiny pencil checkmarks counting his sheep to assure no one is missing.

I'm a data entry person at a large financial firm taking a night class twice a week to become a financial adviser.

In my current workspace, or lack thereof, within close proximity there are 6 computers on 3 large desks. I share the middle desk with Tammy, our computer screens are back-to-back, within arm's length on either side are two other setups mirror images of ours.

Although Tammy and I have shared a desk for over a year we hardly know each other. Tammy and my chats are minuscule under the watchful eye of dictator Darren. We occasionally share a lunch so we're not like good friends but have a basic knowledge of each other's lives. Tammy 's divorced, a few years older than me and has full custody of her girls 6 and 8.

Tammy raises her eyes "Dawn, you look so sad, what's wrong."

I continue tapping keys and respond. "I am depressed, my life is in a sad seemingly endless rut, we're seriously struggling financially and now I think Brendon's cheating."

Tammy leans closer lowering her voice "Oh, why do you expect cheating, did you find some risqué messages?"

"No, he just hasn't shown any intimacy for a several weeks. We used to make love 2 or 3 times a week, now he doesn't even respond to my intimate advances, I bought new lingerie tried cuddling got nothing in response. I'm at my wit's end and can't seem to shake this funk. I might need drugs to deal with my depression."

Tammy just above whisper, "Men, pahtooey, who needs 'em they cause more negative emotions than positive. Look at you, all emotionally distressed, down in the dumps. If Brendon's cheating, why are you blaming yourself, you've got guilt mixed with anger toward him for his cheating; he's likely happy as a pig in shit and you're miserable."

I quietly query "what, what are you trying to say?"

Tammy stops typing puts her face next to her computer finger wag beckons me closer, our cheeks next to our computer screens our faces inches apart she softly whispers "You're not to blame, you're a sexy young woman you need a new partner, in the meantime buy a couple good dildos, sex will last longer, no wet spot to avoid, then forget about men you need to find a lesbian lover to share expenses and a happy life with."

"TAMMY, DAWN." Darren's booming voice "Quit gossiping and get to work. I'm deducting 15 minutes from your pay."

I chuckled at Tammy's comment and focused on data entry.

We visited at lunch; she definitely made valid points had me questioning my marriage, making me realize I do deserve better, in turn making me feel better.

It was an all-around another tough day; I was soaking in the tub after supper, Tammy's words were mulling around in my head, guilt, heartache, anxiety, wet spot, dildo, lesbian. I find myself playing with myself, my nipples are erect and I'm gently rubbing my labia. Eyes closed fantasizing I'm being finger edged by Tammy, as I'm approaching an orgasm I'm disrupted by voices in the other room, but more like noises rather than talking, I strained eagerly yet couldn't discern what was going on. My languorous onanism enjoyment currently curtailed curious I wrap a large bath towel around me and poke my head around the corner.

Brendon is watching porn, his pants around his ankles a tube of hand lotion beside him his hand stroking his shiny pecker with his right hand and a wad of tissue in his lefthand.

Porn, he's masturbating watching porn and I've been horny as fuck trying for weeks to initiate some sexual activity together and he prefers porn.

His intense interest in porn and no sexual desire for me anymore he's definitely cheating.

I was angry, my rage building I was about to rush out screaming to confront him when something shifted my focus to the TV screen. I was quickly quite aroused viewing the lesbians on the screen, I'd had no experience with another female and my curiosity piqued I watched. A redhead was tongue flicking a blonde's clit while her finger delicately stroked the smooth spread wide pink wet labia. My fingers unconsciously mirrored what I was watching.

A robust Black woman was standing beside the bed lubing a rather long, large strap on. I was enthralled viewing this entire pornographic scenario it was mesmerizing it was exhilaratingly stimulating; I was nearing an orgasm when the Black woman impaled the redhead from behind. Captivated I stood there viewing and I climaxed before Brendan. I went to bed and got myself off again with my 8" dildo envisioning myself being the blonde, eating a pussy while getting doggy fucked by a big dick.

Derrick and I began constantly fighting since the porn incident and for some reason I wanted us to try to reconciliate, see a counsellor, do whatever it took; I tried all week to no avail to convince Brendon to try and save our marriage.

I went to his office hoping to go for lunch with him, one last effort before we end up in a separation and an expensive divorce.

"He's already left," a coworker suggested "he is likely at the bistro on the next block."

As I approached, I saw he was sitting with a blonde, his back to the window.

I aligned myself to take a selfie with them in the background and actually captured them as he leaned to her, and they kissed. I knew that meant our marriage was over but still found myself crying; I didn't want to give up.

The next couple of days Brendon had to go out of town for an arson fraud investigation. The next morning, I went to confront his blonde lover at his office; I easily discovered her name was Janet a colleague investigator.

"I'm not furious Janet," as I took a seat in her cubicle. "I simply want to know if my marriage is done, is it an office fling, or are you in love with Brendon and planning a future, I need some answers." I fought the tears forming. "Tell me how it started."

