Those frigging elves were really to blame thought the cherub as he held the ice pack to his head. Talking all that shit. That's what really spun him up. Their whole bullshit comparing him to baby new year got him pissed. That eggnog they were serving didn't help. It tasted good and after a few glasses, he was feeling no pain. He wasn't thinking quick enough either. He stayed there way too long. He was going to walk out but that comment about changing his diaper really snagged him back in. He was a god for fuck sake. Even in this chubby child's body with a diaper he had to show them he would outlast them, outdrink them. The beers started flowing and the elves kept antagonizing. Of course, they did it was after Christmas and they had nothing to do for a few months. They had time to blow. They could screw with him. He should have picked up on the clues as time went on.
The elves started passing out. The first indicator of a long time was passing. They could hold their liquor for better than three-quarters of the entities in the joint. Did he catch that sign that it was time to leave? No, he doubled down and the shots started coming out: Jager, Rumple Minze, Wild Turkey. That hammered those little fucking north pole degenerates.
The second sign, Old Man Winter showed up talking about joining the festivities early and how mother nature would be pissed. This got everyone laughing which was an encouragement to the child archer. He started talking with the old man about events before the elves existed. Just to prove that he was older than them. He was a god. Those little toy makers needed to understand that.
Third sign, the clumsy bunny bumped into him spilling the winged baby's tankard. Apologizing, the flopsy-eared cotton-tailed bastard hopped away explaining he had to go prepare the dye for the eggs and get the candy ready. That should have been a big fucking hint. The rabbit's day was after his. But no. That sign went right over his head. The rabbit always made such a big deal about his holiday when it really belonged to the new god. Another example of a god being downplayed. Same thing happened with him and St. Valentines Day. The friggin' church almost removed him from the picture altogether. What did the saint know about love?
It wasn't until after he heard the firecrackers and all the Asiatic dragons showed up to join the party did he realize he had stayed too late. He outdrank the elves but they had kept him beyond his time. Now he was going to have to work his ass off to get things finished. Mom was going to be pissed. She had a list and he would have to let those arrows fly quicker than ever. He left the party flying along with black coffee in his hand. He called a ride and went straight home. A couple of days to sleep it off then right to work.
Oh, the fucking headache. The shower barely helped. The greasy meal soaked up little. A Monster and some Tylenol. An old god relying on modern conveniences. Those fucking elves. Next time he'd get even. Now time to work. He grabbed the list from his very irate goddess mother. Hungover from months of drinking, he headed out to do a month's worth of matchmaking in a couple of days. The hangover was pounding him.
The early part of the week had gone as well as could be expected. Mom's list was long but nothing he couldn't handle. He could move faster than possible. Santa was a tortoise compared to him. No hangover would slow him down. Shaky hands meant tough accuracy. He would just be extra steady, breathe, and double-check his targets. He was confident with that.
The main issue was with the dosing. He had a couple of varieties of doses to put on the arrows. Love is common. Lust made people horny. Repel makes two people not get along. Repulse makes people despise each other. The doses affected the length the feelings lasted. From a drop for a few hours to many drops for a lifetime. Once someone is dosed, the dose can't be changed for a couple of days. He set that rule a long time ago to combat other gods when they tried to screw him. The last dose was True Love(TL). He seldom used it unless he knew the people were already a good match. A couple of drops of that lasts forever. There was very little he could change for months in that case.
His shaky hands were having trouble getting precise with the drops. With his bloodshot eyes, he could hardly focus to make sure the mixtures were right. He got most of them close and made no major errors. He did manage to overdose a couple on lust. They'll be spending a couple of weeks in bed and have trouble walking but they'll enjoy each other. His mom would be ok with everything.
Carl was rushing about his day. He had some last-minute errands to run. It was the morning of Valentine's Day. He had reservations at the top restaurant in the city. The roses were ordered. The hotel was booked. Things were almost all set. Now a fun meeting with Jackie for lunch. A nice quick meal then back to running around.. The ring would be the last stop of the day. Jackie would surely say yes. They had met last February 14th at a singles get-together. Both had been in lousy relationships and were sick of the dating scene, He had felt a sharp pain in his arm and reached over to rub it. It was that moment he looked up and the two locked eyes. Her beautiful long blonde hair and big blue eyes stared at him dreamily. It was love at first site. Their relationship raced along. Vacations taken. Keys exchanged. Families and friends met. All was perfect. Things just fell into place. He was confident that she would say yes. At his age, he felt this was his second shot at love. He knew he felt he was sure she was thinking the same way.
