When I entered the room, Rachel was lying beside Lisa, looking right at me. On the other hand, Lisa was looking for pinholes in her eyelids. A soft snore escaped her mouth, and Rachel chuckled quietly. I walked around the bed and made sure that Lisa was tucked in before kissing her forehead. She was dead to the world.
Rachel got up and joined me as I walked out of the room. We went to the kitchen, and I poured us a glass of wine. I leaned back against the island while Rachel leaned against the kitchen cabinets. She had read me pretty well and knew that I wasn't feeling all that romantic at the moment.
"Rachel, I am so confused right now. I know the alpha types would say kick her to the curb, but that's the last thing I want to do. I understand how things happened and probably would have reacted the same if I were in a situation that erotic. I can also understand how she could lose herself in the experience. I guess what worries me is that if tonight tempted her so much, when will the next temptation happen? Will she decide that she likes fucking other people? Will I even fit in the life she lives next?
"I know what she said, but she was exhausted. I can't help but wonder if, after she's had time to think about it, she'll want to do it again. Tonight was the best sexual experience of her life without a doubt, and I'm left feeling inadequate as hell."
Rachel's eyes were wet when she walked over to me. "I'm glad you're telling me this now so we can deal with it. If you said those things to Lisa, it would break her heart. I'm not seeing the Gary that Lisa and I know and love. Yes, I said love. I do love you, Gary, and so does Lisa. She loves you with a passion I've never witnessed before. You truly do complete her. If you lose your faith in her, it will destroy her.
"I get where you're coming from. I really do. My ex-husband's PA is younger, hotter, and much more compliant than I am. I saw my marriage evaporate and couldn't do a damn thing about it. And do you know why? It wasn't because she had me beat in every sexual measure. It was because he didn't love me. It's as simple as that. He betrayed our marriage without one second of compassion for the woman he'd promised to love all of his life.
"Do you understand what I'm telling you? Tonight happened, and at the end of it Lisa was concerned about you. When you touched her, her entire world focused on you. I don't believe for a second that you will lose Lisa because of a sexual adventure. Your biggest danger is losing faith in yourself, and in her."
She kissed my lips lightly while I wrapped my head around what she had told me. I wanted to believe everything she had said about Lisa's love for me. It hit me hard when I realized that I was making this hard and doing it by doubting the woman I love. I hugged Rachel and held her tight until my arms got tired. "Thank you, Rachel, for saving me from myself."
I let her get some circulation back and kissed her lips. "Has Lisa told you yet that she's in love with you?"
Rachel shook her head. "I really feel that she does, but she hasn't said it."
I kissed her again. "It's like she's waiting for something, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"I know what she's waiting for. When she wakes in the morning, the waiting will be over. In the interim, what will you and I do to fill the long hours of waiting? I suppose we could sleep, but to be honest, there is this amazing, beautiful woman in my arms, and I would very much like to make love to her.
"What are your thoughts on the matter, dear Rachel? Sleep or...?"
Her mouth fell on mine, and her tongue was in my mouth in a heartbeat. She managed to pull back after a few minutes, although her hand kept squeezing my erect cock through my pants. She rubbed a hand along my length. "I'll take 'or' anytime and every time."
~~~~~{}~~~~~
I left Rachel sleeping soundly in the guest room where the two of us had spent the night. The anxiety I had suppressed woke me early, and it was just as well. I wanted to be near Lisa when she woke so that she wouldn't be anxious, especially since I hadn't slept in our bed last night. I could just see her waking up to see my side of the bed undisturbed and jumping to some unhealthy conclusion.
I checked on her as soon as I got up. I walked over to the bed and looked down at her sleeping face. She looked so wonderfully beautiful. It struck me how very much I loved her. I leaned down and kissed her cheek, but she was sleeping so deeply I knew she didn't notice. That was fine with me. I hadn't wanted to disturb her anyway. I walked around to the other side of the bed and pulled the covers down. I took my pillow, rolled it around a bit to make it look used, and gently laid it against Lisa's shoulder.
I stepped back and took a short look. If she woke alone, she would roll onto my pillow and see the turned-down blankets. She would hopefully assume that I slept next to her and, therefore wouldn't be upset. She could then wake up without worrying that I left her or some shit like that. When we got around to talking about last night, I wanted us both calm and open to each other.
I made coffee and read for an hour before taking a shower and getting dressed for the day. I got Lisa a glass of cold water and some Ibuprofen. I walked into the bedroom with the idea of letting her sleep and leaving my little offering on the nightstand.
I'm sure that I didn't make a noise. I think she sensed my presence because her eyes opened sleepily, and she watched me set the water and pills down. Her voice was soft but full of emotion. "I love you, Gary."
I looked at her, and what I saw nearly broke my heart. She looked like she was bracing for the blow that would kill her. I was on the bed holding her in an instant. I kissed her lips, then looked into her pain-filled eyes. "I love you, Lisa. That hasn't changed, and it won't. I'm not going anywhere unless you make me."
I needed her to know that the choice was hers. It was always hers. There was no way I would give her up unless she wanted out. I would let her go if she decided her life needed something I couldn't give her. I refused to contemplate what life would be like after that.
Her arms held me tightly. She buried her face in my neck for the longest time. When she pulled back to look at me, I smiled gently. That got me another crushing hug. "I'm a stupid slut, and I don't deserve you, Gary."