Janet gave me a comforting smile, "There is nothing serious with Brendon and I; I flirt with everyone, especially women. One day after work several of us coworkers were having drinks, playing 'never have I ever.' The questions became of a sexual nature. The question was 'never have I ever given or gotten a blow job;' Brendon was the only one who hadn't. Next question was if they 'ever participated in an orgy or multi person sex.' Before responding Brendon left, I could see the hurt in his eyes, I followed him and we went for drinks elsewhere and he confided you had a low libido and he did not, and he was upset he was missing out on so much."

I interrupted, "That's not true Janet, he's the one who stopped, I've attempted so many times, I bought lingerie, gave him massages. He shut down about 3 months ago, that's when I suspected he was having an affair."

"Well, I believed him and the next time you went to night classes I invited him to my swing club. He and I never had sex, I'm 100% lesbian, but we became good friends." She continued "Brendon's been attending swing parties whenever you go to your night classes."

I was dumbfounded, what do I do now; well, if any consolation at least now I know for sure why he's not interested in me?

Brendon and I weren't fighting the next couple days, but we weren't intimate either; we entered a silent phase hardly speaking to each other. With my newfound knowledge of Janet revealing his secret; I noticed he appeared anxious for me to leave to my classes, and I knew he was going out for sex, prompting me to develop an exit strategy and after a couple days decided it was time to implement it.

At supper I mentioned, "I was introduced to a new investment program last night, it looks better than anything we currently have I think we should transfer our investments."

He didn't even look at me, "I'm not into finances that's your thing, I'll support whatever you think best."

"Ok, I'll do the paperwork tomorrow, and we can meet at the bank and sign."

He pushed his empty plate back, wiped his mouth. "Can you bring the papers to my office, I'm really busy right now."

I nod, clearing the dishes "Yup, but a commissioner of oaths has to witness the signing."

He stood, "Ok, we have commissioners, I'll arrange one."

I didn't tell Brendon, but I booked an open-ended personal time off work.

The next morning, I went to our bank had them draw up the necessary documents requesting all our current investments to be transferred to a new investment in my name only. Once they're printed, I take them to his office. He signs them without even glancing at them.

Instead of going to my night class on Thursday, I drove down the street and parked, waiting to follow wherever Brendan was going. I didn't have to wait long, less than 10 minutes later he went across the street to Ivan and Denise's house; within minutes 2 other couples arrived at their house. I was shocked as we've been friends for years, and I had no Idea they were swingers, and didn't investigate, I had no interest in catching him I was simply curious and with the knowledge happening so quickly I went to my class.

We had been invited to Denise and Ivan's for supper that Friday night, the 4 of us have been friends since we moved into the neighborhood 4 years ago. I bought a bottle of wine and decided to take it over to Denise's shortly after lunch, mainly because I wanted to vent about our failing marriage and maybe get a little insight as to their swinging lifestyle.

I often entered through their unlocked patio doors and did so this time, I place the wine bottle on the kitchen table and as I move toward the living room, I could see bare shoulders above the sofa. Hearing a deep sighing moan raised my curiosity I stealthily move closer crouching and staying behind hopefully to not be discovered. Unsure who or what was going on, I surmised one must be Denise.

A pair of female legs come up and wrap around the bare torso as I get to the end of the sofa; there are black straps around white ass cheeks. OMG, the female on top is humping Denise with a strap on. I'm stunned, I stand frozen mesmerized seeing this sapphic eroticism; it is however extremely exhilarating, I get immediately turned on. This is so sexually stimulating somewhat sexier than the lesbian porn that got me so excited last week. I'm in a hypnotic state, the site of the bare ass woman plunging a black strap on into Denise's sopping wet pussy was trance like. I silently stood there viewing in lustful amazement, the carnal action and sensuous sounds caused serious contemplation.

I was so friggin horny I was earnestly tempted to join them, my mind wanting my body to move behind the white ass, have my finger's part the white cheeks so my mouth could devour the appealing pussy. After a few minutes of voyeurism, I decide it best I quietly leave.

I rush home and frantically use my 7" remote dildo for a quick but satisfying orgasm pretending I was Denise on the sofa receiving a strap on fucking. The vision stuck and replayed in my mind the remainder of the afternoon, keeping me relatively horny. Brendan came home in a great mood and was excited about supper plans.

As we arrive to Ivan's and Denise's for supper Brendan sits with Ivan in the living room, I go to assist Denise in the kitchen.

Denise turns as I enter "Thanks for the wine." She has a huge smile and is holding a glass for me to take. "I guess I was otherwise disposed when you delivered it." She had a devilish grin "Were you appalled at what you saw?"

I lift my glass touch hers "No, it sounded like you were enjoying yourself, so I didn't want to interrupt."