The chubby archer was flying about downtown. He still felt the effects of the hangover. A few months of drinking doesn't go away with a few days of sleep and a shower. He had barely finished his mom's list and his chores. Even hungover he had to try and spread merriment. It was Valentine's Day. His Day. Should be Cupid's day but he grew outta that a long time ago. Oh well, he was the true worker on this day. Tomorrow is a day's break. Then screw with the elves. Now he was just enjoying some acts of matchmaking. People he had seen all year around. He was catching up with as many as he could to shoot the final arrows to connect them. But his hands were still shaking from the months of drinking. God damn elves. He needed some coffee to calm his nerves. He knew a little cafe in this area that was perfect. He had matched the owner. He could work on him while grabbing some caffeine. He could be invisible and sneaky but had to be seen to get the much-needed coffee. He put on his best homeless guise and popped in. He strolled over to the counter and ordered the caffeinated nectar. Black, extra strong with plenty of sugar. The owner, Emelio, nodded to him and prepped the order. Emelio was good people. He didn't hesitate to serve the beggar standing at his counter. The baby-faced god had struck Emelio with a love arrow about ten years back. Paired him up with a cute little baker. The two opened up this awesome little place. He took the coffee from the man. "No charge sir, Happy Valentine's Day." Now that's a man that knows how to win me over he thought. He saw Emelio squeeze his wife's butt as he passed her behind the counter. She smiled at him and kept working. They still had it. He dipped two arrows a little bit of lust and some true love. His chubby fingers rubbed the mixture on the tips. He let the magic fly and gave each of them their dose. He loved to reinspire the love that was there. Especially with good people. He watched the two lovers look at each other and smile. Emelio leaned over and kissed his bride. That would give them one horny weekend and another ten years of happiness at least. A solid match always made him happy.
Isabella, Izzy, as everyone called her was riding her bike through the city. She was a young artist struggling to make it. She took a job as a messenger to make some side cash to pay the bills. Besides the riding kept her in shape. She looked at her watch 1150. Her next pick-up was at 1245. She had plenty of time to grab a quick bite. She popped the curb and slid her bike to a stop, dismounting and dropping the kickstand in one fluid motion. She popped it into the rack and locked it tight. Her helmet swung from the handlebar as she stepped toward the cafe. She ran her hand through her short black hair wiping some of the sweat off. It was a warm day for February. She wore long tight bike pants and a tight zippered hoody. Opening the door of the cafe a hand grabbed hers. A prim and proper woman dressed in a full pink coat with long blond hair looked at her and then her hand. The woman smiled brightly her blue eyes flashing. She apologized emphatically.
Izzy opened the door and politely nodded and smirked. She couldn't stand ritzy older people. She was sure the woman had been in a sorority a long time ago. The woman was still that snotty type. A high-maintenance woman. Probably never worked a hard day in her life. Izzy walked to the counter and watched the blonde woman walk over to a table where a brown-haired suit jumped up to greet her. They exchanged kisses and hugs as Izzy looked on. Fucking yuppies. Izzy ordered and went to sit down. A slight smile to the homeless guy drinking coffee near the register. She looked around for a seat. The only table available was next to the Yuppy couple. Great, she put in her ear pods as she sat. At least she wouldn't have to hear them. The music jammed as she watched the two smiling and talking. A sign behind them caught her eye. Valentine's Day special. Oh shit, that was today. The BS marketing holiday. She shook her head. Izzy hadn't had many good relationships in her short life. She really knew how to date idiots and losers. She even gave up on guys and tried dating girls for a while. She couldn't pick any better with them. Now she was a happy bachelorette. She lived alone in a small apartment. The landlord let her use the basement as a studio for no extra charge. Young and free in the city. She loved being single. After her last delivery, she would relax in a bath and read a book alone. The music drowned out her thoughts.
Jackie was rushing to get to the cafe to meet Carl. She loved when he met her for lunch. Especially on Valentine's Day. A holiday she loved since she had met Carl the year before. She had a list of bad relationships in the past but that all changed when she met him. She loved Valentine's Day. She always told people, "It was Cupid's arrow that struck Carl and me. That's what started our happiness." She finally felt comfortable with someone. She was happy and in love. At her age who could ask for more? She wore a red sweater with little hearts on it. She had a long pink coat with a red knit cap. She felt like one of the candy hearts. The cafe was the perfect spot. Walking distance from her job and quick, good food. She was thinking about how she might flash her red sexy lingerie to tease Carl as she reached for the door. She had picked it up this morning and changed in the bathroom at work. She was always trying to keep up her looks. It became more difficult as she got older. She worked out but it was getting harder to stay in shape. She accidentally grabbed another person's hand. "Oh I'm so sorry, I'm lost in my mind." The young girl smirked but held the door for her. "Thank you," she said as she walked in. The girl was dressed in all black with short black hair. Probably one of those goth girls. Wow, youth was wasted on the young. At that age, she had been dressed sexy and to the nines all the time. Course, that hadn't worked out for her very well with all the losers she had ended up with. Oh well, at least she had her man. In fact, there he was she smiled as she saw Carl. She was always happy when Carl was nearby. She rushed over to join him.
Carl couldn't take his eyes off his girl. He was so excited to see her. He had never felt that way about someone. She looked so pretty in her red hat and long pink coat. He knew her lunch time was limited so he had ordered for her. He had been in plenty of shitty relationships before Jackie. Meeting her changed his life. He was always depressed before thinking that love had passed him. She brought out the happiness he had been lacking. Every time he saw her a smile can across his face. He really loved her. He was glad he didn't buy the ring yet because he was sure he would have ended up asking her right there. He knew she would say yes.