Denise winked "Oh I wish you would have; I've had my eye on you for some time, on previous get togethers you didn't seem receptive, for some reason I sense you're ready now." She took the wine glass out of my hand, set it on the counter, her fingers brushed my cheek brushing my hair behind my ear, caressing my neck she delicately kisses my lips whispering "Gawd I've wanted you since we met." Her lips were warm and so soft, our tender kiss was thrilling; maybe it was from my already aroused state, maybe it was the fact I've been desiring a same sex encounter lately. Denise's fingers slide lightly over my breast, down my side and her thigh presses between my legs as her fingers squeeze my butt cheek. "My patio door is always open, I'm always receptive to sex CUM visit me." Her tongue grazes my lips then delicately trails across my cheek to nibble my earlobe. I instinctively cup one of her large melons as our tongues swirl. Denise moans "Gawd I want you." stepping back she adds "But that will have to wait, other guests are expected in an hour, let's get the food out."

At the dining table Ivan is at the far end involved in sports talk with Brendon. Denise and I are quietly conversing about my struggling marriage, mostly I was venting, Denise is empathetic and being very supportive. Several times she gently, intimately touched me, a gentle brush on my cheek or a thigh squeeze, it felt damn good, and I knew we would be hooking up in the future.

After the meal the guys went to the sofa with drinks, we were tidying up in the kitchen, flirting and sneaking in some fondling, we even had another intimate kiss. Denise is putting away leftovers and I am about to start washing the dishes when the doorbell chimed, party guests started arriving.

"Denise, go welcome your guests," I pat her bum, "I'll finish up in here." I started washing dishes allowing Denise to greet her guests, my mind was preoccupied with lusty lesbian thoughts, I might be wetter between my legs than on my hands.

It was well over a 1/2 hour when I came out of the kitchen; there were over a dozen people in the living room the distinct aroma of marijuana wafting and a slight smoke haze. The next thing that caught my attention was the provocative attire of all the women. Everyone was mingling, drinking, toking passing weed, no one was sitting; I stood in the doorway, surveying the guests admiring the smorgasbord of licentious women, deciding where to insert myself.

I notice Brendon in the corner chatting with Derrick and Sydney, newcomers to the neighborhood they moved in down the street shortly after Christmas. Sydney is wearing a snug spaghetti strap bright yellow micro mini that accented her curves, her dark brown hair in a ponytail made her look like a teenager. Sydney is very attractive, a petite slender, small breasted girl. The guys were obviously flirting, and she was definitely enjoying the attention, I figured I'd start my evening with them.

I was approaching them when Denise rushes to me holding an older woman's hand. The moment I saw her, I knew it was the woman who was on top of Denise this afternoon. Denise introduces me to Madaline, a very voluptuous, 6', full figured over 50-year-old, broad shoulders, very short salt and pepper hairdo, blue eyed woman. Pasty white skin, a bit too much makeup and perfume, however quite alluring; elegant, dignified and poised, her dark green designer dress slit to above the hip, no evidence of panties but a red garter, shiny silver silk stockings adorned perfect legs. Madaline was definitely checking me out as much as I was vetting her.

"Darling, my God you're absolutely ravishing," Madaline takes my hand, "Denise, I should be disciplined for the lewd things I'm thinking of doing to her." Squeezing my hand a little harder and longer than I was comfortable with, I felt uneasy "pleased to meet you Madeline, excuse me I need to go to the bathroom." I smiled.

Madaline didn't release my hand. "Excellent idea, let me join you." Her eyes lust filled, but not what I wanted.

I scrunch my face "No, it's best I do this alone."

I head down the hallway for the bathroom, the main was occupied, so I went to the master bedroom.

While peeing I envisioned their afternoon's lesbian eroticism, and Denise's pre supper kiss, I instantly got aroused, but this isn't the time or place to masturbate so I finish peeing, gently and carefully wiping as to not entice any stronger arousal that might result in elevating myself past the ability to stop. I rinse my hands, straighten my dress composing myself in front of the mirror before leaving.

Exiting the bathroom, Ivan and a fellow I didn't know were sitting on the bed. There were 2 women I hadn't met standing in the middle of the room passionately making out, an attractive middle aged blonde's fingers were inside a younger chubby brunette's panties; both pairs of bare breasts were being fondled and evidence of saliva on their nipples reflected the dim lighting.

"Dawn, please stay, join us." Ivan spoke as he was removing his pants. I pause, it was intensely arousing to see the gals passionate embrace, and even though I was greatly aroused and intrigued. I hesitated, being blindsided by the unexpected sexual scenario. I need air, this is too much, I sheepishly leave without speaking.

Brendon must have known this was a swinger's party, but he didn't mention anything to me, likely figuring I wouldn't attend, therefore making it unable for him to participate. I guess after discovering they were swinger's I should have known.

I went to the kitchen considering covertly leaving out the patio doors as I am sneaking past the living room my eyes are drawn to a sensuous topless woman in a red thong dancing with a couple. The man passionately kissing her mouth, the woman was sucking her tit, and her fingers were fidgeting inside the thong. I already had that familiar twinge in my loins that I intended to go home and quelch, viewing this salacious scene aroused me even more. I pause at the kitchen doorway, maybe I should stay and participate I've got no reason to go home, why masturbate when everyone here is a willing sex partner; I might as well at least watch until I absolutely need relief, then decide if I stay or go.